Semper Fi
by MyMeloni
Summary: Elliot wants to reconnect with Olivia, but he's a little nervous about how she'll react. He chooses a safe way to contact her. Will she let him back into her life after all this time? (This is my VERY first fanfic ever. Please be gentle!) *Changed rating to M to be on the safe side.* REMINDER: I will NOT accept troll guest reviews with rude names & cursing.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC owns the characters and SVU episodes. This story is mine.**

**A/N: Set in present day, shortly after the "Manhattan Vigil" episode. Elliot is divorced. This is my first fanfic ever. I can't stand that the show has not even mentioned Elliot, and I refuse to believe he'd be out of Olivia's life forever. Here is my take on how they reconnect. Though I chose real places in some cases, they will have fictional details, especially since I've never been to NYC!**

**Semper Fi**

EO "The Mentor"

**Skylight Diner, 402 W. 34****th**** Street**

**Wednesday, October 17, 2012**

Don Cragen took off his reading glasses and absently set them on the table, still holding the letter in his hands. The lunchtime drone of the diner barely registered as he gazed thoughtfully at the younger man across from him, who was nervously spinning his glass of tea around in his large hands. His blue eyes finally lifted to Don's, silently imploring the older man to put him out of his misery.

"Elliot," Don finally said with a small smile, "all I can say is, it's about damn time!" As his smile widened, his booth mate relaxed and flashed a brilliant grin of his own.

"Yes, it is," Elliot said. "I just hope it's not too late. I mean, I hope she'll hear me out. I wouldn't blame her, though, if she told me to fuck off after all this time." The smile faded and Elliot ran his hand over his face as he stared down at his picked-over meal.

Don rubbed his chin, weighing his words. "I'll be honest with you, Elliot. Olivia was devastated when you left and you wouldn't return her calls or texts. She was off her game for a long time, and for a while I wondered if she'd be able to pick up the pieces. But you and I both know how strong she is, and she's better now. She's not quite the same Liv, but she's doing . . . better."

Elliot sighed. "And what if this letter sends her into another tailspin? I—I can't do that to her again. Maybe the new Liv is better off without me in her life." Elliot scowled and slumped back in his seat.

Don summoned their server and took care of the check. "You won't find out unless you give it a shot," he said, laying some bills on the table for a tip. "And I never knew you as someone to back down so easily," he challenged, his dark eyes steadily holding Elliot's gaze. "This has been a long time coming for both of you. Go after her before it _is_ too late."

Elliot chuckled heartily. "Is that an order, sir?"

"If that's what it takes," Don laughed, particularly as he remembered how many times he considered separating his two best detectives or was nearly forced to do so by others. The intense bond between Benson and Stabler formed as soon as they were paired and quickly grew deeper. It was hard to tell where one began and the other ended; they were that close. Too close, Don was often warned. It was a connection obvious to anyone who encountered the pair, yet ironically they themselves seemed unaware of the deep bond. That or they did a damn good job of hiding their feelings. Don had been deeply saddened to lose one of his best detectives and to see Olivia limp along without her other half, but he was glad that now perhaps the two had a chance to face those buried feelings. He just hoped it wouldn't take them another 14 years to act on them.

Don came out of his reverie. "Are you going to mail the letter out today? She needed to take some time off after solving that Hector Rodriguez case. It really got to her that we couldn't bring that boy home alive to his mother. I expect her back Monday, so I imagine she'll be back in town in a day or two."

"Well, actually, Captain, I was thinking of delivering it to her apartment myself right after we leave here," Elliot said, taking the letter back from Don and slipping it into his jacket.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me 'Don'? I am no longer your captain, and you're like a son to me." As they stood up to leave, Cragen clapped his hand onto the man's broad shoulder, remembering a time he had told Olivia those very words about Elliot Stabler.

"Sorry, Cap—er, Don. Old habit." Elliot cleared his throat; his crystal blue eyes shone with unshed tears. "Thanks for doing this for me, for _all _you've done. You've been like a father to both of us."

Don looked at the ground, emotion rendering him momentarily speechless. When he looked up, his eyes were shining too and his voice took on a serious tone. "I think Olivia's ready to talk to you and I wish you both the best, but if you hurt her . . . ."

The two men shared a knowing look before turning to head out the door. "I won't, Don. I've hurt her enough," the younger one said quietly. "I'm going to make it up to her—if she'll let me."

As they headed their separate ways, Don called out to Elliot's retreating figure, "Good, because I may no longer be your captain, but I can still kick your ass!"

**Olivia Benson's apartment**

**Friday evening, October 19, 2012**

Olivia Benson sighed heavily as she approached her door, her emotions weighing on her as much as the luggage she dragged behind her. She had thought getting away for a few days would help take her mind off the Rodriguez case, but all it did was give her **more** time to think: about 1999, her first year in the Special Victims Unit; about one of her first cases; about _him_. It was also a stark reminder about how she had failed. Correction, how she and _Elliot_ failed. Benson and Stabler had had one of the highest case closure rates in all of the NYPD, yet they couldn't save this boy. Olivia scoffed under her breath; she had finally found one reason to be glad Elliot was gone: He wouldn't have to deal with the failure.

As she fished for her keys, Olivia suddenly stopped short and sniffed the air. That smell . . . so familiar. Men's cologne. Her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. HIS cologne! No, it couldn't be; she had to be imagining it. She shook her head. "Get a grip, girl. It's because you were just thinking of him," she chided herself as she unlocked her door and trudged inside. Dropping her bags and coat in the entryway, she looked around her tiny apartment and sighed heavily. She wasn't sure why she expected it to look any different. She'd been gone only a few days, and it's not like she was ever home enough to make it look like she lived there. Still, she felt a profound sense of sadness settle over her.

"Nothing that a hot bath won't fix," she told herself as she grabbed the stack of mail her elderly neighbor had left on her table. She made a mental note to get her key back from Mrs. Henderson tomorrow. She started to thumb through the mail but quickly grew tired of bills, circulars, and junk mail, so she tossed the stack on her coffee table and headed to her bathroom to try to soak away her blues.

Half an hour later, she emerged from her bedroom, her fit but feminine shape wrapped in a plush blue robe and a thick white towel over her chestnut locks. After grabbing a beer from the fridge and making a mental note that she needed groceries—she _always_ needed groceries—she plopped down on her couch and reached forward to pick up the stack of mail. Some of it had fallen onto the floor. As she bent over to pick it up, Olivia gasped and nearly dropped her beer. There on the floor was a plain white envelope with only her name on it. That's all she needed . . . all she needed to recognize the handwriting. HIS writing. Elliot's writing.

The rest of the mail on the table and the floor was quickly forgotten as her trembling hands took hold of the envelope. Almost instinctively she lifted it to her nose and breathed deeply, seeking his scent. Her eyes flew open as it hit her: It wasn't her imagination that she had smelled his cologne in the hall. There was no return address or stamp on the envelope. He had been there! Elliot Stabler had come to her apartment and hand-delivered the letter! As a million questions flooded her mind, including whether or not he had known she was out of town, Olivia knew one thing for sure: She would be asking Mrs. Henderson if she had seen him. Elliot. The man who also took her back to 1999, the year they met, the year they became partners. The year her life changed forever. The year Elliot Stabler stole her heart, only to rip it out of her 12 years later when he walked out of the 16th precinct . . . and her life. Until now.

Olivia wasn't sure how long she sat there staring at the envelope in her hands. Apparently long enough for the beer to get warm, she thought as she absently took a sip before setting the bottle back down on the coffee table. She rocked back and forth on the couch, one leg folded underneath her. She knew she should open it, but she was still in a bit of shock. And fear. Would her heart be able to take whatever the letter contained? She'd spent the last year and a half trying to put Elliot out of her mind and what was left of her heart, and all it took was a millisecond for her walls to come crashing down. What could he possibly have to say after all this time? She wasn't sure she could bear to find out, but she also knew she'd never have closure if she didn't read his letter. She needed to regroup first.

After drying her hair and changing into leggings and her favorite sweatshirt—which just happened to be an old one of Elliot's—Olivia decided she needed something stronger to drink. She grabbed a bottle of vodka and a glass and settled back down on the couch. Taking a swig warmed her on the inside, but it did nothing to stop her trembling fingers as they carefully opened the envelope. Olivia couldn't help but chuckle as she realized Elliot had handwritten the letter. She remembered the many times she fussed at him when she needed one of his file notes but couldn't read what he wrote. A sob caught in her throat at the memories of their intense partnership began to assault her. Elliot's words became blurry as tears filled her eyes. Frustrated, she wiped her nose and took a deep breath. Olivia Benson does not cry. At least, not over Elliot, not anymore. She was through crying over him, or so she thought. She dabbed a tissue to her eyes and began to read.

**A/N: What will Elliot have to say? Will Olivia tell him where to go or will she let him back into her life? Maybe both! Read on to find out! I welcome your reviews! MM (MyMeloni)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC owns the characters and SVU episodes. This story is mine.**

Chapter 2 "The Letter"

** Olivia Benson's apartment**

**Late evening, Friday, October 19, 2012**

**_. . . She dabbed a tissue to her eyes and began to read._**

_"Liv,_

_You're probably wondering how I carry around the balls it takes for me to write you after all this time, after the way I left SVU . . . after the way I left you, my partner, my best friend. If the tables were turned, I'd be wondering the same thing. Hell, I'd probably even punch you. I'm sure if I had just shown up on your doorstep that you'd do that or kick me in my king-sized balls, so that's one reason I'm writing instead._

_Before I go on, Liv, I just ask that you hear me out. If you want to burn this letter and never speak to me again, fine, I'll understand. Actually, no, I won't, but I'll get over it . . . eventually. But I hope you won't do that. I hope that after you read what I have to say, you'll forgive me and maybe even let me back into your life. But even if you don't, there are some things I have got to say, things I need you to know so we can both move on or—I hope—move forward. (I will try to keep this as short as I can. I know how much you hate trying to decipher my handwriting!)"_

Olivia couldn't suppress a laugh, which was immediately followed by a small sob. He knew her so well, and that killed her. Since he knew her so well, how could he have left her like that? Surely he knew how his radio silence nearly destroyed her. When she needed him the most, he didn't have her back. Hadn't he said they were partners for better or for worse? On the other hand, she felt like she had no right to have fallen apart. After all, it wasn't like they had been married. She wasn't his wife; Kathy was.

"Speaking of his wife," Olivia mumbled as she read the next few words, then her eyes widened.

_"You're probably wondering about Kathy. She and I are divorced. It was final about six months ago. Since we already had papers drawn up and signed, all we had to do was adjust a few things and it was over rather quickly. When I turned in my papers, Kathy was happy. She thought she'd finally have all of me. How could she be happy? Didn't she know how much SVU meant to me? Didn't she understand that the circumstances of me leaving couldn't have been any shittier? Anyway, she soon found out she didn't have but a piece of me, same as always, and that pissed her off. She couldn't understand why I still wouldn't talk about the job, about what shooting that girl did to me, about how I was still **so** angry. There were other reasons, but the final straw for her was when she found out how I mortgaged the house to bail you out. In her mind, that just confirmed her suspicions about you and me, even though you and I both know the truth. And the truth is, Liv, there were times when I wished her accusations were legitimate. But I'm getting ahead of myself. You know the older kids are grown up and moved out or in college, so it was pretty much just Kathy and Eli who left. They're living in Jersey near her sister. Last I heard, she was dating some doctor at the hospital she works at._

_I don't want to write about Kathy, but I had to tell you that much. I gotta be honest with you. I may not have kept in touch, but I have thought about you daily. I've followed the 1-6 in the news. I heard about Hector Rodriguez. I know how much you wanted to find that boy alive and take him back to his mother. Liv, I know you're blaming yourself. You can't do that. You don't get to pick the vic, remember?_

_Liv, in a few days I'm gonna be 46. I was in SVU for over 17 years, 12 of them with you. We saw so much depravity and all the evil things people can do to each other. Because we know how bad it can get, you and I both know how short and therefore precious life is, and I don't want to waste any more of it. There's something I have to tell you, but first you gotta know how killing that girl ripped me apart but not as much as walking out on the only two things I ever really had: the job . . . and you."_

Olivia couldn't stop the tears that now fell in a torrent down her face and into her lap. She thought she had run out of tears a year and a half ago, but she was wrong. Elliot Stabler still had the power to move her in ways no one else ever had. As hard as she fought it, no one had such sway over her emotions. Her mind went back to that painful year when they realized just how close they'd become and how much they meant to one another. That year could be summed up in one word: Gitano. The case where they both chose each other over the victim, over the job. The case after which he told her that she and the job were all he had and how he couldn't take it if he wrecked that.

Olivia gasped as a realization hit her. She'd of course known how much it had hurt her to hear him say that. Even then she had gotten the message: As long as they worked in SVU, they could never be more than partners. After Kathy left him, she had dared to hope there might be a chance for something more, but that hope was dashed with his words. She couldn't do that to him. She couldn't be the reason for his making choices that would ultimately destroy his marriage or his livelihood, his mission in life, and yet she could not remain so close to him and know nothing could happen. So she bolted, first to Computer Crimes and then to Oregon. Still, as much as the Gitano case had torn her world apart, she could now understand just what leaving SVU had done to Elliot. At least, she was beginning to understand. She wanted to hear it from him, so after fixing a cup of tea, she continued reading.

_"Liv, you gotta know I feel like the world's biggest prick for how I treated you. You didn't deserve that. You don't deserve that; I pray to God you know that. Olivia, please forgive me. Hurting you, abandoning you . . . there's no excuse for what I did. All I can say is that I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't handle that I'd failed and proven my father right. I failed my family when I walked out on the job that supported them. I failed Sister Peg. I failed Jenna. Liv, I took a life. I saw the headlines. I was a killer cop. On top of all that, I failed **you**. I know you weren't shot, but what if it had been you instead of Sister Peg? I'm sorry she died, but oh God, Liv, if it had been you . . . I had to walk away because I failed you. It became clear to me I could not protect you. So, like a coward I left so I wouldn't have to face losing you, especially losing you because I fucked up. That's why I was so mad at you after Gitano sliced you. That's why I pushed you away. I wanted to blame you for letting him get too close to you and for him killing Ryan, because you couldn't protect yourself. Truth is, I was mad at myself because I couldn't protect you. First Gitano, then Rojas, and finally Jenna Fox. That realization broke me. I was done. I had to get away, yes, even away from you. I had wrecked everything, and like I told you in that hospital room after Gitano, I couldn't take it._

_Liv, I was broken. I had nothing to offer anyone. I had to lose everything to find what is most important to me. I thought I knew, but when the job and family were gone, I had to reevaluate. I did find out what is the most important to me, but first I had to put myself back together. I think I'm there, Liv, and now I have to put everything right. I have to make things right with you, or at least try. But that's not all, Liv. I don't want things to be like they were before. With all that we've been through, especially in the last 18 months, and both of us getting older, what we had before just isn't enough. I want more. Liv, I want **you**. What I'm trying to say is I love you, Olivia Marie Benson."_

Olivia's hands shook so much she could no longer hold the letter. Not that she was able to read another word at the moment. She jumped off the couch and began to pace her tiny living room. He _loved_ her? Bringing her arms up beside her head, she tried to grasp his words. "Elliot Stabler did not just tell me that he loves me. Oh no, he didn't," she thought. Suddenly her nerves and the vodka got the best of her and she ran to the bathroom and emptied her stomach. "Oh, Elliot would just be so thrilled to know my first reaction to his profession of love was to VOMIT," she said aloud as she threw her hands up in the air.

Slightly calmer, she returned to the couch and the letter she was now afraid to continue reading. For a second she almost believed it'd burn her fingers if she picked it back up. It certainly had done a number on her heart! Olivia wasn't quite sure what to do next. Her longest-held fantasy had finally come true, now a year and a half after she'd given up all hope it ever would. She'd worked damn hard to patch herself up, and now with three little words the man she'd come to love more than anyone had ripped the Band-Aid off. And she was fresh out of new ones.

Sighing heavily, she leaned into the back of her couch, staring at the ceiling. He loved her. He LOVED her. After all these years, he finally said it. This wasn't how she had imagined he'd tell her, but then, all her experience as a cop told her that anything could happen and it usually did.

Olivia shook her head and let out a dry chuckle. Fourteen years. Fourteen fucking years she'd waited to hear him say that. She didn't know if he felt that way during their entire partnership—although sensed that he felt _something_— but she knew how she felt. For 14 long years she'd loved a man she couldn't have. For 14 long years she'd become an expert at burying those feelings and avoiding any situation that would make them surface. Now, thanks to Elliot's surprise admission, her emotions were exploding and there was no ignoring them. There was no use in trying, Olivia realized with another heavy sigh.

So now what, she wondered. Elliot was right; she did want to kick him in the balls, especially now. She knew he'd let her, too, and he certainly deserved it, but she also understood the satisfaction would be only temporary and it wouldn't do anything to simplify their oh-so-complicated relationship. She knew she had to face this head-on. She was, after all, Bad Ass Benson. Time to put on her big girl panties and deal with the shit storm that was hers and Elliot's relationship. First, though, she wanted to read the rest of his letter. She knew that admission had not come easily to Elliot, and she owed him at least the courtesy of hearing him out completely. She was just a little bit afraid, though, of how he could possibly top, "I love you."

_"Are you calm now? Don't forget who this is, Liv. I know you. I know that wasn't easy for you to hear, just as it wasn't a cakewalk for me to say! But I had to say it. I had—have to tell you how I feel. Please, Liv, I don't want to say everything I need to tell you in a letter. I know I don't deserve it and I've probably scared you shitless and you're packing right now for Oregon. Can't say as I'd blame you, but please, please give me a chance. You know me. I'm begging here, and I don't beg! If you're not ready to meet me, can we at least talk on the phone? I've enclosed my new phone number and new address. Well, new to you. I'm still in the city; maybe you can come see my apartment. Liv, again, I'm more sorry than you'll ever know for hurting you. I don't deserve your forgiveness or friendship, let alone your love, but I was there for our 12 years. I believe you once had feelings for me. I just pray that you still do or that you can find it in your heart to love me again. I always planned to find a way back to you, Olivia. That's why I sent you the medallion. I said it before, and I still mean it: I will **always** have your back._

_Love,_

_El_

_Semper Fi_

Olivia didn't know how long she held the letter, and she lost track of how many times she reread it. She also didn't know when the silent tears started. In a daze, she glanced at her phone to check the time. October 20, 12:14 a.m. Elliot's birthday. She gave a wry smile as she thought back on his birthdays over the years and how most of them were eventful, to say the least. Apparently this one wasn't going to be any less memorable! There was one in particular she wanted to talk to him about, but that'd have to wait. For now, she knew what she would do. She was going to write him back, but there was something else she wanted to do first.

Grabbing her phone again, she opened her text messaging program. After checking with the letter to make sure she entered everything correctly, she hit "save contact" then tapped out a message: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EL. KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR MAILBOX. ~ LIV."

**A/N: How will El react to Liv's text? What will Liv say to El? Stay tuned to find out, and don't forget to review as you wait! MM **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 "The Reply, Part One"

**Elliot Stabler's apartment**

**12:22 a.m., Saturday, October 20, 2012**

Judging by the time, Elliot had been staring at his phone for a full five minutes. And going by the puddle of drool on his chin, his mouth had been hanging open the whole time. He had not expected to hear from Olivia so quickly, let alone get a birthday greeting from her. Granted, he was a little disappointed she had not called, and he had even secretly hoped (prayed) that she would even make a surprise visit after she got his letter. Still, he was elated to hear from her and could not wait to receive whatever she was going to mail him, unless of course it was a letter bomb. He knew he deserved it. It was a good sign, though, that she had texted him, and he was pleased she had remembered him on his birthday. He just wished she were there with him and in his arms, but the new Elliot Stabler had more patience than the one who walked out of the 1-6 a year and a half ago. If he let Olivia call the shots as to how fast or slow to proceed in their relationship , he was confident he would be holding her and more in the near future. "Not soon enough," the old Elliot piped up.

Elliot got up from his bed, where he'd been reading when Olivia's text chimed, and stretched his muscular body. He couldn't wait for her to see his new, more toned shape . . . and to admire it with more than just those large brown eyes that always rendered him into goo whenever she batted them at him. He knew she had secretly—she thought—perused his body many a time during their partnership. He was a detective, after all, and to be honest he had done his fair share of ogling every inch of her curves, particularly her backside. Even Fin had caught him staring, so he was pretty sure Olivia was aware of it.

Patting his well-defined six-pack, he grinned his characteristic Stabler smirk and headed to the kitchen to grab a beer. He had planned to make it an early night because his kids were coming over in the morning for a late brunch to celebrate his birthday, but now he was too excited to sleep. He plopped down on the couch and flipped through the channels until he found a sports station, but he was soon daydreaming about hearing from Olivia and what would hopefully soon be their first meeting in nearly 2 years, their first meeting no longer as partners but as friends and, Elliot hoped, lovers. He knew he had taken a huge risk telling Olivia that he loved her and that it could quite possibly induce the opposite reaction he anticipated, but he was done playing it safe, at least as far as she was concerned. He knew with all his heart that he loved her and wanted to be her partner forever, her partner in life, and he'd be damned if he wasted another day not going after what he wanted. Though he was more of a risk taker now—he chuckled thinking of what her reaction would be when she saw his motorcycle—he couldn't risk losing her, whether it be to another man or to getting injured or, God forbid, killed in the line of duty. So that's why he had decided to lay it all on the line, praying that she would open her heart to him again and love him back the way he suspected she did. He would wait as long as it took to win her heart back, but God knew how much he had prayed that she would come around sooner than later. All he could do now was wait for her letter. The next several days were going to severely test the new Elliot's patience.

* * *

**Olivia Benson's apartment**

**Saturday morning, October 20, 2012**

It was a long night for Olivia. After sending the text to Elliot, she reread his letter, especially his profession of love. When she finally went to bed, she tossed and turned, unable to keep her memories and emotions at bay. She knew she loved Elliot, but she wasn't as ready to throw that out there to him. What if he hurt her again? She didn't think her fragile heart could take it. In all honesty, she was finally starting to find her rhythm again and a new sense of who she was as an SVU detective and as a woman. She had at last come to see herself as Benson, not Benson and Stabler but Detective Olivia Benson, a damn good cop and advocate for sex crime victims, no matter who her partner was.

As she drank her morning cup of tea, she stared out her living room window and gave a dry laugh as she thought about how hard it had been for her to accept new partners. She'd also clashed with the ADAs, and Cragen had eventually had to practically order her to start working together with her colleagues or face the consequences. Basically, everyone had told her to buck up and get over it; Elliot was gone and he wasn't coming back. She had finally accepted that and began cooperating with Amaro and Rollins and even finding a rapport with them. She had dared to date and, yes, even to love. Even though it had not worked out with David Haden or Brian Cassidy, she had at last begun to feel like she could truly let Elliot go and accept that they were never going to be together. Then she got that letter.

Olivia had every intention of writing him back, but she still wasn't sure what to say. Rather, she wasn't sure _how_ to say what she needed to say. Despite the passage of time and its healing balm on her wounds, she wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily for leaving her like he did. She had no clue how to go about letting go of her hurt and telling him how she felt about him. Though she had had many dates and lovers over the years, she was by no means an expert in relationships, especially long-term ones. On the other hand, as Elliot once told her, he was the longest relationship she'd ever had with a man, so telling him she was in love with him too—in love with him _still_—should be easy. Shouldn't it?

Frustrated, Olivia shook her head and tossed her teacup in the sink. The letter writing would have to wait. First she had to pay someone a visit . . . .

* * *

**Mrs. Henderson's apartment**

**Saturday afternoon, October 20, 2012**

It took Mrs. Henderson a long time to answer her door. At least that's how it seemed to Olivia, who was fidgeting on the other side. Granted, her longtime neighbor _was_ 85 years old and parts didn't move as quickly as they used to. Finally, a frail voice called out, "Olive, is that you, dear?" Chains and locks began to rattle.

Olivia chuckled. No matter how many times she corrected her one-half-deaf, the-other-half-senile neighbor, Mrs. Henderson always called her "Olive." One time Elliot had heard the old lady's misnomer, and for the longest time he never let her forget it. He even went so far as to show up at the squad room one day with a sailor hat, corn cob pipe, and can of spinach and ask "Olive" to be his "goyle." She just about smacked him then and there. Every so often he would imitate Popeye's laugh and call her "Olive."

The door slowly creaked open. Mrs. Henderson beamed when she realized her weak eyes had not played tricks on her and it was indeed Olivia. "Olive, my dear! So good to see you, sweetie. Won't you come in? I made some sugar cookies."

Olivia had to stifle a cough. The last time she ate one of Mrs. Henderson's "cookies," she almost didn't make it to her bathroom to retch. At least today she had an excuse not to linger; she was anxious to get started on her letter to Elliot.

"Um, no thank you, Mrs. H. I appreciate it. I just came by to pick up my mail and door keys." She paused, running her hand through her hair before absently slipping it into her pocket and fingering Elliot's Semper Fi medallion that she always kept with her. "I was wondering, while I was gone, did you see anyone at my door?"

Mrs. Henderson leaned forward, cupping her hand to her right ear. "Eh? What's that, dear? You'll have to speak up; I haven't got my hearing aids in."

Olivia cleared her throat. "I said, did anyone come by my apartment while I was gone? Did you see a man drop something off at my door?" The suspense was killing her, and if Mrs. Henderson made her repeat herself again, Olivia was going to lose it.

"A man? Ohhhh, yes, Olive! A few days ago, right after I finished my lunch, I went to check the mail. When I came back, there was a nice young man at your door." Mrs. Henderson smiled as she grabbed Olivia's hand and patted it.

Ignoring it, Olivia pressed the older lady. "What did he look like? What day was this, do you remember?"

"Yes, yes, I remember," her neighbor replied, nodding so profusely her glasses nearly fell off. "It was Wednesday. I remember because I had spaghetti and meatballs for lunch. I always have spaghetti and meatballs on Wednesdays. It wasn't Thursday; that's chicken pot—"

Mrs. Henderson's menu description was interrupted by an increasingly impatient Olivia. "That's great, Agnes," she curtly replied, tucking her hair behind her ear. "The man, was he about this tall" (she held her hand a couple inches higher than her head), "dark hair, muscular?"

If she was perturbed by Olivia's interrupting and briskness, Agnes didn't show it. "Oh yes, Olive! That's the one. Oh, such a handsome fellow! Very nice young man. He talked to me while I took the mail into your apartment, and he even ate some of my cookies. Nice young man, yes. Oh and he smelled so good! Like a walk in the forest after a rain. Handsome, that one. If I weren't 85, I would . . . ."

"Olive" had heard more than she wanted to hear already; she wouldn't need Agnes' sugar cookies to make her sick if the old lady finished that thought about "nice, handsome, young" Elliot. "Thank you, Mrs. H. That's what I needed to know. Thank you again for getting my mail. I gotta go. Thanks again. I owe you."

Before the elderly woman even realized what had happened, Olivia was back inside her apartment. After a moment, she shook her head and went to her own apartment, muttering something about showing some young buck a new thing or two.

Olivia leaned against her door and breathed a huge sigh of relief. She had a lot of patience, at least with victims, but Mrs. Henderson tested her limits. Still, she lived right across the hall and she never expected anything in return for her deeds, so perhaps she'd been a little harsh. However, there was no way she was going to whittle another half-hour from her day to go and apologize to Mrs. Henderson.

Tossing her keys in their usual spot, Olivia thought back to her neighbor's words. Elliot had talked to her while she took the mail inside Olivia's apartment. He had come inside? The thought made Olivia's head swim and her heart flutter. She stood in her kitchen, wondering if this is where _he_ had stood while Mrs. Henderson arranged her mail on the counter. Though she knew it was just wishful thinking, she inhaled deeply, trying to breathe in his woodsy, clean scent. She had always loved the way he smelled and often accidentally-on-purpose invaded his personal space just to get a whiff.

It was official. She was definitely still in love with Elliot. Now, how to tell him?

**A/N: Gotcha! Liv's reply is in the next chapter. Actually, I had fully intended to write it here, but I switched gears a little. I know things are moving slowly right now. Bear with me; they will pick up. Surprises ahead. Thanks so much for your kind reviews! They keep me going! MM**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 "The Reply, Part Two"

**A/N: Don't worry, there WILL be Liv-to-El contact in this chapter, but it's going a different way than I had planned. I hope you like it. Keep those awesome reviews coming! MM**

* * *

**Olivia Benson's apartment**

**Saturday evening, October 20, 2012**

The pen landed in her kitchen sink, Olivia had thrown it with such force. She screamed in frustration again, leaning her head on her hand, staring at the mostly blank paper on her lap. She had been attempting for over two hours to begin her letter to Elliot, and all she had managed in that time was "El." She was never very good at writing or at opening up and sharing her feelings, and here she was trying to do both. But it's Elliot, she thought. It shouldn't be this hard. Then again, that's precisely why it was so difficult. For their entire partnership, they'd been very careful to avoid expressing their feelings, at least for each other. Then it'd be real. Then they'd have to do something about it. Like she told him in the locker room after his fight with Lucius Blaine, "it's just too complicated." Nothing about her and El was simple.

Sighing, she tossed the notebook on the coffee table, uncurled her legs from under her, stood up, and stretched. She wondered what Elliot was doing right then and how he was celebrating his birthday. Probably with his kids, she mused. One thing someone quickly learned about Elliot was that his kids were his life. He was fiercely protective of them. Who could blame him, given all the heartbreaking child victims come through the doors of SVU? No one could blame him, either, for wanting to shield his family from that and refusing to talk about his job at home. No one but Kathy, anyway. Olivia wondered how Kathy had been able to stay as long as she had, given how Elliot's job was such an integral part of his life and who he was, a part she never really got to see. As a result, she never could never fully know or understand her own husband.

Kathy was right about one thing, Olivia thought as she poured herself another glass of wine. She _had_ spent more time with Elliot than Kathy had. Olivia got to see the parts of him that Kathy couldn't. Of course, that came with the price tag of seeing those horrors firsthand. But it was true: She knew things about Elliot Kathy didn't. She was able to share that part of his life; she understood him that way. In a way Olivia didn't blame Kathy for being jealous about that, but it wasn't something she could help or did on purpose. It was just the nature of the beast that was their job as a sex crimes detective. You had to understand your partner and be able to rely on them to have your back. Getting close was inevitable. Acting on it, at least outside the realms of the job, was not inevitable and had not been an option.

Sipping her wine, Olivia wondered what would have happened if she and Elliot had acted on their closeness. They were closer than any other pairing in the NYPD. She knew how that almost cost them both their partnership and even their job, since fraternizing was strictly against department policy. She was thinking more about how they would have had to be split up or find other jobs, something neither of them could fathom. But that wasn't the case now; they no longer worked together and now had a chance to act on their feelings. And that scared Olivia shitless. Hence the reason she had only been able to write "El" in two hours of trying to write him a letter.

"Fuck it," she spat. "I gotta get out of here. I can't do this right now." She grabbed her jacket, badge, and gun and headed out the door.

* * *

**Manhattan Special Victims Unit, 16****th**** precinct**

**Saturday afternoon, October 20, 2012**

When Olivia arrived in the bullpen, she was surprised to find it unusually quiet. Figures, she huffed; I take a few days off and that's when things are quiet. Plopping down at her desk, she perused the stacks of papers and files. As she gathered up the phone messages and paperwork she intended to take home, she heard a male voice behind her clear his throat.

"Liv! We weren't expecting you back until Monday. Cragen call you in on this case?" Fin came over and stood by her desk.

Olivia smiled broadly at her longtime colleague. "Hey Fin. No, I'm just here getting some paperwork. What'd you catch?" She placed the files in the middle of her desk and set her badge on top of them. Standing up and facing Fin, she put her hands in her pockets.

Fin chuckled and slapped her on the shoulder. "You just couldn't stay away from us, could ya, Liv? Got a rape-homicide, a pro in East Village. Amaro and Rollins are out chasing down a lead. I came in to grab a file on a case with a similar MO." His eyes softened and his voice lowered. "How you doin', girl? Did getting away for a few days help? You done beating yourself up over the Hector Rodriguez case?" He lowered his head and caught her gaze again when she lowered her eyes, refusing to let her avoid the question.

Olivia sighed, her shoulders slumping. "No, it didn't help much." She ran a hand through her wavy locks, debating on her next move, then placed her index finger to her lips, absently biting it.

Fin sensed Olivia had something on her mind, but he knew better than to ask too many questions. If she wasn't ready to talk, Olivia wasn't going to talk. Even though he'd been there, she still wouldn't even talk to him about Sealview. Still, he wanted to show he was listening if she wanted to talk, so he gently ran his hand up her arm.

"Fin, can I ask you something? I . . . . I," she stammered. She looked down at the floor again.

This time Fin took her chin and lifted her face until they were eye to eye. "Liv, what is it?" he said softly.

Tears filled Olivia's chocolate-colored eyes, which she angrily wiped away. Fin waited for her to speak. Finally, Olivia uttered two words. She said them so quietly that it took Fin a moment to register them. When he did, he took a step back and his eyes widened.

"What about Elliot?" he asked.

Fin guided Olivia to her chair and gently pushed her so she sat down before seating himself on the edge of her desk. "Talk to me."

Sniffling, Olivia told him about the letter and her vain attempt to respond. Fin nodded at the appropriate spots and rubbed her nearest shoulder occasionally. He listened without interrupting, but he was by no means passive. In fact, he bristled inside. Although he and Elliot had made amends and were on friendly terms when Elliot left, Fin was pissed at him for how he treated Olivia. It had torn him up to see her so affected, so . . . broken. He was damned if he was going to let that happen again, but he wanted to hear Olivia out. When she seemed to be finished, he slid off her desk and crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in his.

"Girl, I'm gonna be blunt with you. You know Stabler and I had our beefs in the past, but we were cool when he left. But when he just walked out of here, he didn't just turn his back on the 1-6. He turned his back on you, his _partner_. You just don't do that, not without saying somethin'. You know we talked about this and I ain't sayin' this to hurt you, but do you really wanna go through all that shit again?"

"Fin," Olivia protested, "he's no longer my partner. This is different. I—I love him."

Fin softened. "Yeah, I know you do."

"You do?"

"Girl, _everyone_ knew. Fact, we all had pools on when you two would hook up," he said with a small chuckle. He placed his hand on her shoulder and his tone became more serious. "So you love him, and he said he loves you. You know it won't be easy."

Olivia scoffed. "That's an understatement! Still, it'll be different. He's divorced, we're no longer partners. Maybe . . . . "

"Maybe it's time? Maybe it'll work out? It might, and for Stabler's sake, I hope it does." Fin drew Olivia into a hug. "Liv, if this is what you want, then I'm all for it. But if he hurts you, man, he better . . . . " Fin didn't have to finish his statement.

Olivia patted Fin's chest before pulling away. "I know, I know. You've got my back too, Fin. You always have. I'm still so mad at him, though, for leaving like that, for not _talking to me!_ I don't know; maybe he thought I'd talk him out of it." She snorted. "He'd have been right about that." She sighed. "What should I do, Fin? How do I tell him I hate him _and_ I love him?"

Fin tilted his head and scowled slightly. "I don't know, Liv. You two have always had a connection none of us could decode. It's you and El, girl. You'll figure it out. Alls I can say is, if you really love him and he's truly free and ready to be what you need, then I say go for it. I ain't gotta like it, not until I'm sure it's legit, but if it's what makes you happy, I'll be happy."

A rare vision appeared, slowly: a broad smile on Olivia's face. Fin's heart skipped a beat. Liv didn't smile often, but when she did, it was a sight to behold. The fact that it was directed at him made it worth all the more to him.

Olivia threw her arms around Fin's neck, momentarily surprising him. She was full of surprises today. Maybe Stabler _was_ a good thing for Liv, if this is how she'd be acting! Knowing he could get away with it, he pressed a small kiss to the side of her head. "I _am_ happy for you, Liv. For both of you," he said in a low voice.

Olivia pulled back slightly, framing one side of his face with her hand. Her eyes were still shining, but this time she was smiling. "Thank you, Fin. That means a lot to me. He _is_ what I want. I don't think I could be without him. I love him; he's my other half. He's my life, my rock."*******

**"**_That's_ what you should tell him," Fin said, looking steadily in her eyes for a moment before letting her go.

There was a slightly awkward silence, then Fin raised the folder. "I better go or Amaro will send out a search party. See you Monday, Liv. Let me know how it goes with Stabler."

Olivia nodded and gave a small wave, the other hand in her pocket. "I will. Oh, and Fin, if you could keep this to yourself . . . ."

Fin nodded in understanding. "You got it, girl. My lips are sealed. See ya," he said and headed out the door.

Grabbing her badge and the paperwork, Olivia headed out the other door to the squad room, feeling better than when she arrived. As she pondered her next move with Elliot, she was unaware that she was humming. The man watching her, however, heard it and smiled to himself. Captain Cragen was happy to see Olivia in a good mood and knew this bode well for Elliot.

* * *

**Elliot Stabler's apartment**

**Saturday evening, October 20, 2012**

Elliot had had a good day with his kids. Maureen had fixed his favorite meal (Irish stew), and Lizzie had made a cake. They played cards and chatted with him afterwards, leaving in the early evening. He wished for more times like this, but as they got older, it was harder and harder to get them all together. He hated the loneliness that crept over him whenever they left.

He had settled into watching a Jets game when he heard his phone beep, signaling a text message. Thinking it was one of the kids, he didn't check it right away; the Jets were behind and had the ball with time running low. When they scored and won the game, he let out a whoop. It wasn't until after he took his empty beer bottles to the kitchen that he remembered he had received a text. Checking his phone as he went, he nearly dropped the bottles in his shock. It was from Liv!

**_U dont just walk away frm someone u said u'd give a kidney to. How was ur bday?_**

As with her first text, Elliot stared at his phone in disbelief for several minutes. He hadn't expected to hear anything from her until at least Tuesday or Wednesday in the form of a letter in his mailbox. Two texts in one day. Could she . . . ? Did she . . . . ? Maybe God was answering his birthday gift request after all.

**_Liv Im so so sorry. Will u 4give me? My bday is looking up. J_**

Elliot didn't receive a reply for several minutes and for a moment feared she wasn't going to respond. Finally, 10 minutes later:

**Ur still a son of a bitch 4 walking out of my life but I 4give u**.

Elliot breathed out heavily. He supposed he deserved that. Still, she _did_ say she forgave him, so he thought he'd press his luck:

**_Its still my bday, u know. Wanna come over & celebrate the rest of it w/me?_**

This time her reply was quicker:

**_Im sorry, El. Im just not ready 4 that yet. Can we just text 4 awhile?_**

Though he had known she would turn down his invitation, he had to admit he was disappointed. Not wanting to disrespect her wishes, he tapped out a reply:

**_I understand. Sure, Id like that. Thought u were gonna write me a letter?_**

They texted back and forth for the next two hours. Though it drove Elliot crazy trying to use the virtual keypad on his fairly new (meaning, last Christmas) smartphone, he was willing to do anything to keep Olivia communicating with him. She explained how she'd rather say some things in person but wasn't quite ready. She asked him about his job. He told her about his teaching position at the police academy, to which she had quipped, "Just what the world needs, another Detective Elliot Stabler." His breath hitched when he read that. Although he knew why she said it, it was a painful reminder of his current situation, something he wanted to tell her about in person. The first time she said it was when he had told her Kathy wanted to name their son, whom Olivia had basically delivered, Elliot Jr. He tried not to think too much of Eli nor how far away he was. He asked about SVU, the new detectives, and Captain Cragen. She told him about each one and what she thought of them . He asked who their ADA was, and she told him about Barba and his extreme but effective antics in the courtroom during the Paley case when he got Adam Cain to tighten the belt around his neck. She also filled him in on some of their more recent cases.

It was nearing midnight. The old Elliot couldn't resist one more attempt to see the love of his life on his birthday:

**_My bday is almost over. Sure u cant come see me? Pllllls?_**

Her reply was rapid:

**_Im sure. Just be happy u got this much. But maybe I can find us a happy medium…_**

"Happy medium?" he said as he furrowed his brow. He was still staring at the message when his phone began to ring. Recognizing the number, his heart caught in his throat. "He—hello?"

"Happy birthday, El," Liv said softly.

* * *

**A/N: Bet you weren't expecting that any more than El was! What's in store for our favorite couple? Keep reading, and as always, thanks for your reviews.**

*****This is based on a quote from Mariska herself describing what Elliot means to Olivia. She also had added "her husband . . . her man," but I didn't think that fit in the story—yet!**

**Props to Kayla/OneLifetoRock for the content of Liv's first text message in this chapter! MM**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 "The Phone Call, Part One"

Elliot's heart was pounding so fast and so hard, he was sure Olivia could hear it over the phone. He squeezed his eyes shut, savoring the sound of her voice and picturing the beautiful face he had never stopped dreaming about ever since that fateful day.

"Liv. It's so good to hear your voice," he finally croaked out. He got up from his bed, where he'd settled during their texting, and began to pace around his bedroom. He ran a hand over his face, not quite sure what to say next even though he'd rehearsed his first conversation with her so many times he lost count.

"It's good to hear yours too, El. Been a long time," Olivia quipped.

He smiled. He knew she wasn't stating a fact but instead was sharing her hurt. He would accept responsibility; he would do anything to take away the pain he had caused her. "Too long, Liv. Too long. I have missed you so much." His voice was husky with emotion.

There was a long pause on her end, but he could hear her breathing. He wasn't sure, but he thought he even heard a sniffle or two. He wasn't going to push her. The last thing he wanted to do, now that he had her talking, was scare her off.

His patience paid off.

"El, I missed you too. So much. You . . . you _bastard_. How could you? WHY didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you answer my calls or texts?"

Elliot hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew it'd do no good to be logical and remind her that he had explained all this in his letter. He did learn a few things in his over 20 years of marriage, one of them being knowing when to just listen and let her unload without getting defensive and without correcting her. He had put Olivia through hell, and he knew it'd take a while for her to sort through the baggage even though she said she forgave him.

"Liv, you didn't deserve that. I am so sorry. I intend to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will **never** leave you like that again. I promise you that, Olivia."

This time her sniffles were obvious. "But I never expected you to leave before! We were partners; I would have had your back after Jenna, but you turned it on me. I could have been there for you."

Elliot nodded. It wouldn't do any good to tell her it was something he had to do on his own. He needed to hear her out and reassure her that he understood. "I know. I know. You're right. You were always there for me, Liv."

"That's what partners do, El. And best friends. Even if you couldn't let me be your partner, you could have let me be your friend. That killed me, Elliot." Olivia blew her nose, no longer caring if he knew she was crying, something the old Olivia avoided like the plague. Their time apart had indelibly changed both of them.

Elliot wished more than anything he could wrap his arms around her and comfort her even though he was the reason for her tears. He wanted to hold her and rock her gently until the tears were dry and whisper to her that he'd never cause her to cry like that again.

He had to clear his throat before he could speak. "I know, baby. I know. It killed me too. Being away from you was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It was you, though, who pulled me through."

Olivia was shocked and confused. "How? We didn't see each other or talk in all that time."

Elliot's voice became very low, his tone very serious. "Like I said in the letter, I always planned to find my way back to you. I couldn't go to you the way I was, a broken, self-centered, foolish man who took the easy way out: staying in an unhealthy marriage instead of being a man and facing my feelings for you; leaving SVU the way I did. But the thought of seeing you again and being more than partners and best friends, that kept me going. _You_ kept me going, Liv. You always did. I never realized how much until you weren't in my life anymore."

Again Olivia was dumbfounded. Elliot Stabler never opened up like this. She loved it, though. Her heart beat a little faster thinking about how they could now show their feelings and act on them. ("Did he call me 'baby' earlier?" she thought to herself.) She realized, however, that this change was not entirely due to her. She knew precious little about his past—a fact she intended to remedy—but she did know Elliot would have required outside help for such an inner work on himself.

"El, can I ask you something?"

He grinned. Did she have to ask permission? "Of course."

"Did you go to counseling?"

Elliot had known this would come up eventually, not that he had intended to hide it. He was through holding things in and letting them fester. That much he had learned. He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. "Yes, I did. It was the counselor who helped me face what I tried so long to avoid: my feelings for you. She made me realize your role in my healing."

Olivia couldn't let that pass. "She?"

Nothing gets by a detective, Elliot thought. "Yeah. Rebecca Hendrix." He paused, waiting for Olivia to explode. She had always resented that Hendrix had left the police academy to become a psychiatrist. She had also once accused him of being involved with Dr. Hendrix, telling him to "keep it out of work." He now realized she had been jealous, even though nothing had happened between them. In fact, Olivia wasn't aware that he had gone to talk to Dr. Hendrix after his fight with his former partner, Pete Breslin. He planned to tell her about it . . . someday.

But no explosion was forthcoming. "Oh, I see. I'm glad you talked to someone and that it helped," Olivia said calmly.

Momentarily thrown for a loop by a more mellow Liv than he was used to, Elliot didn't say anything for a while. He wondered if he was mistaken and her more relaxed attitude was actually resignation, as if the fire had gone out of her. Cragen had told him that Olivia was different, but he hadn't quite expected this. He remembered what the Captain had said about her being broken, especially when he commanded her to clean out Elliot's desk, and he felt horrible. He had caused that pain, that slump in her spirit. He prayed a quick prayer to God that he would be able to repair the damage he had caused and reassure Olivia that she would never be alone or face anything alone again.

"Semper fidelis," he suddenly spoke.

Olivia shook her head and wrinkled up her nose in confusion. "What?"

"I meant it, Liv. Always faithful. That is my promise to you from here on out. It is our new motto, okay?" Elliot prodded gently.

"Semper fidelis," Olivia repeated softly, fingering his Semper Fi medallion in her pocket.

"Do you still have the medallion I sent you?"

If he only knew, she thought. "Yes," she replied.

Her short response didn't escape his notice. He pressed further. "What did you do with it? And my mini badge?"

Olivia groaned silently. He wasn't going to let up, was he? "I sometimes wear the medallion, but most of the time I keep it in my pocket. I stuck the mini badge on the butt of my service revolver."

Elliot sat down on the edge of the bed. "You did? Wow. That's, that's really . . . sweet."

If he likes that, Olivia thought, he'll just love my tattoo. "Thanks. Thank you for sending them to me. They . . . helped."

Elliot smiled, realizing that was a huge admission for Olivia. She was opening up to him, slowly but surely. He sensed, though, that she still had some things to get off her chest.

"El? EL?" Olivia was nearly shouting.

His head snapped up. He had been daydreaming about her chest. Good thing we're on the phone, he thought as his cheeks flushed.

"What? Yes, Love? I mean, Liv?" He winced, hoping he hadn't gone too far. To his surprise, if she was bothered by it, she didn't acknowledge it.

"I was asking you if you dated anyone while you and Kathy were separated and since your divorce?" Olivia spoke so quietly that he had to strain to hear her.

Elliot sucked in a deep breath and held it for several moments before slowly expelling it and running his hand over the back of his cropped hair. He had expected they would eventually talk about this, but he didn't think it'd be so soon. Truth be known, he'd rather discuss it face to face. He recalled when Kathy had asked him the same question the day Eli was born, the day he nearly lost the love of his life. He had admitted to having dates but didn't go into detail. He knew Olivia was also asking if he had slept with anyone and he knew why she was asking, what she was really asking. For the moment, he decided to keep it at the superficial level.

"Well, yeah. You know I went out with Courtney Williams from Immigration." Elliot gritted his teeth, remembering how awkward that had been for all of them when Courtney had wondered why she hadn't heard back from him. The look on Olivia's face . . . He mentally kicked himself then and did it again. He had been on other dates and gotten a little frisky on some, but he hadn't trusted himself to sleep with anyone. Given how apparently fertile he was, he was glad he hadn't.

There was a long pause on Olivia's part. "Did you and Dani . . . ?"

There it was. Since her return from Oregon, Olivia had been careful not to talk about Dani except to ask why she went back to Warrants. Olivia had always seemed jealous of her. Well, it hadn't helped that he had kept calling a victim Dani instead of Danielle, but at that time he wasn't about to admit his crush on Dani to Olivia. He was still upset with her for leaving him for Computer Crimes then Oregon. If she hadn't left, he reasoned, he wouldn't have been partnered with Dani and that whole mess wouldn't have happened. But that wasn't what she was asking. She seemed to know something. Did she? How?

Elliot sighed. "Did you and Porter . . . ?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He flopped back onto the bed.

Olivia's sharp intake of breath was unmistakable. "You son of a bitch. That's not fair! And you didn't answer the question." Had he heard Dean's implication that night they were setting him up and tracking his phone calls, the night Morales and Elliot hid in her bedroom? Had he heard her attempt to cut him off and not let him finish his sentence, "The last time I was here . . . "? It didn't matter. She wasn't ready to talk about Dean. He had hurt her badly, and Elliot knew that much. Besides, Elliot had been a jealous prick during that case. Matter of fact, he always seemed to be a jealous prick whenever she dated someone. The irony was he didn't seem to see how twisted that was, considering he was married and she couldn't have him.

"So?" Olivia prompted.

"Liv, why are you asking?" Elliott stalled.

Olivia bit her fingernails. She might as well go for broke. After all, if they were going to be in a relationship, what was the use of holding back, especially now that they were free to be together? She took a deep breath. "Because I saw you and Dani . . . I saw you _with_ her." There, she said it.

Elliot was shocked. How had she known? As far as he knew, Olivia had never even seen Dani. So he asked her.

"Ironically, it was on your birthday that year. I had come back from Oregon but wasn't ready to come back to work yet. I stopped by to talk to Cragen and I thought I'd give you your birthday present. I saw Dani sitting at, well, what _used_ to be my desk. I asked her if you were around, and she said you were in interrogation. She offered to take a message for you, but I told her to not even bother mentioning that I was there. While I was talking to the captain, I saw you enter the squad room and go over to her. You two looked so . . . friendly together."

Elliot was still in shock. He had had no idea that she had been back in town that early; she hadn't returned to work until the end of October. She had come to see him on his birthday? He was curious about something.

"You never gave me a present that year. What were you going to give me?" he asked.

Olivia groaned. She didn't want to tell him that she had planned to kiss him. But then she had seen him and Dani. So she lied. "Oh, I don't remember. I didn't keep it. Sorry."

Elliot knew she was lying through her teeth, but he didn't press the issue. He made a mental note to ask her about it later. "Well, I won't lie to you. We got . . . . close."

"How close?"

"Did she just sniffle again?" he wondered. "We, uh, we kissed that night." He felt like a heel.

"I know."

Elliot shot upright from his reclining position. "You knew? How?"

"Casey told me. When she left the bar that night, she saw you and Dani out by your Jeep and that you were kissing then you both appeared to get phone calls. El, if you hadn't gotten called right then, would you—I mean, would you and she have . . . slept together?"

Elliot reflected for a moment on how to answer that. Truth be known, he still wasn't sure if he would have gone through with it, although in all honesty he was very glad they didn't. Even at the end of that night, when he offered to give Dani a ride home, she rebuffed him, saying she needed to be alone. He sighed deeply. "I don't know, Liv. I don't think so. I mean, yeah, I wanted to, but to be honest, I'm glad we didn't."

"Why did you kiss her? What was it about her?" She was your partner, Olivia thought, but she wasn't ready to say that to him. To do so would mean to admit her jealousy.

If Liv was going to ask the hard questions, Elliot figured he may as well go for broke. "Yes, she was attractive. It was easy with her; we didn't have all the history. Honestly, Liv, it's because I was pissed off at you. I kept losing the women in my life. Kathy left and took the kids. Then you left. I guess in a twisted way I was trying to keep Dani from leaving too, even though I was never really wanting anything long term with her. I was upset, a little drunk, and yes, horny. She was too; she was missing her husband, who had been murdered. So I guess we were both just lonely and looking to fill some needs."

When he heard her crying, his face fell and tears filled his own eyes. He had avoided thinking about that awful year for so long, and now it all came flooding back. "Liv, please don't cry. She didn't mean anything to me. She wasn't _you_. She could never have taken your place," he said in a low, husky voice.

Olivia sniffled. "I never had a place with you, El. Not the place I wanted, anyway."

Elliot wasn't sure what she meant. "What do you mean? We were partners. You were—you _are_ my best friend."

"That's just what I mean. We were partners. I wanted more. When you and Kathy were separated, El, why didn't you kiss _me_?"

**A/N: What does Elliot say to that? When they meet for the first time, what will their encounter be like? All that in the next chapter! Thanks for the wonderful reviews! MM**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 "The Phone Call Continued and First Encounter"

Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose then glanced at his watch. 1:15 a.m. He really hadn't wanted to talk about this over the phone nor late at night. Still, he knew Olivia needed to talk about this now and wouldn't be able to move forward in their relationship until they did. He understood what she was asking.

He decided to be blunt; they had to lay it all out on the table now. "Liv, I wish I _had _kissed you instead of Dani. I wanted it to have been you instead. In a twisted way, I imagined it _was_ you, but you were gone, so Dani was a convenient stand-in. Do you know how many times I wanted to kiss you, to hold you, to make love to you? But I was married, and my faith required me to keep my promises."

He paused, letting his words register with her as he gathered his next thoughts. "Remember what I told you our first year as partners? How being in love doesn't justify an affair? Do you understand how it tore me up inside to be so close to you and not be able to tell you how I felt about you or to act on it?"

"Yes!" she shouted. "I do! I was there too, El. I felt the same way. But you were separated. Why didn't you do anything then? Yes, you were technically still married, but it didn't stop you from seeing other people or from kissing Dani!" Olivia hissed.

Elliot leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and slid his large hand over his eyes. She was right. He hadn't been entirely faithful to his vows. For that matter, neither had Kathy, but he wasn't going to tell Olivia that yet. He struggled with his reply.

"You're right," he sighed. "I don't blame you for being upset."

Olivia's demeanor softened. "I know your faith is important to you, El. That and your faithfulness to Kathy and your devotion to your family are things I always admired about you. Ironically, they were the same reasons I couldn't have you. But after the Sennett case, after you signed the papers, you were ready to move on. Why didn't you tell me about your feelings then?" she asked quietly.

"Liv, trust me, I wanted to. I was a selfish bastard, though. Once I saw what was at stake, I, I just had to reevaluate. I almost lost my family because of the job. And Liv . . . " His voice grew several levels lower. "Liv, if I had told you how I felt, I would have lost the job AND you."

Olivia was shocked. "Why do you think you would have lost me?"

"Because we would have been split up as partners and maybe one or both of us would have had to leave SVU. I couldn't be the cause of you losing the job you loved and were born to do. I knew eventually you would resent me for that. And what if things went bad between us? I couldn't take that; I had to hang on to the two things that actually worked in my life: the job and my partnership and friendship with you. I had to have that security. I _needed_ it. But Liv, I wanted you so much. There were countless nights where I came so close to saying, 'Fuck it all' and acting on my feelings for you."

Olivia gasped. She had always sensed he had deep feelings for her, but she had not realized he had gone through all this turmoil. She knew he was right, though; he had needed solid ground and she was glad he had not acted on his impulses.

"Oh El. I am so sorry. I never knew you struggled as much as I did. That's another reason I left. I had to get away; I could no longer handle being with you all the time, especially while you were separated, and still not be able to have you. But you were stronger than me. You could resist. I knew if I stayed around, I couldn't resist you. And I couldn't do that to you, ask you to go against your faith and _you_ end up hating _me_." Olivia paused to blow her nose. Fourteen years of pent-up feelings were taking their toll on her tear ducts.

"Olivia! I could never hate you. Don't ever say that. Don't ever believe it. You got that?" Elliot said sternly.

"I got it, El," she said with a small chuckle. "El?"

"Yes, baby?"

Her heart lept. She could get used to hearing that. "I lied earlier."

Though he knew what she was referring to, he played along. "About what?"

"Your birthday gift that year. I—I was going to kiss you," Olivia stammered, looking up at the ceiling, wondering if she was doing the right thing by telling him.

Elliot was dumbfounded. First she couldn't handle their complicated relationship and ran away, and now she was saying she had planned to kiss him? "You . . . you were?"

"Yeah," she replied softly. "El, when I was in Oregon, I missed you **so** much." With her index finger she slowly traced the tattoo she had gotten while she was undercover. "I even moaned your name over and over in my sleep, according to one of the tree huggers I got arrested with."

Though he was sad he never got his birthday gift that year, Elliot was secretly pleased to hear her subconscious had admitted her love for him. "You did, eh? Well, I'm impressed!" He laughed.

"You cocky bastard." She couldn't suppress another small chuckle. "Let me finish. As I was _saying_, while I was in Oregon and wasn't able to contact you, it made me realize I was fooling myself by trying to hide, literally. I _did _say 'Fuck it all' and decided when I got back that, come what may, I was going to kiss you." She grew quiet. "Then I saw you with Dani. And you were so distant with me for a long time. When we finally started getting back to the ol' Benson and Stabler, you dropped those bombs on me about moving back home and then Kathy being pregnant."

Once again, Elliot felt like a class A heel. He wondered how Olivia put up with him all those years. He checked his watch again and yawned; it'd been a long, emotional day. He wanted to keep Liv talking, but he was tired and needed to process all they'd said. He preferred to do any further air-clearing in person. He also wanted to see her very badly.

"Like I said, I was a selfish bastard. I can't change the past, but I can do better by you in the future. Look, we still have a lot to lose and this could still all go south. But I'm willing to risk that. I think the payoff will be worth it. Are you ready to give us a shot, Liv? We've waited long enough. Let's do this. We can do this . . . together."

Olivia let out a sob, but it was a happy, excited one. "Yes, El. I'm ready. Let's do this," she said, her voice breathy and shaky.

Elliot almost couldn't believe his ears. It was happening; _they _were happening. So Elliot took the only logical next step.

"Olivia Benson, will you go on a date with me tomorrow night?"

"It's about time you asked, Stabler! YES!"

* * *

**Olivia Benson's apartment**

**Sunday evening, October 21, 2012**

Olivia stared at the huge pile of clothes on her bed. There were more clothes on her bed than in her closet. "This is ridiculous," she muttered. "It's El. I'm not some giddy teen going on her first date ever."

Fifteen more outfit changes later, Olivia let out a small scream of exasperation. "Oh who am I kidding? I'm nervous as hell." She glanced at her alarm clock and panicked. Elliot was going to arrive in 20 minutes! She had no clue what he had planned; he refused to tell her. All he would say was to not wear a short, tight skirt or dress. At first she had been miffed that he dared tell her what to wear, but now she was intrigued. For a moment she considered wearing pants, but she wanted to give Elliot a taste of what he'd been missing all these years. She chose a shiny royal blue dress that came to just above her knees and had a deep V neckline. She smiled as she thought about his matching blue eyes roving her skin. She slipped on some strappy peep-toe shoes with a low heel; Elliot had said they might do a little walking. Olivia grabbed the wrap that matched the dress; the weather had been mild lately, but the nights were cool. She threw on a pair of dangling silver earrings and matching bracelet.

She was giving herself a once-over in the mirror and making sure each hair was in place, when the door buzzer sounded. Her heart stopped then began pounding furiously. Suddenly it was real to her: She was about to see Elliot for the first time in a year and a half, not as his partner, not as his best friend, but as his girlfriend.

**The other side of Olivia Benson's door**

Though he'd been at apartment 4D several times, never had Elliot been this nervous about it. As excited as he was to finally see Olivia, his usual confidence had momentarily left him. Aside from the few casual dates during his separation from Kathy, Elliot hadn't "courted" anyone in nearly three decades. In fact, he never had. He and Kathy had been so young when they met and married; they'd never had time or money to go on real dates. Hence, despite his 46 years, Elliot was suddenly feeling very inexperienced and anxious.

All his thoughts, irrational and otherwise, vacated his mind when she opened the door. Though he had always considered her a knockout, he had never seen a more beautiful vision than the one standing before him now. She always looked gorgeous, but this time it was for him. All he could do was stand there with his mouth agape, speechless.

Her full lips stretched into her trademark, though rarely seen, wide smile. "Whenever you're done catching flies, Stabler, you can come in," Olivia quipped as she stood to the side to make room for him.

Blushing, he smiled back and stepped inside. He still couldn't speak, so he offered her the bouquet of red roses he had brought for her. "God, she looks amazing, even better than I dreamed," he thought.

"God, he looks amazing, even better than I dreamed," Olivia thought as she took in her former partner/new boyfriend's appearance. Her eyes glazed over a bit; she could tell, even through his dress shirt and suit coat, that he was much more trim than when she last saw him. If at all possible, he looked even more handsome than she remembered. His charcoal gray suit was a little less formal than the ones he used to wear on the job but more suitable for a night out, and sure enough he was wearing a sky blue shirt and matching tie that highlighted his eyes.

Finally Elliot broke out of his reverie. He desperately wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her into oblivion, but he held himself in check. Though they had made tremendous progress the previous night, he didn't want to ruin things before they started by moving too quickly for her. She had waited so long for him, so he wanted to everything to be perfect for her. She deserved it. Still, he couldn't help it; he slid a large hand up her bare arm before pulling her tightly against his body. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips firmly to her cheek before resting the side of his head against hers. He kissed her hair on that side, smoothing his free hand through her hair on the other side. They swayed gently back and forth, holding each other tightly for several minutes.

Finally Elliot pulled back slightly so he could look at her. He almost wished he hadn't, for one look into her cocoa eyes and he was a goner. He had to do something with his mouth or he'd ravage her lips and ruin the moment, so he finally found his voice.

"Liv," he managed to whisper huskily, still caressing her hair and face. "God, it's good to see you. I missed you _so_ much." His steel blue eyes shone with all the love he had but could not yet express, not yet. He wanted them to say it in person for the first time when they were both ready. He had a feeling it'd be very soon.

Her lips twisted up into a closed-mouth smile, her own eyes shining. "I missed you too, El. You look great," she said, clinging to his lapels. _And smell great too, she thought_. She rested her forehead on his chin, where he quickly placed a kiss. Neither of them could move; neither wanted to. They'd waited 14 years for this moment, and they were going to savor it.

Several minutes later, it took all of Elliot's strength to break their embrace, but he slid his hands down her arms to enlace their fingers. He sniffed lightly and took a deep breath, gazing at her for a moment before smiling at her. Reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear, he told her they should get going. He let her go long enough for her to put the roses in a vase then helped her adjust her wrap across her shoulders. As he did so, he let his long fingers skim her collar bone and lower neck, seeing and feeling the goosebumps flash across her sensitive skin.

He stood behind her and leaned in so he could see her face. "You ready, Liv?" he said softly as he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

She turned into him, looking down shyly before slowly meeting his eyes. "I am. I think the better question is, are _you_?" she said with a wink before sauntering over to her door.

He looked at the ground and shook his head, chuckling lightly before following her.

Once outside, Olivia looked around for his car but didn't see it. "Did you get a new car, El?"

Elliot took her gently at the elbow and guided her a few feet down the sidewalk. "I did," he said, "but I didn't drive it tonight. Milady, your carriage awaits." He embellished his words with a grand sweep of his arms . . . in the direction of a large black and chrome motorcycle.

Olivia gasped, raising her hands to her mouth. She looked at Elliot, wide eyed. "You got a MOTORCYCLE?"

He laughed. "Yep, a Harley." He couldn't avoid puffing out his chest a little. "A 2012 Softail Deluxe. Call it a midlife crisis. I could never have one while I was raising a family, so . . ."

Olivia pulled the wrap a little tighter around her shoulders. It was cooler than she thought, and apparently they were going to be riding on a motorcycle. Elliot, always a gentleman, noticed and quickly shed his suit jacket and placed it on her, running his hand up and down her back a few times.

She felt bad. "Won't you get cold?"

"Nah, I'm used to it," he said as he handed her a helmet. "Besides, it gives an excuse to have your arms around me, and that'll keep me warm." It was his turn to wink, which he paired with his trademark smirk.

Olivia was feeling giddy as she climbed on the Harley behind Elliot and slid her arms around his waist. She tightened her grip and prepared for the ride, wherever it might take them.

**A/N: At last! They see each other. I hope it lived up to your expectations. I just don't think they'd jump all over each other right away or into bed. Anyway, next up, their first date . . . and some heartbreaking news. I hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow or Saturday. Thanks for the reviews; they inspire me! MM**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 "The First Date"

**A/N: Some details may be a bit of a stretch, such as getting into a popular NYC restaurant with less than one day's reservation, but this is where I'll whip out my poetic license and flash it around a little. Thanks to Joei_Cassidy for her help with NYC life and to EOLuv4Evr for being my beta. MM**

**TAO restaurant, 42 E. 58****th**** Street, Manhattan**

**Sunday evening, October 21, 2012**

For Olivia, the ride was over too soon. She had been a motorcycle passenger many times, especially when she was younger and needed to escape her drunken mother and rebel a little. However, nothing compared to clinging to the man who held her heart, feeling his muscles shifting and bulging against her as he navigated the streets of Manhattan. She had to admit she was pretty impressed with his skill and wondered if riding was something from his hazy past, something else he had had to give up in order to be a family man.

They arrived at their destination: TAO restaurant on 58th Street. Elliot helped her off the Harley and arranged their helmets. Before she could say or do anything, he looked at her appraisingly and said, "Your hair looks fine. You're gorgeous." He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers.

She tilted her head and smiled, raising her hand to cup his cheek. "Thank you, El. You clean up nicely yourself. Oh, here's your jacket," she said as she handed it over to him.

He held out his right arm at an angle. When she slid her left arm in, he grasped her hand and held their entwined fingers close to his chest. "All set?" he said as he gave her fingers a squeeze and flashed his Stabler grin.

She nodded and followed him into the Asian-themed restaurant. "Elliot, how on _earth_ did you manage to get us a seat here on such short notice?" she gushed as she took in the décor.

Elliot groaned inwardly. He was going to be paying up on this one for a long time, but she was worth it. "I had to call in a few favors—correction, a lot of BIG favors. But don't you worry about that. I hope you like it. I know we both like Oriental food, so I pulled some strings."

Olivia was touched. She never knew Elliot was such a  
romantic. Then again, maybe he had always been, but she never could experience it fully until now. She planned to relish every moment of it and to make sure he felt her appreciation. She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Elliot's eyes fluttered closed. _I'm dead meat if this is how good it feels when she just kisses me on the cheek," _he thought.

The restaurant was busy, but they did not have to wait long for their reservations. They were led to a table just to the right of a 16-foot tall statue of a sitting Buddha, which appeared to float over a "pond." Several fish, including Japanese carp, swam lazily around the Buddha. They sat for a moment, taking in the huge tapestries with Asian calligraphy suspended from the ceiling and the deep red, purple, and gold tones that adorned the crowded restaurant.

"It's not the Skybox," Elliot said as he pointed up to the sought-after top level of the establishment, where diners had a bird's eye view of the entire layout. His tone was apologetic.

"EL! This is perfect. I'm just impressed you got us in at all. Besides," Olivia said as she leaned forward and placed a hand on his, which he enfolded with his other one on top. "we're here together. That's all that matters to me." She squeezed his hand.

Though their server had introduced himself and taken their drink orders, they hadn't yet bothered to look at the menu. The enormity of the steps they had taken in their relationship was not lost on them, and they simply sat and gazed at one another for several minutes, taking it all in.

After dismissing the server a second time when he came to take their order, Elliot released their hands and picked up his menu. "Maybe we should take a look at these, huh?" he said with a laugh.

"I think you're right," she replied with a wink and a sly smile.

_I wonder if she has any idea how beautiful she is_, Elliot wondered, taking one last lingering glance at her before dragging his attention to his menu.

"Hmm," Olivia mused as she tapped her lower lip with her index finger. "Sushi sounds good." Without looking up, she waited a moment then snickered.

"Very funny, Benson. You know how raw fish and I don't mix. How can you eat that stuff?" Elliot screwed up his face, feigning disgust.

"Relax, El. I won't make you eat . . . but one piece." The gauntlet had been thrown.

Elliot felt his stomach churn, but he was not about to refuse a challenge, especially when the stakes could get very interesting. The thought turned him on. "And just what will I get if I eat it and hold it down?" he said in a low voice as he wagged his eyebrows.

Olivia shifted in her seat. She was beginning to feel flushed, but she wasn't about to fan herself in front of him and let him think she was more than a little hot and bothered by the idea of paying up. Stalling, she took a sip of wine. "How about . . . for each piece of sushi you eat, you get one kiss." She downed the glass of wine, leaned back in her chair, and stared him down.

It felt to Elliot like the temperature in the room had just shot up 50 degrees. He fidgeted with his collar and cleared his throat. Although he had wanted their first kisses to be a little more spontaneous, he knew controlling the moment was her way of feeling safe and letting him close when she was ready. He had to admit it was a small price to pay to be able to finally feel those lips on his.

"You're on, Benson," he finally managed, trying to sound in total control of his senses. "We're talking lips, right?"

Olivia smirked. "You trying to round all the bases in one night, Stabler?" She winked, letting him off the hook.

Just then their extremely patient server appeared for a third attempt to take their food order. Becoming a little queasy as he perused the menu, Elliot looked over at Olivia, his eyes pleading. "Since I'm new to this, can we start small with something like a roll instead of bare-ass fish?"

Olivia had never intending to let it get too far and chance Elliot getting ill and spoiling the mood. However, she wasn't going to let him in on that plan. "What? Is the big, bad Detective Stabler afraid of a little measly piece of uncooked fish?" she teased, pouting her lips.

It was Elliot's turn to squirm in his seat. _Lord, have mercy. Those lips, _he thought. "I'm no longer a detective, and no, I'm not afraid. It's just you have an advantage; you're used to sushi. Just trying to even the playing field a little," he countered, staring her down.

_Oh, you don't play fair, Stabler. You know you can control me with those baby blues of yours,_ Olivia thought. She faked an exasperated sigh. "Fine. You can have a sushi roll . . . but I get to pick which one!" _Aha, gotcha_!

Elliot groaned. He was in trouble now, but he continued their game. "All right," he said, turning to the waiter. "I'll have the TAO Temple Salad and whatever the lovely lady chooses for me. And another Sapporo, please." He would need all the help he could get to down as much of the sushi as he could, for he fully intended to win the dare.

"I'll have a TAO Temple Salad as well and Hamachi sushi, and Mr. Fearless over there will have the Angry Dragon Roll," Olivia said as she handed her menu to the waiter, who nodded his head and slipped off to place their order.

"Angry Dragon? Really, Liv?"

She laughed. "Well, I think it's rather appropriate, don't you?"

Elliot smiled. "Maybe, but I hope you'll find that I am a kinder, gentler El."

"Miracles do happen!" Olivia quipped. He laughed with her, then there was a long silence.

Elliot reached across the table and took her hands in his, locking eyes with her. He just stared, smiling, for several minutes. They had always been a pair who didn't need a lot of words. True to form, even now they were communicating more with their eyes than their words could ever say. Finally, Olivia blushed and tried to pull her hands back, but he held them firmly.

"El!" she protested, albeit weakly.

"What? Can you blame me? Liv, I can't stop staring at you. I'm afraid if I look away, you'll disappear and I'll find out this is all a dream." Elliot raised one of her hands and kissed it, holding his lips against her smooth, olive skin for several seconds. When he returned their hands to the table, his ran his thumbs in circles over her wrists.

"It's not a dream, El," she said so quietly that he had to lean in to hear her, not that he minded the added closeness . . . or the better view of her cleavage from the new angle. "It's real. It's finally real."

Their salads arrived, so they reluctantly released each other's hands. "So tell me more about your job at the academy," Olivia asked Elliot as she took a bite of her salad.

"Well, right now I work in Gramercy Park, but next year the new academy should open up in Queens, so it'll be a lot shorter commute, which is nice," he began.

"What exactly do you do?" she prodded.

"I work in the Physical Training and Tactics Department. I help prepare recruits for the physical and tactical rigors of the job. I teach them defense tactics, calisthenics training, frisking and cuffing techniques, stuff like that."

Olivia smirked. "Frisking and cuffing, eh? I bet you have a lot to teach recruits about that!"

_I have a few things I'd like to teach __you__ about it and I'm not talking about with perps,_ he thought. They nibbled on their salads and chatted about their jobs. Neither could quite believe it when they realized that collectively they had over 40 years of combined NYPD experience.

The moment of truth arrived as their server brought them their entrees. Olivia, sensing Elliot's discomfort, decided to have a little fun. She picked up a piece of her sushi, tilted her head back, and swallowed it whole, licking her fingers afterwards.

Elliot simply stared, not sure whether to be turned on or repulsed or both. He broke his stare to consider the plate she pushed closer to him.

"Eat up, Stabler. You _do_ want to kiss me, don't you?" she teased as she worked on another piece of yellowtail.

_Do you have to ask? _"What is that black stuff all over it?" he asked as he scrunched up his nose.

"That is _kabayaki_, a sauce typically served with eel," she replied.

Elliot coughed and sputtered. "Eel? My first time eating sushi and you order me _eel_?"

Olivia grinned. "Yeah! El . . . eel. Get it? Man up, Stabler. Take a bite."

He took a deep breath and finally downed a piece of the sushi roll. Swallowing quickly so he would have to taste as little as possible, he held up a finger. "That's one for the Angry Dragon," he said, quite pleased with himself. _Please, God, let me keep it down,_ he prayed.

Olivia was impressed. "Indeed it is, El. You've earned one kiss. We'll settle after dinner. Game for more?" she said in a sultry voice and tilted her head forward.

Elliot took another deep breath and let it out slowly. Over the course of the next several minutes, he managed to down two more pieces of sushi. He felt his stomach churn a little. "The dragon is angry. I think I'm going to have to forfeit," he said as he belched. _Way to go, Stabler. She'll be dying to lock lips with you now._

She was hoping he'd be able to handle more. "All right. That's three kisses. If you're lucky, you may get all of them tonight."

His eyebrows shot up. "Hey! I thought that was the deal! I eat X number of sushi and I get to kiss you X number of times in the same night."

"I never agreed to those terms!" she said with a mischievous grin.

Elliot asked the server for the check. While they waited for it, Olivia realized she hadn't even asked Elliot about one of the most important things in his life: his kids. "So what is the Stabler clan up to these days?" she asked as she leaned forward, her chin resting in her hand.

Elliot's eyes lit up, turning sky blue. "Well, you know Maureen graduated from Hudson. She just turned 28, can you believe it? She's a nurse in the maternity ward at Mercy General. She's married to a radiologist there, Steven Reigel. They've been married a year and live in Queens, not far from dear ol' Dad." His face beamed with pride.

"I'm sure that makes you happy." Olivia said. "So, how about Kathleen?"

Elliot laid a credit card on top of the bill, which the server accepted and slipped away quietly. "She is working on her law degree. She's trying to decide between family court or criminal law."

"So you could someday have an ADA in the family and I could work with another Stabler in SVU?" Olivia reflected on all the trouble El's second eldest had been in only a few short years ago and was proud of how far the young woman had come. "How's she doing with the bipolar?"

Elliot nodded. "She's doing really good. What's **not** so good for her is this low-life she's dating," he grumbled.

Olivia chuckled. He was ever the protective father even though Kathleen was 23 and on her own.

He slid his chair closer to hers. "What do you say we get out of here and take a little walk? I can catch you up on the rest of the kids and maybe I can collect on our deal." His eyes lowered to linger on her lips for a moment before traveling back up her face. He brushed her hair from her eyes then slid his hand down her face. His thumb grazed her lips ever so slightly before caressing her cheek.

She placed her hand over his and turned her face slightly so she could kiss his palm. She smiled at him. "What did you have in mind?"

As they stood, he draped her wrap over her shoulders then slid his arm around them, guiding her through the restaurant. "I thought we could head down to Pulitzer Fountain. Are you up for it?"

"Of course! What a lovely idea, El." The thought of walking several blocks on the arm of the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on made her dance inside.

They stepped outside. "Are you warm enough? Here, take my coat," Elliot said as he spread it over her shoulders.

Olivia pulled the jacket closed over her chest. Elliot slid his arm around her waist and they started for the direction of the fountain at the edge of Central Park. "So, how are Dickie and Lizzie?" she queried.

Elliot chuckled. "_Richard_, as he likes to be called now, is just like me when I was his age. He's a chip off the old block. He wants to be an astronaut—"

"Still?" Olivia interjected. She remembered how Elliot had dreamed of being an astronaut, but after the arrest of his hero and mentor, Dick Finley, the man Dickie was named after, she was certain he would have tried to dissuade his son.

"Yeah, still," he sighed. "Like I said, he's a chip off the old block; he's stubborn. He's shooting for becoming a fighter pilot to help his chances in becoming an astronaut. He wanted to go into the service, but you know how I felt about that. So we reached a compromise. He's part of the Navy/Marines ROTC and is in his second year at SUNY in the Bronx."

Olivia bumped her hip against Elliot's. "You know you're proud of him."

He squeezed her closer to him. "Yeah. Yeah, I am. At least one of us might make it to space."

They were almost to the fountain. "And Lizzie?" Olivia asked.

Elliot guided them to the edge of the huge basin and they sat down. He pulled her flush against him and put one arm around her shoulders and clasped his free hand with hers, resting them on his knee. "Lizzie's 19. She was always so intelligent. I thought she'd try to be a scientist or something, but she surprised us all. She's living in New Jersey near Kathy and is studying to be an actress. She also plays piano."

"That's wonderful, El. Wow. The big kids are no longer kids, are they?" She rested her head on his shoulder. He knew what was coming but wanted to avoid the subject as long as possible. When he had planned their date, he had intentionally chosen the fountain, hoping it would be a romantic backdrop. He needed to move quickly, not only to keep her from asking the inevitable but also because he could not wait one more second to kiss his girlfriend for the first time.

He looked down at her and gently lifted her chin until her face was level with his. "Hey," he said in a husky voice. "I'd like to cash in those kisses, Liv. What do you say?" As he spoke, he lowered his head until their lips were millimeters apart.

"El, you don't have to ask perm—" But she couldn't finish her statement. His lips closed the distance and pressed firmly against hers. The hand that had been around her shoulders slid up to gently guide her head toward his then curled around the base of her neck, stroking her sensitive skin there. His other hand moved from her chin to her cheek as he deepened the kiss. He moaned against her lips. The actual experience of kissing her was surpassing all his fantasies. He dragged his lips from hers and held her face in his large hands. He had to take a breath.

Their eyes—the Benson browns and the Stabler blues—locked and held for several moments as the implications of what they had just done sunk in. Even when they had gone undercover as husband and wife or the time she had posed as a prostitute when she had visited him undercover, they had never crossed this line. They kicked themselves for waiting this long, but oh, it had been worth the wait.

Elliot rested his forehead against hers. "That's one," he started to say, but he was cut off as Olivia shifted to face him, grabbed his face, and kissed him with all the passion she could muster. She pulled away with a loud smack. "That's two," she breathed.

"Oh God, Liv!" was all he could say before they both grabbed at each other and went in for kiss number three, nearly falling into the fountain in the process. Elliot carefully stood them up, not breaking contact. This left his hands free to roam under his jacket she still had on and explore her back. Her hands were not idle. She slid them up the muscular planes of his back and into his hair at the base of his neck. She could feel how his rigorous job at the academy had paid off. Her heart skipped as the thought of seeing those muscles underneath his clothes and exploring them invaded her mind.

Elliot pulled away reluctantly. "That's . . . three . . . " he said, panting heavily.

"I never said we had to stop at three!" Olivia spat out before grabbing his head and pulling his lips back to hers. Momentarily surprised, he quickly got in the spirit. Emboldened, he slid his tongue along the seam of her lips, asking permission to enter. She granted it, willingly.

They stood there by the fountain and made out for several minutes. It was as if they were trying to make up lost time all at once. In the back of Elliot's brain, however, he knew they had to stop. If they didn't, _he_ wouldn't be able to stop before things got too intimate. His body had quickly responded to their passionate kissing; surely she could feel the evidence, for there was not a millimeter of space between their now-heated bodies.

"Liv… LIV! God, baby," he muttered against her lips, which continued to maraud his. "Baby, stop."

She didn't comply. "Why…do…we…have to?" she said, punctuating each word with a kiss. She thrust her tongue into his mouth again, daring him to duel with her.

He groaned and reluctantly broke their embrace. "God in heaven, that was—"

"Un-fucking-believable," she finished. She slid her hands up his head and pushed it gently to one side so she could plant kisses from his neck to his jaw. She started to drag her lips across his cheek, with his lips being her target, but he stopped her, gently grabbing her arms and holding them in place against his chest.

He exhaled sharply and closed his eyes, dropping his chin to rest on top of her head. "Whew. You said it. Oh sweetheart, that outdid my wildest dreams." He pulled her closer.

She looked up at him. "El, why did we stop?"

"Because, Liv," he said as he brushed a hand against her cheek, "I don't particularly want to get arrested for public indecency for ravaging you right here and right now." He kissed her nose.

Their breathing somewhat calmer, they sat back down on the edge of the fountain. For several moments, they just sat, silently absorbing the events of the past two days. Finally, Olivia spoke up.

"El, can I ask you something?"

Here it comes, he thought. "Anything, my love," he said as he kissed her forehead.

She turned so they were facing each other. "Elliot, you never talk about Eli. Why is that?" She was surprised when he suddenly stood up and walked several feet away.

She watched him pace for a moment, scrubbing his hands over his head and neck. His lips pursed. She slowly walked over to him, shocked when she saw his eyes were full of tears. He looked at her for a moment then shook his head and turned away.

She wasn't having it. She pulled his arm so he would face her. "El, what is it?"

He shook his head vigorously, his mouth a hard, thin line. His hands were on his hips and one foot tapped the ground. "I—I can't. Not here. Let's get outta here." He started back toward the restaurant.

She ran after him, getting in front of him and stopping him with her hands on his broad chest. "Not until you tell me what's going on. El, what happened to your son?" Her eyes were wide, threatening to spill over with tears themselves.

He choked back a sob. "That's just it!" he cried. "Eli is not my son!"

**A/N: Not your typical first date, huh? Then again, nothing is typical in Benson-Stabler Land. What's the story behind Eli's paternity? That and more in the next chapter. Please review! MM**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 "The Deception"

**A/N: In French "deception" also means "disappointment." There is a great deal of both in this chapter (EK, not EO!). It'll be intense, but hang in there; the payoff will be a little more EO lovin'. MM**

The walk back to the restaurant to retrieve Elliot's motorcycle was a silent one. Olivia, for her part, had been shell-shocked at his revelation, although if she were honest with herself, part of her had always wondered about Eli's paternity. After all, the Stablers had been separated for over two years and the divorce papers signed. She knew they were both devout Catholics, but no one is a saint and two years is a long time to go without intimacy.

Olivia did not press Elliot to talk. She knew he would not do so before he was ready, and he wouldn't do it in public. They had decided to go to her apartment, so until they got there, she intended to keep her thoughts to herself.

Elliot knew he should slow down and allow Olivia to keep up with him—the first thing one noticed about the Benson-Stabler duo was how in step they always were—but he was anxious to get them back to Olivia's place where they could have some more privacy. The physical exertion of walking briskly also helped him release some of his angst. Right now he just didn't think he could look at Olivia without breaking down, and there was no way in hell he was going to do that in public. He set his jaw and determined to hold himself together until they got to her apartment.

Once on the motorcycle, they rode in silence, but Elliot's muscles were tense under Olivia's grip. By the time they got to her 89th Street apartment, however, his muscles had relaxed. She wanted to hope that was at least in part due to her presence and her touch. It wasn't until they exited the elevator and headed toward her door that Elliot spoke. He took her hand.

"Liv, I'm sorry our first date ended like this. I ruined the mood."

Olivia was shocked. She had planned to apologize to _him_ for the same thing. She paused at her door. "Elliot," she said gently as she placed a hand on his arm. "You don't need to apologize. _I'm_ sorry for bringing it up." She unlocked the door and tossed her purse on her kitchen counter then hung up Elliot's suit jacket.

"Liv, you didn't know. It was going to come up eventually. I just tried to put it off as long as I could." He rubbed his chin, his gaze directed at the floor.

Olivia turned to him and placed her hands on his biceps. "Why don't you make yourself comfortable on the couch while I go change? When I come back, I'll make us some coffee, hm?" She smoothed her hands up and down his arms a few times, again secretly impressed at their bulk.

Elliot gave her a small smile and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "Sounds good. I can make the coffee, though," he offered.

She rewarded him with a smile of her own. "Thank you, El. You know how I like mine," she said with a wink before heading to her bedroom to change out of her dress.

Elliot rolled up his sleeves as he stepped into the tiny kitchen. More out of curiosity than needing anything in particular, he opened her refrigerator. As he expected, it was empty of all but a few beers, takeout containers, condiments, and some kind of aging fruit he couldn't quite identify. He chuckled. _Some things never change,_ he thought. During his first and then second round of bachelorhood, he had learned to prepare a few staple meals. He decided one day he would fix one of them for Olivia, perhaps the first time she went to his place, which he hoped would be very soon. He set about making a pot of decaf.

As he carried two mugs over to the living room, Olivia emerged from her bedroom clad in slim black jeans and a cream-colored blouse. "Perfect timing," he said as he gave her an appraising look.

She accepted the coffee, holding it in her right hand and sat down on the couch, her left leg tucked underneath her. She leaned her head on her left arm and gazed at Elliot. He sat next to her, for the moment facing away from her. After taking a long sip, he set his mug on the coffee table and leaned back into the cushions.

Olivia watched him stare at his hands, which were folded in his lap. After several moments, she set her coffee down and placed a hand on his shoulder. "How did you find out?"

Elliot drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. Putting off talking about it wasn't going to make the story any easier to tell or reliving that moment that irrevocably ripped out a piece of his heart. "After I retired and didn't become the husband she expected me to magically turn into, I guess Kathy started looking for a reason to bolt—_again_," he said bitterly. "She went through our papers, found her reason, and confronted me with it. When I told her I used the money to bail you out, she went crazy. She said she had always known there was something going on between you and me."

Olivia felt guilty. Though she had not asked Elliot to post her bond, she hated being the reason, or at least one reason, for problems in his marriage. She waited for him to continue.

"She started throwing hers and Eli's belongings into boxes. She said, 'Go be with your precious _Liv_. I'm done. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Or Eli, for that matter.' When I asked her what she meant . . . . " Elliot paused. He leaned forward onto his knees and ran a hand over his forehead. He jumped off the couch and began to pace. Finally he faced Olivia, one hand on his hip and the other pinching the bridge of his nose.

"She just blurted it out! 'ELI ISN'T YOURS. YOU ARE NOT HIS FATHER.'"

"Oh El," was all Olivia could say. She knew he still had a lot to get out, and he had to do it at his own pace, without her interrupting.

He walked a few steps then suddenly appeared as if he were going to punch the beam that separated her living room and kitchen. He stopped himself both so he wouldn't damage her property and also because he had no desire to nurse a bloody, swollen hand. He spun around and quickly covered the few steps back to the couch.

"HOW COULD SHE SAY THAT?" he shouted. "How—how could she say I wasn't his father and he wasn't my son?" He began pacing again. "After all those years I hugged him, told him bedtime stories, wiped his tears . . . . only to find out I was raising another man's son." He shook his head in disbelief. "That bitch lied to me, _twice_!" He shook his head again, hands on his hips. After a moment he looked at Olivia.

"Do you remember the day Eli was born?" he asked.

_How could I forget?_ she thought. _I helped deliver him!_

Not waiting for an answer, he continued. "A couple days prior, we caught that case with Tommy Keegan? Where it came out that Jake Keegan was not his biological father? It got me to thinking. So the night before Kathy's doctor appointment, I asked her if she had seen anyone during our separation. She didn't answer but asked if I had, then you called but I didn't pick up. I asked her again, and she said she had gone on 'a couple dates' with 'no one I knew.'"

Olivia raised her eyebrows but still said nothing.

He scoffed. "I knew it. Deep down, I suspected Eli wasn't mine, but I brushed it off. I was a detective, for fuck's sake! I should have figured it out!"

"El, it sounds like she did everything she could to keep you from finding out," Olivia offered.

He spat out a scornful laugh. "Oh, she sure did! She couldn't even look me in the eye when I asked her if she slept with him! She never even answered the question and had the gall to turn the tables on me. Then you called again and I had to leave. But that night I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about Jake Keegan and that little boy he had thought was his son." He shook his head sadly.

Olivia's heart was breaking for Elliot. Cases involving children always hit him hard, and Tommy Keegan had bonded with Elliot and wouldn't leave his side until Jake Keegan came to the precinct looking for him.

"She told me in the hospital after his birth that I was the father. For some reason I told her that I knew. I guess . . . I guess I _needed_ to believe Eli was mine; the alternative was too painful to face. I did everything to convince _myself_ that he was. I mean, Kathleen was born a month early after Kathy saw on the news that I'd been involved in a shootout. So I figured the accident caused premature labor; after all, Eli wasn't due until late December/early January."

Olivia hated to interrupt, but she thought she could use a beer and told him so. "You want one?" she asked as she started to rise from the couch.

"Hell yeah. Sit. I got it." He grabbed a couple bottles from her fridge, opened them, and gave one to Olivia. He drew a long swig from his.

Elliot's shoulders sagged. He returned to the couch and sat down wearily, rubbing his forehead before taking a sideways glance at Olivia. He smiled weakly and reached over and squeezed her hand before continuing.

"She was already pregnant when I slept with her after the Royce case. She was nearly two months along. She knew it when she asked me to stay that night but had to wait another couple months to tell me she was pregnant so I'd believe it was mine. I had told her a couple months before that night that I wanted to come home. She kept putting me off. Now I know it's because she was seeing that guy she had gone on 'a couple dates' with, but then he dumped her and she had to figure something out." He took another drag from his beer and scoffed. "She did, all right. She snared me into staying, giving me this bullshit about it not being about her pride or even for the kids. She wanted me to do it 'for her.'"

Elliot couldn't help it. He polished off his beer and threw the bottle hard. It crashed against the breakfast bar dividing her kitchen and living room. He immediately regretted his outburst and started to get up so he could clean up the broken pieces.

Olivia held him back by placing a hand on his arm. "Don't worry about it. I'll get it later."

Although she had been dumbfounded and heartbroken when Elliot had told her Kathy was pregnant, she had always admired him for going back and trying to do the right thing. Her anger boiled against Kathy for putting Elliot through it all. Hell, she nearly died taking Kathy to her doctor appointment then saved her life, and it was all based on a lie! She didn't regret saving Eli's life and never would, but she wished she could take away Elliot's pain. When Elliot slumped heavily back to the couch, she rubbed her hands soothingly up and down his back while he leaned forward, his face supported by his clasped hands.

When he spoke next, it was so quietly she had to scoot even closer in order to hear him. "I wish I'd gone to you that night instead of Kathy."

Olivia wasn't sure what to say, but she thought knew what he meant. If he had turned down Kathy's request for him to stay, he wouldn't be in this mess. Then again, he would never have known Eli.

"El, you can't change the past. Just because Eli isn't your biological son doesn't mean you love him any less. He was yours; he still is. You will always see him as your child, and to him you will always be his father."

Elliot couldn't take it anymore. He broke into a sob. He turned to Olivia and wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. She rocked him gently as he cried, cradling his head.

They stayed that way for several minutes. Finally Olivia spoke. "When was the last time you saw him?"

This elicited a fresh sob from Elliot, who squeezed her tighter. "Not since Easter," he spoke into her neck. "They left in January, and she won't let me see him and I can't get past her mother or her sister."

"What about presumptive paternity? If the biological father is not in the picture, they have no right to keep you from seeing Eli," Olivia said.

Elliot disengaged from their embrace and wiped his eyes. "He doesn't want anything to do with Kathy or Eli. Because of that and to make sure I had visitation even with presumptive paternity on my side, I agreed to pay child support. Yet she still won't let me see him." He scoffed. "She has no problems conning me into going back to her and raising a child that was not biologically mine then accepting child support, but she thinks she can keep me from him?" He could feel his anger building again.

Olivia leaned forward and grabbed Elliot's hands. "El, we'll fight this. She can't do this, and I won't let her get away with it. She screwed me over too, remember?" Her dark eyes shone with her own indignation mixed with determination. _You better get ready, bitch,_ Olivia thought about Kathy. _You are not going to win this one. Benson and Stabler are back._

Elliot's heart flooded with love and admiration for her. She had nearly died doing something he had asked her to do, and he was sorry for putting her in that position. _What a fool I was,_ he thought as he vowed to spend the rest of his life thanking her for all the sacrifices she had made for him.

He lunged forward and kissed her hard, wrapping his arms around her. She emitted a surprised moan but soon was returning his passionate kisses with an onslaught of her own. One of her hands slid up his back to caress the back of his head, while the other slid down to his waist and untucked his shirt from his pants. He took this as his encouragement to proceed. He pulled his lips from hers and trailed them down her jaw and then her neck, where he nuzzled the soft skin. When he reached her collarbone, he used his tongue on the sensitive area. His left hand slowly traveled up her side.

"Mmmm," Olivia moaned at his ministrations to her neck and shoulder. She made quick work of his tie, tossing it over her shoulder. She slipped her hands under his shirt and explored his chest, reveling in the broad expanse of muscle. She gently tugged on his chest hair, recalling that he had not too much and not too little; to her, it was the perfect amount. When she brushed over one of his nipples, it was his turn to moan.

"Oh God, Liv. Do you know how long I've wanted to touch you and for you to touch me? Baby, that feels good." He fastened his lips to the right side of her neck to give it the same loving attention he had given the left side. Olivia unfastened the top three buttons of his shirt and suckled on his neck, eliciting another moan from Elliot.

They locked lips again, this time adding their tongues to the battle. Their hands explored each other's upper body. Elliot's left hand found the hem of her blouse and he slid his fingers under it. They began a slow ascent to her breast. He got as far as cupping its weight in his large hand before Olivia pulled back.

"Wait. El, stop," she panted.

His hand stopped moving, but his lips didn't. He kissed his way to just below her left ear. "Do you _really_ want to stop?" he murmured seductively.

Olivia groaned._ Nooooo_, she thought. He wasn't going to make this easy. Things were moving a little fast and she had gotten caught up in the moment. "El." She pushed against his chest. "El!"

Reluctantly he pulled back. "Liv," he panted, forehead against hers, his blue eyes, dark with lust, locked on her chocolate ones.

She had to look away or risk losing her resolve. He had ignited a fire, one that burned hotly for him from the moment he first kissed her. Still, he had been back in her life for only three days and emotionally she wasn't quite ready to make love with him. Despite having known him for one-third of her life, she still needed time to adjust to the new dynamics of their relationship. She didn't want to ruin what they were rebuilding.

"El, I don't want to rush into this. I need some time. I want our first time together to be special and not because of heightened emotion. I don't want you to think I'm giving you pity sex." She paused, the love she truly felt for him welling up.

He reached out and cupped her face in one hand. "I would never think that, Liv."

She clasped his hand and held it to her cheek. "I _do_ want you, El. Please don't think that I don't. I'm just . . . not ready."

He leaned back against the cushions and pulled her into his arms. She rested her head on his chest. "Can I just hold you for a while, then?"

Olivia lifted her head and looked at him before glancing at the time. "I'd love that, El. It's getting late though and we both have to be up early for work tomorrow."

Disappointed, he pulled back and began to button his shirt. "I guess I should be going then," he sighed.

Olivia grabbed his shirtfront and turned him to face her. "You didn't let me finish, Stabler. I was gonna say you can hold me all night . . . _if you stay_."

Elliot's eyes widened. He hadn't expected that. Truth be known, he wasn't sure he could control himself if he spent the night in her bed, but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to be as close to her as he could. The last few days, and especially the last few hours, had been emotionally draining for him and he admitted he needed the comfort of her arms around him. There was one problem, however.

Olivia read his mind. "Bottom dresser drawer, all your stuff: jeans, Henley's, sweats, socks, briefs. There's even a suit and a couple dress shirts of yours in my closet. Got extra toothbrush and razors, whatever you need." Some of the items she had pilfered from him over the years; others he had left there for convenience's sake when it was easier to change there due to crime scene investigations and court appearances versus going back to the precinct or to Queens.

They stood up and started for her bedroom, arms wrapped around each other's waist. At the doorway, Elliot stopped her. "Liv, I . . . about tonight, getting all emotional . . . ."

"El, don't be embarrassed. We couldn't share our feelings before, but if we're gonna make this work, we need to start."

El chuckled and brushed her hair from her face. "Silly girl. _You_didn't let _me_ finish. I was just going to say thank you—for listening, for understanding." He wanted to say more but found his words failed him. He pressed his lips to hers.

She took his hand and led him into the bedroom. She turned down the covers. "Which side do you want?"

"Whichever side is next to you," he quipped.

She gave him a playful shove. "Remember, just sleeping," she said before heading toward the bathroom to set out toiletries for him. When she came out, he had stripped down to his briefs and was sitting on the edge of the bed. She surreptitiously gave his nearly naked body a once-over. She might have a bit of difficulty following her own rule.

He smirked. "Sorry. I sleep in my underwear. I hope that's not a problem, Benson."

She went over to her dresser and fished out a tank top and cotton shorts, then she sauntered to the bathroom to change. Before she went in, she looked over her shoulder. "I normally sleep in the nude." She held up her nightwear. "I hope _this_ isn't a problem, Stabler."

Elliot gulped and felt a certain part of his anatomy twitch. _This is gonna be a long—_he looked down at his groin—_hard night_, he thought to himself with a groan. He slipped under the covers, praying she hadn't noticed the effect her words had on him.

Olivia emerged from the bathroom, her makeup removed and her hair pulled up in a messy bun. To him, she had never looked more beautiful.

She crawled into bed and snuggled up to him. They shared a lingering kiss. "I had a wonderful night, El." She buried her head in his chest.

He tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer. "So did I, Liv. Good night, sweetheart."

"Nigh'," she mumbled, already half-asleep. He gave a short laugh. _That was fast,_ he thought. He stroked her back idly as her breathing softened and picked up a regular rhythm.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you," he whispered.

**A/N: This was a difficult chapter to write. I hope I accurately conveyed their emotions, particularly over Eli. Though the "Paternity" episode showed a lot of Elliot/Kathy tenderness and she assured him the baby was his, which he seemed to accept, I still don't buy it. The timing was all off; Kathy didn't directly answer his questions at first; and there was LOVE in that EO hug at the end (which Chris Meloni insisted on inserting). You can't tell me it was just a thank you or just relief that his partner was okay, so don't even try! LOL. Next chapter: Olivia returns to work and her relationship with Elliot continues to deepen. MM**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 "The Admission"

**A/N: Bear with me. This is a long one, but I think you'll enjoy it, especially the end. MM**

**Olivia Benson's apartment**

**Early morning, Monday, October 22, 2012 **

Olivia was just about to doze off when she heard him. Her eyes flew open. Her heart began doing flips that would make the troupe from Cirque de Soleil jealous. She was sure Elliot could hear and feel it, but she didn't move. It wasn't until she heard his light snores that she released the breath she had been holding. He had already said in the letter that he loved her, but to hear it was something different. She wasn't used to it, having heard it too few precious times in her life. It was all new to her, but she was finding that with Elliot she could relax and open up faster than she had with any other man she had been involved with. Granted, having known him for so long was a big plus. He made her feel safe, and she loved that feeling. She pressed her lips to his chest and drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.

Elliot woke up before the alarm went off. He turned over carefully so as not to wake Olivia, knowing how precious little sleep an NYPD detective could get. He had to cover his mouth to suppress a laugh, however. She was sprawled across the bed, one arm and one leg hanging off the edge. Her mouth was open and he thought he saw a small puddle of drool. Her hair had fallen from loose from the bun and was sticking out in all directions. On top of that, she was snoring. It was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

He padded quietly to the bathroom and shut the door so as not to disturb her. As he showered, he reflected on the moments just before he fell asleep, when he told her he loved her. He had waited until he thought she was asleep so that she would not feel obligated to say it back. He knew she loved him and would tell him when she was ready. He was quite aware of her past and her dating history and how that made her slow to open up. He knew that when she did say that she loved him, it would mean she was certain of it and it would be all the more special to him to hear it.

Olivia woke with a start. Something was different. As the fog cleared, she remembered: Elliot. She smiled and turned over to greet him. She was disappointed when she saw he wasn't next to her when she woke up. _I should be used to that_, she thought glumly. Then she remembered what he had said. Her smile returned . . . until she went in the bathroom and saw herself in the mirror. She hoped he hadn't taken a good look when he got up and she made a mental note to get up before he did in the future. The future. Hers and El's. This was real. It both freaked her out and made her giddy at the same time.

She threw on a silk robe and sought Elliot. He was in the kitchen, his back to her, humming as he gathered plates and utensils and put them on a tray. He took one of the roses from the bouquet he had given her and put it in a glass of water, adding it to the tray. He was wearing blue jeans and nothing else. Olivia leaned against her bedroom door frame and drank him in.

As she approached, he turned around, his dazzling smile lighting up his handsome face. "Hey!" he said softly. He waved a hand in the direction of the tray. "I was just making you breakfast to bring to you in bed. Good morning, by the way," he said, slipping his arms around her waist.

She ran her arms up his sides and looped them around his neck. Their lips met in a tender, closed-mouthed kiss. "Good morning to you too," she murmured. She released him and inspected the tray. "What's for breakfast?"

"Well, seeing how there was _nothing_ breakfast-y or edible in the fridge," he said with a smirk, "I had to rummage through the cupboards. All I could find was bread, so basically your choices are toast . . . and toast. You really need groceries!" He laughed.

Olivia had always found Elliot attractive, but this more relaxed side of him, rarely seen while they were working, made him even more handsome to her. She swatted him playfully on the ass, one of her favorites of his features. She giggled.

Elliot was surprised, pleasantly so. Olivia Benson giggling? "What's so funny?"

"I was just remembering when your favorite lesbian Babs Duffy called you 'Assy McBigpants,'" she snickered.

"Hey!" Elliot cried in mock protest as he grabbed her and pulled her flush against him. "What's wrong with my ass?" He nuzzled her neck.

"Oh!" Olivia gave a short moan. "Nothing. Nothing at all." She pushed him away and grabbed a piece of toast. "You made me tea also. Thank you, El!" She could get used to this!

They quickly ate while standing up, a habit they developed working at SVU. They said little, simply enjoying their first morning together. Every few moments, they would lock eyes and smile.

Half an hour later they were both ready to leave for work. "I can take you, Liv," Elliot offered.

She shook her head. "No. I mean, El . . . um . . .," she stammered.

He cupped her cheeks. "You don't want anyone at the 1-6 to know about us yet, do you?"

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. "Do you mind? I mean, well, Fin knows, but I'm just not ready for the rest to know. I want 'us' to ourselves for a little while, you know?" She patted his chest, admiring the way his black shirt hugged his muscles.

Elliot was surprised that Fin knew, and he asked her about it, nodding when she explained. "Well . . . Fin isn't the only one who knows," he said sheepishly.

Her eyes grew wide. "Who else could possibly know? You don't know anyone else there except Munch and—" She gasped, her hand clapping over her mouth. "CRAGEN KNOWS ABOUT US?"

Elliot gently grasped her wrists and pulled her closer. "Liv, Liv, it's okay. He's all right with it. Besides, we're not partners any longer. I just . . . I needed his advice, so I, uh, let him read the letter." He cringed, uncertain how she'd react.

She wanted to slap him, but she reined herself in and thought over the implications. "How long?" she asked Elliot.

"He read the letter the day I delivered it, last Wednesday."

"No, I mean, how long have you been in touch with Cragen?" she clarified.

Elliot still wasn't sure if he should tell her, but they needed to have no secrets between them. He took a deep breath, scratching the back of his neck. "About 6 months."

"Six _months_? Oh El, I . . . what? How?" She wasn't able to finish her thoughts, they were so jumbled.

"It was around the time the divorce became final, and then I heard about Cap getting arrested."

Olivia cringed as she relived that horrible scenario. She had secretly hoped that the Captain's trouble would bring Elliot out of hiding and was disappointed when it didn't seem to. She had thus lost some admiration for Elliot, thinking he was so wrapped up in his own problems that he hadn't surfaced even to help their commanding officer. Now she finds out Elliot _had_ been in contact with the Captain. Some of the admiration returned, but something still bothered her.

"So you didn't abandon him. But I don't understand. What have you and he talked about since then?" Her voice was less angry now; she was confused, confused and hurt that he had been in contact with Cragen for all this time and had only now contacted her.

"Well, aside from that whole Ganzel ordeal, we talked about—_you_. I wanted to see how you were doing and to get a feel from the Cap when he thought you might be, uh, ready for me. Besides, I was newly divorced and had some things I wanted to take care of before approaching you." Elliot sighed, not wanting to have this conversation now. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a reassuring smile. "Liv, it's all good. Look, we need to get going. We can talk about it more tonight, say, over dinner?" He moved a hand up to stroke her cheek.

She leaned into his touch, briefly closing her eyes. He was right; it all turned out okay, and now that she was aware of Cragen's involvement, she had another source of support should she need advice, particularly with Elliot. After all, who better to give it than someone who knew him so well? As she leaned against Elliot's chest, her breath hitched. How much had Don told him? Did Elliot know about David Haden? Or even Cassidy? No time to talk about it now; they needed to go to work.

She looked up at him. The love and care radiating from his eyes was evident, and it warmed her heart. She smiled coyly. "You buyin' again?"

He grinned. "Actually, I was thinking about cooking you dinner here. I have regular hours and I could go after work and get you some GROCERIES," he teased, "and have it ready when you get home. What do you say, hm?" He rubbed her back.

Taking her out to dinner, giving her flowers, buying her groceries, making her dinner . . . She almost felt spoiled, and she was beginning to love it. "That sounds wonderful, El. Don't go to TOO much trouble; you know how SVU is and I could get a call that keeps me out all evening." She prayed that wouldn't be the case.

"Good, it's settled," he said as he kissed her nose. "We should get going," he said, arms wrapped around her but making no move to leave.

She was frozen too. It felt so good to be in his arms. Finally, she tore away with a loud sigh and they headed to their respective jobs.

**Manhattan SVU squad room**

Olivia sat at her desk and smiled, staring at her phone. She hadn't even gotten to her subway stop when she got a text from Elliot:

_Have a great day, babe. Tell Cragen I said hi. – El. _

Just then she got another text:

_Thinking of u. Miss u already. – El_

She sighed. She'd never get any work done at this rate! She started to tap out a reply. Just then Fin entered the squad room, followed by the rest of the team: Munch, Rollins, Amaro. They all greeted Olivia and welcomed her back.

"Did you miss this handsome mug?" Amaro quipped as he leaned back in his chair, arms behind his head.

"Nick, how many times do I have to tell you? Olivia is _my_ office romance?" Munch countered from his perch at the coffee pot. Fin walked behind him and smacked him on the back of his head then approached Olivia's desk. He leaned down. "How was your weekend?" he said discreetly with a wink.

She patted his shoulder. "I'll fill you in later," she whispered.

Nick got up and pretended to search for a file on Olivia's desk. "Hey, what's with all the secrecy over here?" He glanced sideways at the detectives, a sly grin toying on his lips.

Olivia just smiled and said nothing. It worked, for the moment, and Amaro went back to his desk.

Don Cragen stood in the doorway of his office. He spotted Olivia. Motioning to her, he called her into his office.

"Yes, Captain?" Olivia sat down in front of his desk while stood in front of her and he leaned against it.

"You doing okay? Did the time off help?" There was concern in his eyes, but Olivia thought she could see something else. Amusement? She decided there was no use in pretending.

"Captain," she began, "I know that you know. I mean, about Elliot." She found herself blushing.

He took a deep breath. "I see. So, you got his letter?"

She nodded. "Yes, and I know you read it. Captain, I—"

He held out a hand as a means of stopping her. "Liv, it's okay. I know you never did anything while you were both under my command. So?"

Olivia was still a bit uneasy about sharing details of her personal life with her CO. "Soooooo . . . "

Don couldn't hide a grin. "Have you talked to him?" he asked.

She blushed again. "Yes. Well, uh, yeah, we're-definitely speaking. We actually had a date last night," she said quickly while staring at the floor.

Don was surprised. He hadn't expected Olivia to come around so quickly. Still, he was glad she apparently forgave Elliot and that they were on the road to a new kind of partnership, one he didn't need to forbid and in fact had every intention of blessing.

"That's wonderful," he said genuinely. "Liv."

She looked up. "Captain?"

"Are you happy?" he asked simply.

Olivia paused for a moment, gathering herself. Finally, she gave her honest answer: "Yes. Yes, Don. I am very happy."

Don leaned forward from his perch on his desk, arms folded across his chest. "Olivia, I am glad to hear it. That man, he loves you _very_ much."

_And I love him_, she thought. "I know. He's—he's part of me, part of who I am. I can't imagine my life without him." Hearing the words out loud, admitting them, broke something loose inside her and she choked back a sob. She smiled at Don through her tears.

He reached out and took her hand. "I pray that you never have to imagine that again." He stood up. "Well, you've got work to do. Get to it!" he said in mock sternness as he pointed to the door.

"Liv," he called out to her before she disappeared.

"Yeah, Captain?"

His lips curled into a mysterious smile. "Tell Elliot to remember what I told him Wednesday."

The day was fairly quiet, so Olivia caught up on paperwork and made a few phone calls to follow up leads on cases the other detectives had investigated during her absence. It was just as well that they hadn't caught a new case; her mind was far from her work. She picked up her phone.

_Hey handsome. How's ur day? –Liv_

It didn't take long for his reply:

_Hey beautiful. It's draaaaging by. I'd rather be with u. – El_

She smiled and tapped out a reply. She looked up to see Nick eyeing her, chewing on a pencil.

"What?" she said as innocently as she could.

He shot her a sly grin. "Who's the new boyfriend?"

She was sure she was blushing, but she refused to acknowledge it or Nick's question. "None of your business," she retorted.

"Oh I get it. It's a big secret. You know that just makes me want to find out even more. I'm a detective, Liv. I have _ways_ of finding out!" Nick wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

"Amaro, don't you DARE or you're toast." Olivia threw a pen at him and got up to fix herself some tea.

Fin caught up to her in the break area. Making sure the coast was clear, he leaned an elbow on the counter next to her. "So. Spill it."

She laughed and turned to face him. "What's there to tell?"

Fin scowled. "Oh, don't give me that. Don't forget who you're talking to here. Did you talk to Stabler?"

She turned back to the counter. "Mm hm," she said nonchalantly.

Fin leaned in closer. "C'mon, Liv. You know I ain't gonna give up until you tell me how it went."

She sighed in mock exasperation. Truth was, she was dying to talk to someone about her feelings, and she didn't have any close friends other than those in the squad. Fin was like a brother to her, and she was glad she could lean on him.

She told him of the events of the weekend and how they planned to have dinner tonight. Fin looked genuinely happy for her. "So I take it it went well? Nah, I'm just teasin' ya. You don't have to give all the gory details, but tell me this: Have you told him you love him?" He took her by the arms and looked at her intently.

"I . . . well, no." She tucked her hair behind her ear.

Fin clucked in disapproval. "Why the hell not? You love him and you know he loves you. What's the problem?" He cocked his head to the side, clearly waiting for an answer. "Liv?"

She took a deep breath and expelled it rapidly before turning to Fin. "Because, Fin, I've never told anyone that before." She looked away before he could see the tears that were forming.

Fin was incredulous but realized he needed to tread lightly. He didn't want to give bad advice and risk screwing things up for the newly formed couple. He rubbed her arm up and down. "I'm sorry, Liv. I didn't know that, but I know you didn't have an easy life growing up, and well, let's be honest, not the greatest luck with men."

She chuckled and gave him a warm smile. "Got me there, Tutola. How do I do it? What's the best way?"

Fin frowned, carefully considering his response. "Girl, there is no best way. You do it when it feels right, when your heart tells you he needs to hear it."

Olivia hugged her friend. "Thank you, Fin. You've helped me a lot."

"Anytime, girl. Anytime. Tell him soon, though, and put that man out of his misery. He is head over heels about you, you know."

"I'm finally believing that. We both denied it for so long that it's been hard for me to open my heart to the truth." Olivia sipped her tea and looked pensively at Fin.

He nodded in understanding. "I hear ya. Believe it, Liv. And make him believe it too," he said as he touched her arm then left the break room.

Olivia finished her tea while considering their conversation. She smiled to herself and took out her phone and dialed his number. Her heart skipped when she heard his voice.

"Hey babe. How is my favorite sex crimes detective?" he said in his sultry baritone.

"Munch? He's fine."

He laughed. "Very funny. He's not my type. He's too . . . male. So what time do you think you'll get out of there?"

Olivia looked at her watch: 4:30. "I can probably take off within the hour."

"Great! Well, I am leaving work now. I will get some groceries and start making dinner. How's that sound?"

Olivia suddenly thought of something. "Wait. You don't have a way to get in my apartment."

"Um, actually I do," he replied. "I still have the key you gave me for emergencies."

She shouldn't have been surprised. "Well, that's convenient. OK then. Let yourself in and I will see you around 6, hopefully."

"Perfect. I can't wait. See you soon, love." This time he didn't correct himself.

"See you soon, El. Bye."

**Olivia Benson's apartment, 6:15 p.m.**

A pleasant aroma of browning meat and spices greeted her nose when she walked in the door. She inhaled deeply. "Something smells good in here!" She set her gun, badge, and phone in their usual spots and approached Elliot. His back was to her as he busied himself over her stove. She slipped her arms around him and pressed her head to his back.

He set down the spoon he was stirring the pasta with and spun around in her arms, wrapping her in a tight hug. He dropped his lips to hers and gave her a slow, lingering kiss. "Hey you," he said, dropping his forehead to hers and gazing into her eyes.

"Hey yourself. What's cookin'?" she asked as she leaned around him to peer into the pots and pans.

He gently pushed her back. "Uh uh. It's a surprise. _You_, my dear, go make yourself comfortable and I'll bring you a glass of wine."

It was then she noticed he was wearing an apron that said, "Kiss me; I'm Irish." So she did. He shuffled her in the direction of her bedroom before returning to the stove.

When she had changed into her favorite sweater and jeans, Olivia returned to the kitchen. Before she could get all the way in, Elliot ushered her back out. "Woman, go sit down. I've got this." He guided her to the couch and handed her a glass of red wine. He leaned down and give her a quick peck. "I've got to put something in the oven, then I'll join you."

Olivia smiled as she watched him putter around in her kitchen, fixing what appeared to be a large green salad and putting place settings at her breakfast bar. She noticed he'd lit a few candles. _He's thought of everything_, she mused, impressed.

He removed his apron and joined her on the couch, raising his glass of wine to hers. "A toast," he began.

"What shall we toast?" Olivia asked.

"Us, of course." Elliot looked skyward for a moment, thinking. "To new beginnings. Semper Fidelis."

"I'll drink to that," Olivia replied and clinked her glass against his before taking a drink.

Elliot gazed lovingly at her. He reached forward and brushed her hair from her forehead. "So how was the 1-6?"

She set down her glass and snuggled closer to him. "Slow, thank God. Oh, I talked to Cragen."

"Did you, now?" he said as he set his own glass down and wrapped his other arm around her and kissed her forehead.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and looked up at him. "Yeah. He's happy for us. Oh, he said to tell you to remember what he told you Wednesday. What'd he mean by that?"

Elliot laughed. "Oh, he just told me that I better treat you right or he'll come find me and kick my ass."

"Well, you needn't worry about him, cuz if you don't treat me right, _I'll_ kick your ass! And Fin will help me," she retorted.

"I believe you! Now . . . dinner won't be ready for another 20 minutes or so. What on earth can we do until then, hmmm?" he said as he pushed her hair back from her neck and began to nibble on the exposed skin.

_My God, Kathy was an idiot to leave him! Her loss, my gain!_ She quickly dismissed all thoughts of his ex-wife and of anything else as she gave in to the sensations his lips were producing. He dragged his lips up to hers and they kissed passionately for several minutes.

Olivia sank back into the cushions, panting. "Wow. You didn't tell me we were having dessert first!"

He kissed her hand. "Well, you_ are_ delicious!" He stood up and held out his hand. "Dinner will be ready soon. How about we start with the salad?" He led her to the breakfast bar, pulling out a chair for her. He poured more wine and cut up some Italian bread. He insisted on doing everything and would not let her get up. She normally hated being waited on, but this was quite a nice change. Everything was made better because it was Elliot.

They chatted about his day while they ate. She marveled at his baked ziti, determining to learn the recipe. She told him about Amaro teasing her about her secret boyfriend.

"Did you tell him about us?" Elliot asked.

"No. Like I told him, it's none of his business. You once told me yourself that everyone knows too much about everyone else in the squad. You remember when you told me that?" She raised an eyebrow.

He smirked. "Of course. It was when I asked you how long you'd been sleeping with Cassidy. Oh your face just then!" He laughed at the memory. "Remember what else I told you?"

"What's that?" she asked, not certain. "Oh, that the unconscious doesn't lie? True. I _do_ work with a bunch of detectives. They'll figure it out, but let them. I'm just not going to help them along."

"True, but that's also when I told you that I'm your partner, for better or worse." He placed a hand on her thigh and squeezed gently. "And I meant it. I still do."

Olivia's heart pounded. _Should I tell him now?_ She wondered. Before she could decide, he jumped up, kissed her cheek, then took their dishes to the sink. She lost her nerve.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and walked to the couch with her. "Oh, before I forget. Maureen called. She knows it's a little early, but she is having Thanksgiving at her house and wanted to be sure I'd come. She said I could bring a 'guest.' What do you think, Guest?" They sat down and he put his arm around her.

Olivia had been so caught up in the newness of their relationship that she hadn't even considered the issue of telling Elliot's children about it. She looked to him for guidance. "What do _you_ think, El? I mean, how will they react to us being together? For real, this time?" she clarified, recalling how Dickie had once point-blank asked her, "Ever sleep with your partner, _detective_?"

He gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry, Liv. They will be happy. They always wondered if something was going on and, uh, well, they kind of know about us now."

Her head jerked up in surprise. "They DO?!"

El backpedaled. "Well, they don't know _for sure_ that we are together right _now_, but I kinda talked to them before I approached you," he said sheepishly. "Actually, they kept asking me when I was gonna ask you out."

Olivia shook her head. Try as she might, she couldn't be mad. "Hey, did you talk to Doc Warner too? She might have had some good clinical advice for you."

Until she looked up at him and a wicked grin spread across her face, he hadn't been sure if she was serious or joking. He breathed a sign of relief then suddenly grabbed her and began tickling her. "You're gonna pay for that one, Benson!"

She squirmed and tried to fight him off. She was extremely ticklish. He soon discovered this and showed her no mercy.

"EL!" she cried between volleys of laughter. "Stop! Stop! Ohhhh!" Then she thought of a way to stop him.

"I love you!"

Elliot stopped mid-tickle and stared at her. "What did you say?" he breathed, wide-eyed.

She took his face in her hands. "I said 'I love you.'" She kissed him. "I love you."

Tears filled Elliot's eyes, causing them to shine more brilliantly than she'd ever seen them. He buried his face in her neck. "Oh baby! Liv, how I've longed to hear you say that." He remained in that position for a moment, relishing her words.

Olivia waited. "Uh, El?"

He raised his head. "What? OH. Baby, I love you too! So, so much! I'm sorry. I just got caught up in the shock of hearing you say it." He began to kiss her.

She pulled back after a moment. "I know you do. What I mean is, I heard you. Last night."

"I knew it! Anyway. All that matters is that we feel it. I love you . . . Olive!" He waited for it to take effect then attacked her neck again, laughing like Popeye.

When they had calmed down, they settled into each other's arms on the couch. "So, is it okay if I tell the kids about us—_all_ about us?" he asked.

"Sure. I mean, they kind of already know, and besides they're gonna figure it out if I show up for Thanksgiving dinner," she replied.

"_When_ you show up," he corrected, pushing back a stray hair and caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. "We're a team now…again…still. What I mean is, we're a package deal."

"You better be sure of that, El. You might change your mind and wanna get rid of me." She rubbed the back of his head.

"Never. Semper Fi, remember?" He sealed it with a kiss.

"Semper Fi," she repeated. She thought for a moment. "You know, we should get T-shirts made with that written on it."

"Brat!" he said as he leaned in and tugged on her bottom lip. Just when she was getting into it, he stopped.

"Now who's a brat!" She slapped his chest.

He laughed and disentangled himself from her. He leaned over and picked up something from the end table next to his side of the couch. He held up two DVDs. "I thought we'd watch a movie after dinner. Which do you prefer? _Prometheus_ or _The Raven_?"

She glanced back and forth between the two movies. "_Prometheus._ I'm not in the mood for a thriller right now."

"_Prometheus_ it is," he said as he got up to start the movie.

When he returned to the couch, he reclined the length of it and guided Olivia so that she was stretched out next to him and slightly above him. "Comfy?" he murmured, lowering his gaze to her lips, which he captured in a quick kiss.

She nodded and snuggled closer to him. "Mm hm. Very!" She rested her head on his strong chest. "El?"

"Yes, my Liv?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

When the movie was over, neither wanted to move. Finally Elliot glanced at his watch and groaned. "I should get going." He stood up and stretched then helped Olivia off the couch, pulling her flush against him. "I had a great evening, Liv."

She walked with him toward the door. "I did too. Thank you for dinner—" she looked and just then noticed boxes and packages of food that weren't there when they left that morning—"AND for making sure I have food in the house!"

He smiled as he put on his denim jacket. "Anything for you, my love," he said as he leaned in to kiss her goodnight.

Olivia's heart throbbed with love. His words touched her, as did everything he had done for her, especially what he was doing now—leaving without pressuring her to have sex. While they watched the movie, she had felt the evidence of his desire for her, yet here he was putting aside his own needs and placing hers above them. That did her in.

She jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Stunned, he took a step back before catching himself and steadying them. Unintentionally, his hands cradled her backside. His eyes asked the question.

Her lips answered. "Make love to me, El."

**A/N: DUN DUN! Lots of firsts in this chapter . . . and in the next, another first. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWS! I hope the next chapter does not disappoint! MM**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 "The First Time"

**A/N: At long last...Benson and Stabler do the deed! It's been a long time coming!**

In his initial shock, Elliot nearly dropped Olivia. They stared wordlessly into each other's eyes for a moment, then their passion took over. Their lips crashed together and their tongues tangled. Their kissing was frenzied as Elliot turned and started for her bedroom, still carrying her. Hands roamed, grasping and caressing whatever they could reach. Once inside the bedroom, he gently released her, her legs sliding down his and brushing against his tented crotch, eliciting a moan from him. They never broke their kiss but stood at the foot of the bed for several minutes exploring each other's clothed, heated bodies with mouths and hands.

With a guttural sigh and great effort, Elliot pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, both of them panting heavily. He framed her head between his lean, strong hands, swaying them back and forth. They had both waited so long for this moment, and he couldn't believe it was finally happening. He knew they had the physical attraction and now the love, but he wanted to be sure she was indeed ready to take this intimate step that would change their relationship forever. There was no going back after this. He knew he was ready; he was sure she could feel his erection pressing insistently between their bodies.

"Liv, darling, are you sure about this?" His eyes were darkened with his desire for her, his Liv, his love.

She never took her eyes off his as her right hand slipped between their bodies and caressed him through his jeans. "What do you think?" she said in a low, sultry voice.

_Oh dear God_, he thought as he gulped audibly. Finally he found his voice. As he smoothed her hair, he looked at her lovingly. "I think that I want to show the woman I love why they call it 'making love.'" As he leaned in to claim her lips, he guided her body with his until she was flush against the bed. He gently eased her back onto the bed, covering her body with his own. For several minutes he adored her face, neck, and upper chest with his lips and tongue. Her hands trailed up his back, exploring its flexing, muscular planes before continuing up to the back of his head. She lightly scratched up and down his scalp then his neck. As he found her sensitive spot in the crook of her neck, her head tipped back and she moaned.

_Shit, that's one of the sexiest sounds I've ever heard, _he thought as he planted one last sucking kiss to her neck before raising up. He began to unbutton his shirt.

She sat up and her hands grasped his. "Let me," she said. Her eyes never leaving his, she slowly undid each button. She pushed the shirt open and buried her face in his broad chest. She inhaled deeply, aroused by his masculine scent mixed with his cologne. Rising to her knees, she pushed the shirt down his shoulders, kissing a trail up his pectorals to his Adam's apple, which she gently suckled. She felt his groin twitch in response. Smiling, she ran her tongue back down his chest and over his right nipple. Another twitch, stronger.

"Liiiiiiv," he croaked.

She glanced up at him, lightly taking the nipple between her teeth. His head was thrown back. _If he likes that, wait until I suck on his—_

Her thoughts were interrupted by him roughly pulling her up to his level and kissing her fiercly. He quickly rid himself of his shirt. No sooner had he done so than his hands went to her waist then traveled slowly up her sides. When he got to her breasts, he took one in each large hand and lightly squeezed them. She threw her head back and arched her back, exposing her neck to him, which he covered in sucking kisses. She held on to his biceps and gave herself over to his ministrations. While his lips continued their onslaught, his hands moved to the hem of her sweater and he slid his fingers under it. She gasped when his long fingers caressed her breasts over her bra. They explored every inch of the rounded fullness, thumbs swiping over her nipples, eliciting another gasp from her.

Something broke in her and she pounced on him, attacking his lips as she pushed him backwards. He had no choice but to comply. She kissed him hungrily then leaned back and tossed her sweater over her head. She guided his hands to her back and let them rest at the clasp of her bra.

"Take it off," she commanded.

He quickly obeyed, and when the garment fell forward and exposed her bare breasts, he sucked in his breath.

"Olivia, do you have _any_ idea how beautiful you are?" he whispered reverently. One hand tangled in her hair and the other cupped and fondled a breast.

"You're starting to make me believe it," she replied. She leaned forward, allowing him to capture a nipple between his lips, which he gently tugged on. "Ohhh God, El," she moaned.

He flipped them over and leaned over her. His fingers deftly worked the button and zipper of her jeans. "Up," he commanded, grasping them by the waistline and tugging. She lifted her hips and let him slide the denim down her long, shapely legs. "Nice," he said, toying with the ribbon on the front of her red lace panties.

"You have too many clothes on," she growled as she grabbed at his belt, making quick work of it and the button of his jeans. She slid her hands inside the waistline and worked her way around until they were hefting his rounded ass. "_Very _nice," she cooed, echoing his words. She grazed her nails up and down his ass cheeks, causing him to again throw his head back in pleasure.

She got up on her knees and pressed her chest to his, the skin-to-skin contact making them both jump a little. She relished the feeling for a moment, then her hands returned to the waistline of his jeans and pushed them down his hips. He lay back and helped her slip his legs free. She tossed them on the floor and gazed first at his passion-clouded eyes then the bulge in his groin. She licked her lips hungrily.

He lay on his side watching her watch him. He could see her desire for him etched on her face, and it made his heart—and his dick—swell. He reached out and grabbed her hip, pulling her closer. He kissed her lovingly then eased her onto her back again. He raised up and placed his hands on either side of her hips. He paused, locking eyes with her, silently asking if she was ready. She nodded.

He slid her panties down over her full hips and slowly down her legs. He stopped and stared for a moment. "So fucking beautiful," he breathed.

Any other time she would have felt self-conscious at such a declaration and brazen stare. She had also thought she would be more nervous their first time together, but it was El, after all. The man who had always protected her, always made her feel safe. And now that he was making her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world, she felt completely loved and ready to give herself to him body and soul.

When he removed his briefs, her breath caught in her throat. His impressive erection jutted out from his abdomen. He was beautiful. The man was simply . . . beautiful, every single part of him. Now she was gazing on that final part of him she had never been able to see, and there too he was simply perfect. And he was hers.

He crawled over to her and stretched his body over hers. Starting at her forehead, he worked his way down her body, worshipping it with his mouth: nipping, licking, suckling every millimeter. His hands were not idle, following his lips, squeezing, caressing. It was as if he were trying to memorize her body, though he knew that this was only the first time of many to make love to the woman who held his heart. And she was his.

Her hands were not idle, either, as they explored every ripple and bulge of his muscles. She did her best to communicate her love for him with her fingertips.

When he reached the soft curls between her legs, he paused and looked up at her, trying to read her receptivity to his intentions. She dispelled all doubt by gently pushing on the back of his head. He tasted her and moaned. "God, Liv. You are so wet."

Despite herself, she blushed. She stroked his hair. "It's you, El. That's the effect you have on me."

He looked up at her and smiled then returned his attention to her pussy. For the next several minutes he loved her intimately with his tongue, finding spots and eliciting sensations none of her many previous lovers had. He brought her to her first orgasm. He watched her body twitch and her head thrash back and forth, and he thought he had never been turned on more.

When her trembling subsided, she sat up with purpose and pushed him down on the bed. He understood her intention.

"Liv, baby, you don't have to," he began, though he hoped to God she would. Kathy had never enjoyed going down on him.

"Shh." She placed a finger to his lips. "I want to, and I know you want me to," she said with a sideways glance at his very obvious arousal. She bit her lower lip. She slid down his body until she reached her target then proceeded to pleasure him orally. He had never felt something so exquisite. He realized her expertise came from her extensive list of lovers, but right now he didn't care about that and was very grateful that _he _was on the receiving end. His heart skipped when he considered that he would from then on be the _only _man to experience such intimacy with her. He enjoyed her ministrations for a few minutes then stopped her.

"Baby," he rasped. "Trust me, I am _thoroughly_ enjoying what that mouth of yours is doing, but if you keep it up, I won't last. I want to come inside you." He reached up for her and rolled her over onto her back. He slipped his fingers between her legs and stroked her.

"You ready?" he asked, although he didn't really need to ask. She was even more wet than before, a fact that made his cock stiffen impossibly more than it already was.

She simply nodded and spread her legs wider for him. _Oh my God. Elliot Stabler and I are about to make love. This IS happening! FINALLY! _she thought.

He moved over her and positioned himself at her entrance. Just the briefest touch of the tip of his penis against her folds made him shudder. He paused to take in the sensation and to give himself time to gain control of himself. Finally, he eased himself all the way inside her. They both cried out at the pleasure and the implications of what they were doing. He held still again for a moment, both adjusting to the brand-new sensations. Finally, locking eyes with her, he began a steady rhythm, which she soon picked up and matched. Their eyes never left the other's as their bodies moved in unison to their own unique love song. He couldn't believe how good it felt to be inside her, one with her at last. It was far beyond his fantasies about what it would be like to make love with her, and he had fantasized about it often, even while he was still married. Olivia had had his attention and affection from the beginning, and now they were finally culminating in what had been the last boundary in their relationship.

Elliot dragged his eyes from hers and dipped his head so as to suckle on her neck. One hand braced against the bed and the other caressed her breasts. Her hands roamed to his muscular buttocks, squeezing, guiding him as he thrust in and out. "Elllllll," she groaned when he shifted a little and hit a particularly sensitive spot. Her inner muscles clenched.

"OH MY GOD. Liv, baby! Feels so fucking good!" He thrust harder, eliciting a long, LOUD string of curses from Olivia. Who knew? Olivia Benson was a screamer! He couldn't help it; he moved his hips even faster and harder to see how loud he could make her scream.

As their peaks neared, they locked their gaze again, unable and unwilling to take their eyes off each other. They were officially one, and they savored the moment, trying to make it last as long as they could. Soon, though, their climaxes could not be put off any longer, and their bodies exploded simultaneously. This time Elliot made more noise than Olivia.

He collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. She held on to him, arms wrapped around his sweaty back, completely satiated.

Afterwards, they lay on their sides, naked, Elliot behind Olivia and his strong arm wrapped protectively around her. He kissed her cheek. "How are you feeling, my love?" he murmured in her ear.

She moaned and pressed her back up closer to him, feeling his very masculine body respond. "Mmm. _Very _good. Relaxed. El, that was amazing." She turned her head to look at him. "I can't believe you made me wait 14 years for that!"

He chuckled, pulled her closer, and gave her a languid, open-mouthed kiss. "I'm sorry, babe, but I fully intend on making it up to you." He kissed her nose.

She turned in his embrace so she could look in his eyes. She rubbed her left hand up and down his chest, her head resting on her right hand. His left hand toyed with her hair while his right smoothed up and down her back. "Seriously, though. Thank you for being so gentle and patient, for understanding that I couldn't just hop into bed with you the moment we saw each other again after so long."

He grinned. "You're welcome, Liv. But if you think about it, it's been only 3 days! I know what you mean, though."

She halfheartedly slapped his shoulder. "El! Consider it a belated birthday gift."

His eyebrows raised. "If that's my birthday gift, I can't wait to see what you get me for Christmas!" he teased.

She slapped him again. "Behave or you won't get anything!"

"Yes ma'am. I wouldn't want to be on Detective Benson's naughty list. Wait. Did I just say that? That didn't come out right?"

"Trust me, El. You _do_ want to find out what I do to naughty boys like you!" she said with a wicked gleam in her dark eyes.

He felt his cock twitch. "Oh, do I now?" He tried to play it cool, then his tone grew serious. "Liv, I hate that we're not partners anymore, although I know we couldn't do _this_," he said as he waved his hand back and forth between them.

She sighed. "Me too, El. It's just not the same without you. But don't worry. I'm a big girl. I can handle myself with anyone else who tries to be naughty with me!" She kissed his cheek, her lips tickled by his end-of-day stubble, another new thing between them. She had never seen him anything but cleanshaven.

Elliot took her hand. "Liv, I'm serious. I can't protect you like I could when I was your partner. That kills me. If anything happened to you, I—" He couldn't finish the thought.

Liv was a bit incensed and touched at the same time. "El, I love that about you, how you always were so protective of me and watched my back. But I could always take care of myself and still can."

He looked sad. "Oh. I guess you don't need me, huh?"

She was surprised. "El. Look at me." She took his face in her hands. "El, I didn't say that. I _do_ need you! Not as my work partner but as my life partner. You'll have to be patient with me, though. I'm still pretty new at this. You, you've got 25-plus years of experience with that. So yes, I _do_ need you, more than you may ever know." She kissed him to seal her words.

They were a balm to his heart. Even during his marriage, he never really felt needed by Kathy. She took care of everything. He even once told Olivia she was "the man of the house." Then again, he was to blame for that. She _had _to be the one who took responsibility; he was never home to help her. He really did feel at times like just a paycheck to her. His heart beat stronger with ever-increasing love for Olivia.

"Baby, I love you so, so much. Do you know that? _Really_ know that?" He locked eyes with her, making sure to drive his point home.

"I think I do, El. I mean, if I wasn't sure before, I am now. And I love you so very much. I always have. . . and I always will." She pressed her nude body against his and buried her face in his neck.

He rocked her for a few minutes. "Baby, baby," he soothed.

She lifted her head. "Speaking of Christmas, what do you want?"

He smirked. "Besides you, naked like this, all the time? Ow! Stop slapping me."

"Seriously, Stabler!" She rolled her eyes.

He fixed his eyes on hers once more. "Seriously? A baby."

**A/N: Whoa! Did he just say that? I hope you enjoyed their first time as much as they did. Keep reading to find out Liv's reaction to his surprise request and to get a little family time in. MM**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 "The Decision"

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the last chapter and that it wasn't too "smutty." I do intend to write more graphic smut in future stories, but for this one I wanted it to be more romantic so as to keep the focus on their love story. Thanks as always for your reviews! MM**

Olivia sat bolt upright and leaned against her headboard. Her eyes took on a distant look. She rubbed her chin.

"Liv? Say something . . . _please?_" Elliot's heart was stuck in his throat.

Still staring straight ahead, she finally spoke. "How are we going to adopt a baby by Christmas?"

Elliot breathed a sigh of relief. She was talking; that was a good sign. He chucked her chin. "Silly. I meant, I want a baby _with you_."

She didn't look at him but chewed on her fingernails. "I know," she replied. "I'm just stalling so I can process what you said and form a coherent reply."

His heart sank a little. Maybe, in his postcoital joy, he had gone a little too far too soon. On the other hand, nothing was typical about their relationship, including timing.

He took her hands and folded them in his, leaning forward to capture her wide eyes with his. "Look, Liv, I'm sorry I just sprung that on you. I mean, I know we just started this relationship and everything is still new, but it's _us_, Liv. We have history. We've seen the other at their worst, and we've been through some crazy shit and yet here we are. Liv . . . . Liv, look at me." She had lowered her gaze, so he gently guided her face back toward him.

He continued. "We've already lost 14 years. Neither of us is getting any younger, so I really didn't see the point in waiting to bring this up. Granted, I did intend to talk about it in a less post-sex, more clothed way," he chuckled.

She gave him a weak smile. That encouraged him. "Liv, I'll be honest. Especially after what Kathy's put me through with Eli, I thought I was done having kids. I'm 46, all of my kids but Eli are grown up, and soon they could make me a grandpa. But then you and I . . . and now I want . . . Liv, tell me. Don't you still want to be a mother?" He gripped her hands tightly, his eyes hopeful.

She sighed. "I don't know. I mean, yes, but I had all but given up hope it'd ever happen. I'm just scared . . . scared to dream again and then have it taken away." She choked back a sob.

Instantly he understood. _Calvin_. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. Her floodgates opened and she sobbed against his chest. "Shhhh, baby," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. It's been 2 years now, hasn't it?" He didn't need to mention the boy's name; he didn't _want_ to. She was upset enough as it was.

She sniffled. "Almost to the day," she mumbled into his chest.

He rubbed her back in soothing circles, his chin resting on the top of her head. He pressed a kiss into her hair. "Honey, I know how much that hurt you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. Baby, don't cry, please." He rocked her back and forth to comfort her as much as himself. He knew the pain of having a child taken away.

She let him comfort her for several minutes. Finally she reached for a tissue and dabbed her eyes and blew her nose. "I must look SO sexy right now. I bet you wanna jump me and start making a baby this instant."

His heart melted. "Liv, you are _always_ gorgeous to me, no matter what. Look, we can talk about this later. Just promise me we _will_ talk about it later. But if you're worried about whether you'll make a good mom, stop right now. You will make an excellent mother, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather have child number six with."

She couldn't help it; a smile played at the corners of her mouth then widened. "Six kids. Wow. You're a glutton for punishment, you know?"

He shrugged. "What can I say? I'm Catholic." He leaned back against the headboard, taking her with him. She lay her head on his shoulder.

"Boy or girl?" she said.

"I was thinking boy. That way it'd make it an even six kids: three girls, three boys. But now that we're together, I'd love to have a little girl. She would be the most lovely girl in the world . . . after her mommy, of course." He squeezed her shoulder. "What about you?"

She hesitated. "El, can we talk about this later? It's late." She started to get up from the bed.

He was confused by her reaction; he had said they could talk later then she asked him the question. He reached for her arm and held her in place. "Of course, sweetheart. Just promise me that we _will_ talk about it again?"

She nodded. "I promise." She pointed her thumb over her shoulder. "I'm going to take a shower."

He moved so that he stretched across the bed on his stomach, propping his head up with his arm. "Need help washing your back?" He smirked.

She leaned down and kissed him. "Maybe next time," she said. Truth was, she needed some alone time to process everything they had just talked about.

He looked a little disappointed, but it quickly passed. "OK, baby. I'll be right here. Hurry back." He arched his eyebrows suggestively.

She tossed a pillow at him. "Then I'd need _another_ shower, Stabler. Put the horse in the barn for the night," she said and sauntered off to her shower.

…..

The next morning, Elliot did his level best to get Olivia to take a personal day or at least go in later.

"El, I can't! I just took personal days. Besides, if I do that now, Cragen will know it has something to do with you." She tried to ignore what his mouth was doing to her under the sheet, but his skilled tongue was making it difficult to put two words together. "What about—_ohhhhh—_you? Don't you have to _goooooo _to work in an hour? Oh God, _Ellllll_!" She arched her back off the bed as her climax hit.

He crawled up her body and peeked his head out from the sheet, his shit-eating grin on his face. He kissed her; she could taste herself on his lips. "Nope! On Tuesdays and Thursdays I go in later. Tactical training days." He slid his tongue in her mouth.

"Oh. Good to know," she said when he let her come up for air. "Trust me, El. I would love nothing more than to stay right here, but you understand."

He sighed and rested his chin on her chest. Though he wasn't doing it on purpose—this time—his eyes nearly did her in. She took one look in his baby blues and for a second considered taking a day. She groaned. She really needed to go in to work, if nothing more than for a distraction so she could reflect more on what they had discussed the night before.

She sighed. "El, I really gotta go, but perhaps I can give you a little something to hold you over?" She cocked an eyebrow before sliding under the sheets to return his favor.

"Well, I guess that'll have to do-OH FUCK!" he cried as her mouth closed over him and began to slide up and down. "Ahhhhh! OK. Since you put it that way . . . " He folded his arms behind his head and lay back into the pillows, thinking he could get used to waking up this way.

**Elliot Stabler's apartment, 76-22 249th Street, Queens**

**Wednesday, October 31, 2012**

All week Olivia had thought of little else than Elliot's desire to have a baby with her. She had successfully avoided the topic since then, which wasn't too difficult considering how they spent much of their time together exploring and discovering each other in bed, making up for lost time. However, as they lay wrapped in each other's arms afterwards, she could see the question in his eyes. He never pushed her to talk, but she sensed tonight it would be unavoidable. She had spent last night at his apartment for the first time and was preparing to stay tonight as well. It was Halloween and she had not wanted him to be alone on a night when children would be around and he would be reminded of Eli.

She was glad she was there. Elliot sat on his leather sofa, leaning forward on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. His eyes were a stormy blue, distant and sad. Wordlessly, she sat down next to him, put her arm around him, and lay her head on his shoulder. He didn't move for several minutes, simply staring straight ahead. Suddenly he stood and paced the room. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"He should be here! I should be taking my boy out trick or treating right now!" he shouted.

A frown marred Olivia's features. Inside she was bitterly angry at Kathy for keeping Eli from the only man he'd known as a father, but she wanted to keep El calm and so kept her emotions in check. She let him pace and work out his frustration on the carpet.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Elliot stopped, seemingly unsure what to do. Finally he managed, "Could you . . . ?"

"Of course." Olivia jogged to the door and gave the sugar-seeking goblins and ghouls the appropriate "Oh aren't you scary" lines along with a handful of candy.

When she returned to the living room, Elliot was slumped on the couch, looking beat up. When he looked up at her, her heart fell. His eyes were red and tear-filled. "I . . . I can't . . . too hard," he choked out.

As she sat next to him, he fell against her shoulder and sobbed. She cradled his head, trying valiantly and failing to hold back her own tears. Embarrassed, he sat up and wiped his nose and sniffled hard.

"He should be here," he said again, this time his voice void of any emotion despite the anger radiating off him.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his bicep and moved closer to him. "Yes, he should be. El, we'll get him. The law is on your side." She stroked his face.

Just then, the doorbell rang again. Elliot jumped a little. "Please don't get that," he whispered. "I'm not in the mood. I just can't handle it right now." He looked at her.

She nodded then kissed him. "You want a beer?"

"Sure. Should be some cold ones in the fridge."

She brought them each a bottle and sat next to him, tucking her legs under her. She thought for a moment. "El, why haven't you sued Kathy for violating the custody agreement?"

He took a long drag from his beer then settled back into the couch. He sighed. "I should have, but I was afraid if I did, she'd disappear with Eli and neither I nor my other kids would see him again. I couldn't bear that. I couldn't put them through that." He shook his head vigorously, as if to ward off the terrible thought.

She put her hand on his shoulder, which he covered with his own. He smiled weakly at her.

"She shouldn't get away with that. Do the kids get to see him much?"

"They're all pretty busy with their own lives, but yeah, they see him whenever they go visit Kathy or their grandmother. They keep me filled in. He . . . he started kindergarten this year." He sniffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Draining his beer, he stood up. "You want another?"

"Sure." While he was gone, Olivia remembered that Eli's fifth birthday was approaching. She would never forget that date. As she remembered the events of that day, a plan began to formulate in her mind. She was broken out of her reverie when Elliot returned, holding a bottle out to her.

She flashed him a smile. "Thanks."

"So," he started, suddenly looking sheepish, rolling his beer bottle between his lean fingers.

_Here it comes_, she thought. "So . . . "

"Have you thought any about—"

He was cut off by her cell phone ringing. He groaned. He watched as she wrote in her field note pad.

"Got it. On my way." She hung up and looked apologetically at Elliot.

"El, I'm sorry. If you need me to stay—" she began.

He held up a hand. "Hey, I was a detective at one point. I know how it is. What'd you catch?"

"DV with a child involved in Hell's Kitchen. Estranged husband has a knife and is threatening to take the child." She gave him a quick peck and gathered her gun and badge.

"I can take you," he offered.

Not wanting to explain to her colleagues why Elliot brought her, she shook her head. "I've got the cruiser, remember? I'll be back as soon as I can."

He walked her to the door. "I'll be okay." He answered the question in her eyes. "Go."

She pressed her lips to his. "Don't wait up." She started to go then paused and looked over her shoulder. "I love you."

He smiled. "I love you too."

**375 W. 43****rd**** Street, Apartment 2B, Hell's Kitchen**

By the time Olivia arrived on scene, Amaro was leading a cuffed man out of the apartment. "What happened?"

"Perp was pissed because his soon-to-be ex wanted sole custody. Just as she was about to take him trick-or-treating, he bust in here with a knife, grabbed the kid, and sliced her."

The disgruntled man struggled against his restraints and Nick's tight hold. "Bitch deserved that and more!" he spat. "She was trying to keep me from my kid!"

"Well, you shoulda thought of that before attacking her, smart guy. In jail you won't be able to see your boy at all," Nick retorted then called over his shoulder to Olivia.

"Vic is at St. Luke's-Roosevelt. I'll take him to the station; why don't you go get her statement? Fin and Amanda are with the kid."

Olivia got the information from a uniformed officer and headed to the hospital.

**St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital Emergency Room**

Olivia approached the triage desk and asked about her victim, Monica Bryant, 34-year-old white female. The nurse informed her she was in surgery. Just then a man in blue scrubs, mask, and surgical gown appeared.

"Detective Benson?"

Olivia turned to him. "Yes. I'm here about—"

The doctor stepped around the desk and motioned to a quiet spot a few feet away. "Monica Bryant. I'm one of her surgeons, Dr. Garrett. She suffered a cut to her face, but I'm more concerned about the deep wound to her abdomen. He stabbed her too. We're fixing her up, but there was too much trauma done to her uterus and we had to remove it. She'll be in Recovery shortly and you can take her statement when she wakes up."

"Thank you, Dr. Garrett." He nodded and left.

Forty-five minutes later Olivia sat at Monica Bryant's bedside as the pale woman's eyes opened. She blinked a few times and squinted at Olivia.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Monica, I'm Detective Olivia Benson with the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Do you remember what happened this evening?"

The woman thought for a moment, then panic filled her features.

"Where's my son? Is Miles okay? I want my son! He'll hurt him!" She tried to get up from her hospital bed despite being connected to several monitors and an IV. She clutched her abdomen in pain.

Olivia gently restrained her and helped her back into bed. "Monica, your son is fine. He's with ACS for now, but as soon as you're better, he'll go home with you. Who did this to you?"

Monica calmed down and described how her estranged husband had attacked her. She began to sob. "They say—the doctors said they had to remove my uterus. I can't have any more kids!"

Olivia tried to comfort her. She couldn't help but think of her own situation. This young woman had her choice removed from her, but Olivia still had hers. She made her decision and planned to tell Elliot, but first she had to wrap up this case and take care of some other business.

She finished taking the rest of Monica's statement then headed to the precinct. After conferring with Amaro, Fin, and Rollins, she set about typing up her reports. When she was finished, she pulled up a search database on her computer. She tapped out a couple words and found what she was looking for, noting it in her field notebook. She looked at her watch: 12:42. Her plan would have to wait until the morning.

**Elliot Stabler's apartment, Queens**

Olivia undressed and slipped into bed behind Elliot. She wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey beautiful," he said as he turned over to face her and gave her a closed-mouth kiss. "So what happened with the case?"

"I'll tell you about it later. El," she started.

He could see she was nervous, which was unusual for her. He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks. "What is it, Liv?"

"I'm going to stop taking my birth control."

His breath hitched. "You wha-? _Really_? You mean . . ." He could scarcely form the words.

Olivia took his head in her hands and kissed him. "Yes, El. I want to have a baby. With you."

"Oh Liv! Baby, that's great! Oh you're going to be the most wonderful mother." He held her tight then began to kiss her neck. "Why don't we . . . . get started . . . right . . . now?" he said in that low, sexy voice she loved.

"Mmmm. No arguments here."

As they made love, Olivia couldn't help but think about her age and how that and birth control could make them in for a long wait. She hoped she was wrong.

**A/N: YES! Liv wants to have a baby with El. Up next, a confrontation and a celebration. Please keep those awesome reviews coming. They are like Christmas presents! MM**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 "The Confrontation & The Celebration"

**A/N: There are details here that I have made up because I could not find reference to them in the series. These details are my attempt to fill in those blanks. MM**

**Elliot Stabler's apartment, Queens**

**Thursday, November 1, 2012**

Olivia got only a couple hours of sleep. She and Elliot had made love twice ("for good measure, to make sure it takes," he had said with a wink), and she lay awake nearly two hours thinking of the implications of her decision to have a baby and of the plan she intended to carry out later that day.

She looked at his peacefully sleeping form, a small smile playing on his handsome features. Her heart swelled, a feeling she'd had only with Elliot. _This is love_, she thought. She hoped that love would be enough if she failed to become pregnant. She pushed the thought out of her mind. They had been through so many horrendous events together and had saved each other's lives numerous times. If they could survive all that, they'd get through infertility. Still, the idea of a tiny version of Elliot or of her being produced from their love made her heart skip, and she prayed that Elliot's God would work that miracle.

She left him a note stating she was going to work, but unbeknownst to him, she had actually called in and said she would be in later. She had something she needed to do first.

**St. Michael's Hospital Intensive Care Unit, Newark, New Jersey**

Olivia approached the main nurses' desk in the center of the unit. "Hi. My name is Detective Olivia Benson, NYPD. I'm looking for Kathy Mulligan." She flashed her badge.

The harried nurse she spoke to had a phone cradled under her ear and was rifling through charts. She looked around and pointed off to Olivia's right. "Room 303," she mouthed.

Olivia nodded her thanks and headed in that direction. As she approached the blond woman, whose back was to her, her steps became a little less confident. Then she remembered why she was there, and she went into her "Badass Benson" mode.

"Kathy!" she called out.

The woman whipped around at the familiar voice. "Olivia! What—what are you doing here? How'd you find me?"

Olivia scoffed. "I'm a detective, or did you forget that? I knew you worked at a hospital and I tracked you down under your maiden name."

Kathy Mulligan, formerly Stabler, looked down at the ground, cheeks flaming. Then her head snapped up angrily. "Did Elliot send you? Wait . . . are you and he—_together_?"

Olivia stepped closer and motioned to Elliot's ex-wife to follow her to a small room reserved for family members visiting patients. "Olivia, I can't do this right now. I have patients—" she began as she pointed behind her.

Olivia cut her off, whirling around after closing the door behind them. Kathy stood with her arms folded over her chest. "Whether Elliot and I are together_,_ Kathy, is _none_ of your business. What you need to know is that I care VERY much for him and I know the truth about Eli. He may not be Elliot's son, but you know El's been nothing but a father to him, the only one that boy has known as 'Daddy.'" She pointed her finger at Kathy for emphasis.

Kathy tried to explain, but Olivia wasn't hearing it. "No, you listen to _me_, Kathy. Either you start honoring the custody arrangement and let Elliot see his _son_, or I'll haul you in for paternity fraud. Take your pick, but you and I both know the right thing to do. Don't make it harder on anyone than it already has been." She crossed her arms, waiting for the shocked woman to respond.

Kathy looked at the floor for several moments, weighing her options. Once again, Olivia Benson was scaring the pants off her. If she were honest with herself, Eli had been asking constantly about Elliot, and as mad as she was at Elliot, it broke her heart to see her son missing the man he knew as his father and not knowing why he couldn't see him. She huffed and raised her steel-blue eyes to Olivia's usually mocha ones. Right now they were almost black, and that scared Kathy even more, but damned if she was going to show it, not to her ex-husband's former partner, the one she always suspected he was sleeping with, the one he had mortgaged their house for in order to bail her out of jail.

"Fine!" she spat. "But I'm doing this for Eli, _not_ for Elliot and _certainly_ not because you waltzed in here with your gun and badge and threatened me."

_Nice try, bitch,_ Olivia thought. "I'm glad you're being reasonable about this. Maureen will call you and tell you when to drop Eli off." Olivia turned to go then looked over her shoulder. "Oh, and if you're thinking of pulling a disappearing act, don't bother. I've got eyes on you,"  
she said then strutted off without looking back.

…

When she got to the cruiser, Olivia looked up the information she'd written down the night before and dialed a number.

"Hello?"

"Maureen? Maureen Stabler? I mean, Reigel?"

"Yes, I'm Maureen. Who is this? Wait—your voice sounds familiar. _Olivia?!_"

Olivia smiled in relief. "Yes, Maureen, it's Olivia Benson. How are you? It's been a long time."

The young woman gushed in excitement. "I can't believe it. I'm fine. I got married. Well, I guess you know that. How are you? Are you and Dad-? I mean, he told us he was going to contact you. I guess he did!"

"Congratulations on your marriage. I'm doing okay, actually. Yes, your dad and I are together. He told me he had talked to you beforehand, but I take it he hasn't followed up," she chuckled. _Typical El_, she thought. She wouldn't have been surprised if he just had just shown up with her at Maureen's on Thanksgiving without telling the kids about their relationship. Speaking of Thanksgiving . . . .

"Maureen, the reason I'm calling is that I need to ask you a favor."

"Sure, Liv. Anything. What is it?"

Olivia explained her plan to Elliot's oldest daughter, who was thrilled and enthusiastically agreed to it. They settled the details and exchanged small talk before hanging up. Olivia sat back in her seat, relieved. She smiled as she thought of how happy Elliot was going to be once her plan was realized.

**Steve & Maureen Reigel's house, 40 Wensley Drive, Queens**

**Saturday, November 17, 2012**

As they went up the steps leading up to his eldest daughter's home, Elliot grumbled for the 15th time since they left his apartment. "Why did she have to choose _this_ day of all days to celebrate Thanksgiving? So the good doctor's family is celebrating Thursday. Why couldn't Maureen have our meal on Wednesday?"

Olivia held back a smile. She rubbed his back. "I know this is a hard day for you, El, being Eli's birthday. I'm sure she knew and just couldn't work around it. I'm here; we'll get through this day together."

He simply gave her a weak smile and a peck on the cheek before knocking on the door.

Once inside, Olivia was stampeded by the Stabler clan. If they were upset or surprised about their father being with her, they didn't show it. Maureen, Kathleen, and Lizzie all hugged her warmly, and Dickie/Richard stuck out his hand sheepishly. Tears dampened her eyes as she took in how they were adults now and she remembered how she had watched them grow up.

"Olivia, I'd like you to meet my husband Steven," Maureen said, motioning to the tall, thin sandy-haired man standing next to her. "Steven, this is Olivia Benson. She and my dad used to be partners. Well, in a way they still are!" she said with a smirk.

"Maureen!" Elliot chided. Olivia shook her head and mouthed "It's okay."

Steve shook her hand firmly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Olivia. Welcome to our home. We're glad you're here."

Olivia liked him instantly. "The pleasure is mine. Thank you for having us." She turned to Maureen. "What can I do to help?"

Maureen waved her off. "Kathleen, Lizzie, and I got it covered. You can, however, help me with something. Dad, is it okay if I borrow your girlfriend?"

Elliot smiled, liking the sound of "girlfriend" and happy that his children accepted Olivia as such. "No problem, sweetie. We men are going to watch the game until it's time to eat." He, Dickie, and Steven went into the family room.

Maureen pulled Olivia into the kitchen, where Kathleen and Lizzie were already waiting. She motioned for them to come closer. She spoke in hushed tones.

"OK. I got a cake and presents in one of the guest rooms. They should be here any minute. Does Dad suspect anything, Liv?"

Olivia sighed. She hated to deceive Elliott, but she wanted the whole family together for this event and what better day for it. "No, but he's more than a little upset that we're celebrating Thanksgiving today of all days." She suddenly was overcome with emotion. She couldn't wait to see Elliot's face when he realized what they were really celebrating.

Kathleen spoke up. "Just so you know, we're on your side. We tried to do this ourselves to no avail. Dad's lucky to have you. We all are."

"Yes! We are!" Elliot's other two daughters chimed in.

Olivia sniffled. "Oh girls! I'm the lucky one. And this was just something that had to be done, whether or not your dad and I are together."

Just then the doorbell rang. All four women stood motionless, eyes wide. Finally Maureen snapped out of it. "Dad!" she yelled. "Can you get that? We're kind of busy in here." She stifled a giggle.

They peeked around the kitchen doorway, which gave a view into the living room and the front door. They heard Elliot mumble, "Who could that be? Everyone's here."

Steven and Dickie silently entered the living room and stood near the girls, not wanting to miss this moment. Dickie pulled out his cell phone and activated the video recorder application.

Elliot opened the door. There stood his ex-wife and . . .

"DADDY!" A curly-haired blond boy rocketed across the threshold and into Elliot's shaking arms.

"ELI? Oh son! I've missed you SO much!" Elliot hugged the boy tightly and kissed his cheeks. Tears were streaming down his face.

"I've missed you too, Daddy. Ow, you're squeezing me too hard!" Eli squirmed.

Elliot laughed and sniffled hard, setting Eli on the ground and squatting down to his eye level. "Here. Let me look at you."

Olivia took in the scene, arms crossed, one finger under her nose, her trademark move when she was trying to control her emotions. Tears filled her eyes.

"Daddy, I'm five today!" Eli said as he held up one hand. He looked around. "Where's the balloons and the presents?"

Everyone laughed. "Yes, you are, son. That's why we're all here today, isn't it?" he said as he turned to look at Olivia and his daughters, who had ventured from the kitchen.

Maureen put her hand on her father's shoulder. "I'm sorry we had to let you believe it was for Thanksgiving, Dad."

Kathy cleared her throat. Understandably, everyone had forgotten about her. Elliot stood and gave a short cough. "Kathy."

"Elliot. Here are Eli's things." She handed him a two duffel bags and a couple stuffed animals. "I'll pick him up this time next Saturday." She folded her arms across her chest.

"_Next_ Sat-? What about his kindergarten?" Elliot asked.

"I've already informed the school he won't be there," Kathy replied.

Elliot rubbed his forehead. "Damn it. I have to work."

Olivia leaned forward. "That's taken care of. You have the week off."

His eyes widened. He turned back to his ex-wife, who clearly looked uncomfortable.

"Kathy, I . . . thank you," Elliot said.

Kathy peered around his shoulder and looked at Olivia. "Don't thank me. Thank _her_." She squatted down and hugged Eli. "I'll pick you up at Daddy's next Saturday, okay, Eli?"

"OK, Mommy. I go have my second birthday party now. Bye!" He ran over to his sisters and brother.

"Girls, Richard, I'll talk to you later. Goodbye, Elliot. Olivia." She nodded in Olivia's direction.

"Goodbye, Kathy." Elliot shut the door, leaning against it a moment to gather his composure.

While Eli showed his siblings and "Uncle" Steven the toys he'd brought with him from his "first" birthday party, Elliot went over to Olivia. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes were shining.

"So this was your doing, hm?" he murmured.

She laced her arms around his neck. "Maybe," she grinned.

He took one of her hands and held it to his chest. "Liv, I don't know how to—" His voice broke.

She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Shh. El, I know. Go be with your son."

He closed his eyes and held her closer. "Thank you," he whispered before releasing her and seeking out Eli. He scooped him up and raised him over his head, eliciting a fit of giggles from the boy.

Maureen appeared at her side. "You did a good thing, Liv. I haven't seen Dad this happy in months. And somehow I don't think it all has to do with Eli." She smiled and placed her hand on Olivia's arm. "Come on. Let's eat before Eli dies of impatience to open his gifts."

Throughout the meal, every so often Elliot would look at Olivia, smile, and squeeze her hand or her knee. "I love you," he mouthed more than once. Eli kept everyone entertained with his five-year-old wisdom and excitement. Olivia took a picture of Elliot holding him while he blew out the candles on his cake, making plans later to print it out and frame it for him.

"Daddy, you and the lady didn't get me any presents," Eli announced sadly when all his gifts were opened.

Elliot laughed and drew his son back onto his lap. "Well, Eli, I'm sorry about that, but today was a surprise for Daddy. I didn't know you would be here. And this 'lady' is Daddy's special friend, Olivia. She helped Mommy the day you were born." He kissed the boy's curls.

"Oh right. You told me that story, Daddy. Hi 'Livia. It's okay you didn't bring me a present."

Olivia laughed. "I tell you what, Eli. Tomorrow you, your daddy, and I will go shopping and we'll get you whatever you want, okay?"

Eli leaned back and looked up at Elliot. "Really?"

Elliot chuckled then glanced at Olivia. "Really. I think that's a great idea. What do you think about staying at Daddy's this week?"

Eli thought for a moment. "OK." He looked at Olivia. "Will 'Livia be there?"

Elliot and Olivia exchanged glances. "She will, when she's not working. Is that okay with you?"

"That's fine, Daddy. I like 'Livia. She's pretty," he said, earning another round of laughter.

After eating, they settled into the family room to watch movies. Dickie insisted on first pick, "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle."

"It's _hilarious_," he insisted. "There's this crazy guy in there, Freakshow***. He's awesome."

Begrudgingly they went along with his choice. At the end, they all agreed the best thing about the movie was the Freakshow character.

By the time Elliot, Olivia, and Eli returned to Elliot's apartment that evening, Eli was out cold, sleeping on his father's shoulder. Elliot lay him gently on the bed in his guest bedroom then sat at the foot of the bed, simply staring at the boy.

Olivia stood behind him and put her arm around his shoulder. He put an arm around her waist and drew her onto his lap. For a moment he just gazed into her eyes, a contented smile on his face.

"I don't know how you did it, and I don't think I want to, but thank you." He brushed her hair back and kissed her gently. "I love you so much," he whispered, palming her cheeks.

"I love you too, El. I'm just happy Eli is back in your life. Despite what any DNA test says, _you're_ his father."

That night, when he was certain Eli was down for the count, Elliot scooped Olivia into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He slowly undressed her, kissing every inch of exposed skin as he did. He lay her back on the bed and reverently made love to her, drawing from the well of his feelings for her, which that day grew just a little deeper.

**A/N: Some of you may have seen that coming, but I hope you like how it played out. Up next, Elliot reunites with his former colleagues and everyone celebrates Christmas. I hope to get it posted by Christmas, but if I don't, Merry Christmas everyone! MM**

*****Christopher Meloni played the character of Freakshow in the Harold & Kumar White Castle movie. He was also a KKK leader in one of their other movies. I just thought I'd have a little fun inserting that. MM**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 "The Peace"

**A/N: Props to my beta and friend Tonya for bouncing ideas back and forth and for catching errors and inconsistencies and to Jo for her counsel. MM**

**Sunday, November 18, 2012**

As they promised, Elliot and Olivia took Eli toy shopping. Elliot knew he went overboard, but he couldn't help himself. He rationalized that this would also be part of Eli's Christmas. He loved how Eli had taken to Olivia; her own devotion to his son was quite evident. He watched them examine and discuss toys and thought he hadn't been this at peace in a very long time. He was thrilled Olivia had decided to try to get pregnant. He knew without a doubt she'd make a wonderful mother, and he couldn't wait to make her one.

**16****th**** Precinct, Manhattan SVU squad room**

**Monday, November 19, 2012**

Olivia was busy catching on up paperwork and fielding phone calls when suddenly Nick whistled. Confused, she turned her head to see what caused such a reaction. Her mouth dropped when she saw a delivery person heading into the squad room with a huge arrangement of red roses.

"I'm looking for Olivia Benson?" He looked around the room.

Olivia cleared her throat, cheeks red. "Uh, that's me."

"Sign here, please."

Olivia scribbled her name and took the heavy glass vase and set it on her desk. The roses smelled heavenly and there was baby's breath weaved among the flowers.

Nick sat at his desk with a smirk playing on his lips, while Munch and Amanda wandered over to see what the fuss was. Fin stood by, arms crossed, a knowing look on his face.

"Ah, what have we here?" Munch queried. "A mystery suitor?"

"He ain't no mystery," Fin muttered.

"What was that, Fin?" Amanda asked.

Olivia shot him a look. Fin nodded in understanding.

Nick didn't take the hint, however. He stood up and peered into the flowers. "Hey, there's a card!" He took it and held it up.

Olivia snatched it from him with a scowl. "Mind your own business," she said as she punched his arm.

He pretended it hurt. "Well, can you blame us for being curious? These past few weeks you've been more chipper than _I've_ ever seen you, and today you get a big-ass bouquet of red roses. C'mon, Liv. Who's the guy?"

She ignored him while she read the card. "_Liv, there are 4 dozen roses, 1 for each week we've been together. This past month has been the happiest of my life. Semper Fi. I love you. ~ El"_

"Earth to Liv." Nick snapped his fingers in front of her face.

She snapped out of her trance. "Huh? Oh. Sorry." She sat down at her desk, dreamily admiring the roses.

Nick got a phone call and the others got tired of waiting.

Fin approached Olivia and sat on the corner of her desk. "Liv, don't you think it's time you tell everyone?"

Olivia sighed and rubbed her forehead. Elliot had indeed recently asked when she thought it was a good time for him to reconnect with the squad. Now was as good a time as any.

"You're right. Let me call him." She smiled up at Fin as she dialed her cell phone.

He smiled back and patted her shoulder before stepping away.

She went to a quiet corner of the squad room to have some privacy.

"Hello, gorgeous."

Her heart skipped. Olivia Benson was without a doubt a beautiful woman, but she never showed any haughtiness or indication that she knew it. When Elliot said it, however, he made her feel it.

"Hey handsome. How are things going with Eli?"

"Oh, we're just having a blast, aren't we, Eli?" he called to his son in the background. Olivia heard him respond but couldn't make out the words. Elliot chuckled. "God, I missed him. Liv, I . . . you . . . you're incredible, you know that?"

She looked at the roses and smiled. "Well, getting four dozen roses gave me a clue. Thank you, El. You are so sweet. They are just beautiful. But you got me in trouble, you know."

"Oh? How so? Cragen didn't get on you, did he? I'll talk to him," he replied.

"No, no. Not Cragen. I mean, everyone in the squad room wants to know who my mystery man is." She paused.

"And you're wanting to know if I think it's time to show my ugly mug," he finished.

"Well, I don't want to take away from your time with Eli."

He scoffed. "Nonsense. I'll just bring him with me and we can all go to lunch afterwards. How's that sound?" There was a shuffling noise then his voice was muffled. "Hey buddy, you wanna go see where Daddy used to work and where Olivia works now then we'll go get pizza?"

Olivia didn't have any problems understanding the boy's exuberant response. She laughed. "El, are you sure?"

"Babe, I'm sure. We'll be there in around 30 minutes. I love you." He made a kissing sound into the phone.

She turned toward the wall and covered her mouth. "I love you, too" and made a kissing sound. "Bye."

She returned to her desk. "Listen up. Since you all insist on nosing into my private life—" she shot a glance at Nick—"my 'mystery man' has agreed to come to the station and meet you all. So behave . . . or else."

The room was buzzing with her colleagues' murmuring, wondering who the man could be. She looked at Fin, who winked.

She tried to focus on work, but she did nothing more than move piles around her desk. She was rearranging the flowers for the eighth time when she heard Munch's surprised voice.

"Well, if it isn't Elliot Stabler! What happened? Did you ride in on the flood waters of Hurricane Sandy?" He clapped his former colleague on the back then they hugged.

"John, good to see you. Still deep in conspiracy theories?" Elliot asked.

"You mock."

Elliot raised his arms in mock innocence. "I mock not."***

"Just you wait." Munch noticed Eli and crouched down to his level. "And could this be young master Eli? Last time I saw you, you were yea high." He held out his hand to indicate Eli's height.

Eli looked questioningly at his father. Elliot bent down and explained that he and "Uncle Munch" used to work together. Eli didn't say anything but just nodded and stared at Munch, who ruffled the boy's hair before standing up.

Olivia approached them. Elliot wanted to kiss her, but he could tell that while she was open to introducing him to the squad as the man in her life, she wasn't quite ready for public displays of affection. He let her set the tone and followed her lead.

"All right everyone. Listen up, cuz I'm only gonna say this once: Yes, Elliot and I are dating. Yes, he and Kathy are divorced. No, it's not going to interfere with my job and I'm not going to answer any personal questions. It's enough that you know he's the mystery man."

She turned to Elliot. "Let me introduce you to the newest members of the squad." She motioned for Nick and Amanda to come closer. "Elliot, Amanda Rollins, Nick Amaro. Amanda was with the Atlanta SVU. Nick transferred from Narcotics and Warrants. Nick, Amanda: Elliot Stabler, my former partner."

Elliot shook their hands. "Good to finally meet you. Liv's had nothing but words of praise for you two, so I know you've got her back."

"You know we do. That's how we roll," Nick said, discreetly sizing up the former detective to see if he merited the legend status he seemed to have around the 1-6. "And who's the little guy?" Nick asked in a kid-friendly voice.

"This is my son Eli," Elliot answered. "Eli, say hello to Detectives Rollins and Amaro."

"Hello. Do you have a gun like 'Livia does?"

Amanda bent down to Eli's level. "Yes, we do. But we only get them out when there are really, really bad, scary guys around trying to hurt us." She looked up at Elliot. "Mind if I take him to get a soda?"

He glanced at Olivia, who nodded. "Sure, go ahead. Here, let me give you some money," he said, taking out his wallet.

Amanda waved him off. "My treat. Eli, wanna come with me and get a soda? I'll show you where we get the bad guys to tell us what bad things they did." Eli enthusiastically agreed and took Amanda's hand.

"Don't be too long, son. We're going to have lunch with Olivia soon," Elliot called after him, doubting the boy even heard him. He smiled.

"Well, if it ain't the bulldog himself. How you been, Stabler?" Fin approached and fist-bumped Elliot before surprising him with a hug.

"Fin! Good to see you. I'm good." He looked at Olivia, who smiled. "Real good." He looked at the floor, scratching his chin. "Look, man, I really appreciate—"

Fin cut him off. "Nah, man. It's all good. You know I'd never let anything happen to our Liv." He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "Like I told Liv, I'm happy you two finally stopped pretending you didn't have feelings for each other and are together now, but if you break her heart again . . . " He shook his head and a menacing glint shone in his eyes.

Elliot nodded in understanding, hands on his hips. "Gotcha, but I don't plan on doing anything of the sort. Hey man, we're gonna take off, but it was good to see ya. Oh and I know you've got her '6' and all—" he leaned in and lowered his voice—"_but you're still not me._ See ya," he said, clapping Fin on the shoulder, both of them chuckling.

Once the others had gone back to their prior business, Elliot took a look around. When he thought no one was paying attention, he snuck his arm around Olivia's waist and guided her to the squad room's side entrance. "What do you say we go find Eli and grab some lunch? Oh, by the way, is the Cap around? I can't pop in here and not say hi."

Olivia shook her head. "Meeting with the Chief of D's. I told him you'd be here, but he was running late."

"Next time." He glanced at her. "If that's okay with you that I become a familiar face around here again. I mean, to come see you."

She appreciated his concern for her comfort and need for discretion around her colleagues, but the reunion had gone more smoothly than she had anticipated and she relaxed a bit. "It's more than okay," she said, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Babe."

…..

**Elliot Stabler's apartment**

**Monday evening, November 19, 2012**

After Eli was tucked in bed, Elliot and Olivia cuddled on the couch while having a glass of wine. At lunch they hadn't had much of a chance to have "adult talk" and Olivia wanted to know what it was like for him to step into the 1-6 for the first time in nearly two years.

She was lounging against him, her feet tucked behind her. She put her chin on his shoulder and looked up at him pensively.

"I know that look, Liv. What's on your mind?" he asked.

"Was it difficult to be back in the squad room? I mean . . . " She didn't want to upset him.

He ran a hand across the back of his neck and exhaled. "I'll be honest. Even though I've worked through a lot of shit in the last year or so, it was rough at first. The memories . . ." He took a deep breath. "But having Eli with me and knowing that we're together now helped me through it." He took a sip of wine before continuing. "It was great to see Munch and Fin again. I like Rollins and Amaro. And I think Eli has a little crush on Rollins!"

They both laughed. Olivia was relieved. Part of the reason she had wanted to put off his return to the precinct as long as possible was her own fears of him not being ready. Clearly she had had nothing to worry about, and she was glad she no longer had to be secretive about their relationship.

She placed a hand on his knee. "I'm glad it went well. Thank you for coming, especially unplanned like that."

He leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on her wine-reddened lips. "For you, Liv, anything," he whispered before capturing her lips and slipping his tongue inside her mouth.

They kissed for a few minutes, then Olivia quickly sat upright as a thought occurred to her. "El, what are we going to do Thursday, the _real_ Thanksgiving Day?"

He looked confused. "We already celebrated it. I mean, yeah, it was actually for Eli's birthday, but . . . Wait. Liv, I don't expect you to do anything special Thursday." He rubbed her back.

She bit her lip, still not certain. "You don't?"

He smiled, amused. He cupped her cheek. "No, I don't. We already had a nice meal at Maureen's and Eli won't know the difference. Or we can just order some Chinese and tell him that's how they celebrate Thanksgiving."

She entwined her fingers with his. "Funny, El. Seriously, thank you, cuz I was about to go into panic mode. I've never had a Thanksgiving turkey before, let alone cooked one myself."

His heart broke a little. "You mean, your first Thanksgiving meal was Saturday at my daughter's house?"

"Well, aside from poor souls taking pity on us at the precinct and bringing us leftovers, yes. My mother and I had no one else, and she was usually too drunk to feed herself. I certainly didn't want her burning the apartment down trying to cook a turkey." Olivia hugged her knees to her chest.

Elliot turned to face her and gathered her in his arms. "Baby, I'm sorry you had to grow up that way. I wish I could go back in time and change it for you. Then again, maybe you wouldn't be the strong, selfless, caring woman I love today. Maybe we'd never even have met." He shuddered at the thought and kissed the top of her head.

They stayed wrapped together in silence for several minutes. Then Elliot cleared his throat.

"Liv, what happened at Sealview?"

Olivia stiffened in his embrace. He felt bad, but he had to know. He held her tighter, smoothing her hair a few times before slipping his hand under it to massage her neck.

"Why are you bringing this up now?" She didn't look at him.

"Because as bad as never having met you would have been, losing you would be the end of me," he said hoarsely into her hair, chin resting on her head.

"El, I was fi—" she started.

He pulled away. He took her wine glass and set it on the coffee table next to his. He placed his hands on her arms and guided her body to face his. "Liv, DON'T say it. You weren't fine! I was there. I saw it in your eyes. It haunted you for months, and sometimes I wonder if it ever stopped. You may have survived, but you were NOT fine. Liv, _what happened in the basement?_" He was almost shouting. He hadn't meant to, but he wasn't going to let her retreat into herself again. They were partners, for better or for worse, and to him that included letting him into her pain.

She looked down and her shoulders sagged. She knew he wouldn't let up, unlike he did four and a half years ago when she told him nothing had happened. She knew he hadn't believed her then, but she was relieved when he didn't persist. It was different now, and she knew that she needed to trust him with her past and that he needed her to trust him enough to open up about it. The thought occurred to her that he had been deeply affected by Sealview and needed to work through it himself.

She took a deep breath. She knew what he was asking, so she started there. There didn't need to be a lot of details; he just needed to know that _something_ had indeed happened to her in that basement.

"He didn't rape me, but it's as close as I've ever come," she began, echoing her words to Dr. Warner. "During the TB quarantine, Parker accused me of starting a riot and Harris took me away, telling me he was taking me to solitary. Only he took me downstairs instead. When I asked what he wanted, he told me, 'What every man wants. And you're going to give it to me." She paused, her voice becoming shaky.

Elliot's heart wrenched in two. On one hand, he was relieved beyond measure that Olivia had not been raped, but at the same time, he blamed himself for not being able to protect her from getting that close. He shouldn't have let her go. If he'd only not gone to Sealview and revealed his identity, he could have at least gone undercover as a guard instead of Fin and maybe . . . Well, it was too late for 'what if's' now, and he needed her to get it all out. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew now was not the time. He remained silent and simply rubbed her arms.

"Once I saw the mattresses, I knew what he planned to do. I fought and yelled for help. At one point he uncuffed my hands and I punched him and ran and hid. He eventually found me, but before he did he threatened to kill me if I didn't show myself. He told me it'd be worse now because I stayed hidden. He hit me in the stomach and back with his night stick. I elbowed him in the gut and ran to a door, but it was locked." She paused, silent tears spilling over and cascading down her cheeks.

What Olivia couldn't see was that Elliot's eyes were also filled with tears. He just held her, waiting for her to continue.

She sniffled. "He cuffed me to the bars on the door and pressed me to it with his body. He unzipped his pants and told me I was dead if I bit him. That's when I saw he had a mole. That's how I knew to prompt Ashley into identifying Harris as her rapist. He . . . he was about to force himself on me when Fin arrived. You know the rest."

Elliot knew Fin had found Olivia and Harris, but Fin had never talked to Elliot about it, saying he should let Olivia tell him. He realized Fin had saved her, and he vowed to show his gratitude to his former colleague. He was also glad for Harris' sake that the asshole was in prison; if he'd known what had happened, Harris might be in the morgue instead.

After holding each other silently for a few minutes, Elliot pulled back, tucking her hair behind her ears and stroking her face. He kissed her gently. "Thank you for trusting me with that," he whispered. He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead before resting his chin against it.

"El, I'm tired. Let's go to bed."

Wordlessly they got up, put their arms around the other's waist, and went to bed.

**New York City**

**Monday, December 24, 2012, Christmas Eve**

Elliot and Olivia had been dating for two months, and they were closer than they ever thought possible. When they weren't working, they were together, spending the night in one or the other's apartment. He had been to the precinct a few times, meeting with Captain Cragen and on one occasion pulling Fin aside and simply thanking him for Sealview, to which Fin just nodded and shook Elliot's outstretched hand.

Elliot had Eli every weekend. To his surprise, Kathy was going to let him pick up Eli on Christmas Day. Olivia knew better, however; Kathy was obviously attempting to keep the peace after what she had done and not give Olivia any reason to make good on her threat.

Elliot would have pushed to have Eli on Christmas Eve, but he had made plans for him and Olivia. He wanted some private time, particularly to show her one of his gifts to her. He had refused to tell her his plans and had simply picked her up at the precinct at 4:00.

First he took her back to her apartment, where he decorated it while she was at work. She protested weakly, stating that she was never home to enjoy it, but inside she was deeply moved by his gesture and told him it was beautiful.

"And my favorite decoration of all," he announced as he stood them in the doorway to her bedroom. He grinned like a kid on . . . well, Christmas.

She looked around to see what she had missed: Tree, wreath, garland, candles, lights, even her decorative bowls filled with ornaments. She looked back at him. He simply pointed above their heads: Mistletoe.

Suddenly she attacked his lips and gave him one of the most powerful kisses they'd shared yet. He was stunned at first but quickly got in the spirit. When she started to remove his shirt, he reluctantly stopped her.

"Not yet, my love. No unwrapping the presents early; you'll have to wait until midnight."

Olivia pouted. "But we'll be at Mass and it'll be way after midnight when we get back." Elliot had asked her to accompany him to Midnight Mass, and to both their surprise she agreed. She knew his faith was an important part of his life, and therefore it was now more important to her.

He chuckled. "Then I guess you'll have to wait, silly girl." He grabbed her hands. "Come on. Next stop."

"Next stop? Where are we going?" she asked as she put on her hat, coat, and gloves as he directed.

He shook his head. "You'll just have to wait and see!" he said and flashed her his trademark smirk.

"Bastard." She slapped his arm.

"But I'm _your_ bastard, and you love me." He leaned in for a kiss.

She opened her mouth to him. "Yes, El, I love you, very much so."

"I'll never get tired of hearing that," he murmured, their foreheads touching. "Now, let's go!"

Elliot took them to Central Park, where they went on a horse-drawn carriage ride. Despite living in Manhattan her whole life, Olivia had never been in one and loved it. She simply snuggled against Elliot and took in the sights of the city she loved, served, and protected from the different perspective.

Next they went to the Rink at Rockefeller Center and ice skated. It had been years since Elliot had gone with his kids, so he was a bit rusty, but to his surprise Olivia was quite good at it. He made a mental note to bring Eli with them before the winter was over. After skating, they grabbed a casual meal at a local diner, where they waited until it was time to get in line at the Fifth Avenue entrance to Saint Thomas Church.

**Saint Thomas Church, 1 West 53****rd**** Street**

**Christmas Mass, Solemn Eucharist of the Nativity**

Before they entered the cathedral, Elliot spoke quietly to Olivia. "Are you nervous?"

She nodded her head, taking in the crowd and the atmosphere.

He squeezed her hand. "Don't be. I'm right here next to you. Remember what I told you before, but there will also be a program that you can follow the service with. You'll love it. On Christmas Eve the entire Saint Thomas Choir of Men and Boys sings the songs. It's beautiful."

It was very crowded, but they managed to find two seats together on the lower level near the middle on the left side of the aisle. Olivia enjoyed the organ and trumpet music of the prelude. When three ministers entered, she stood with everyone else. Eying her bulletin, she followed along and responded at appropriate times. She was pleased that she even knew the first song, "O Come All Ye Faithful," and began to relax a little. She glanced at Elliot and smiled, who smiled back and squeezed her hand.

She listened intently as a passage from Isaiah was read. Then the choir sang from the Psalms. Elliot was right; it was indeed glorious.

He looked over and was moved to see tears in her eyes as the choir sang. When the entire church sang "Joy to the World," her voice rang out as loud, if not louder, than his. He had been almost as nervous in asking her to come as she was about attending, but she seemed to be in the spirit and he relaxed too. He hoped this aspect of his life was something he could share more and more with her, but he would never push her. She would never let him.

They stood for the Gospel reading and the Nicene Creed and listened to the homily. They knelt for the general prayer for the church and the general confession. They stood for the Peace and greetings, always one of Elliot's favorite parts of the Mass. He watched her as she received and gave the peace to those around her, people she had never seen before and likely never would again. One of them could even be someone she'd someday interrogate as either a suspect or a victim. Right now none of that mattered. It was a time to forget the seemingly insurmountable problems of the world, give them to God, and receive His peace. When he and Olivia faced each other and gave the greeting, Elliot knew in his heart that he was indeed finally at peace.

Elliot had explained to her the two parts of Mass and that they were now in the Liturgy of the Eucharist and about to partake of the rite of Communion. He had told her beforehand that she would not be able to receive it, which did not bother her. He had gone to confession the previous day and, since it had been over an hour since they ate, he would take Communion. "You gonna be okay here by yourself until I return?" he whispered. She nodded. When he returned, they listened to the choir sing again and then knelt for the postcommunion prayer before being blessed and dismissed.

**Elliot Stabler's apartment, Queens**

**Sometime after midnight, Christmas Day**

They stood at the foot of Elliot's bed. Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging on his bottom lip with hers. "_Now_ do I get to open my Christmas present?" she said seductively.

"_Presents_," he corrected, swiping his tongue across her lips and lowering his hands to caress her ass. He crawled across the bed and retrieved something from under the pillows while she enjoyed the view she never grew tired of.

He handed her a long envelope. She looked at him questioningly.

"Open it!" he said with a grin before spinning her around so her back was to his front. He nuzzled her neck and ground his hips against her. "Do it quickly. As you can tell, I'm quite ready to give you part of your other present."

She let out a short moan before ripping open the envelope. Inside were two airline tickets . . . _to Paris_.

She whirled around to face him, utter shock on her face. "Really?!" She didn't recall when, but she had once told him that she had always wanted to go to France. Apparently he remembered.

"Yes, really. It's open-ended, but I hear Paris is beautiful in the spring."

She jumped up in his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Oh El! Thank you! I can't wait!" _And we better not,_ she thought, _considering my gift to him._

"Now, about that other present. Where is it?" she demanded before attaching her lips to his neck.

He set her down on the bed and gave her a cheeky grin. "You have to find it. All I will tell you is it's on my person." His cock twitched in anticipation.

When she realized there was nothing in his pockets, she quickly divested him of his clothing. She stroked his erection through his boxers. "Well, well, Stabler. Is this my other present?"

"Noooooo," he said in a strained voice. Her hands felt so good and were making it very hard to focus. Not that he really wanted or needed to. She'd find it soon enough.

"No matter," she said as she yanked his boxers off after quickly stepping out of her own clothes. She returned to caressing him. "It's all for me."

She lowered herself to her knees and began to take him into her mouth. Suddenly her eyes widened.

_She found it,_ he thought with a smirk.

"When did you get this?" she gasped. There on his hip bone was a tattoo of a police badge with both their numbers and, below them, the words "EO Forever."

He laughed. "A couple days ago. You don't know how hard it was to come up with reasons why I was suddenly wearing boxers to bed. And you couldn't keep your hands off me! So, do you like it?"

She wiped away a tear. "El, I _love_ it. It's beautiful, like you." She kissed the spot. She remembered the first night they made love and how he had discovered _her_ tattoo: a police badge with both their numbers and the words "Semper Fi." And in the exact same spot as his. Tears fell anew as she recalled their first night and how it tied into her gift.

He knelt down in front of her. "Sweetheart, what is it? Why are you crying?" He held her hands.

"Oh El, I'm not sad! These are happy tears. I guess it's perfect timing to give you your gift." She went to the head of the bed and reached under _her_ pillow and pulled out an envelope. She kneeled once again and gave him a wry smile at how they both had hidden their gifts under their pillows and both were in envelopes. With a shaking hand, she gave him the square envelope.

He tried to read her expression. When he found no clues, he tore open the envelope. Inside was a sonogram, the back of which simply said, "I'm pregnant."

Elliot's head shot up. "You . . . Really? You're, you're PREGNANT?"

She nodded. The next thing she knew she was airborne as he lifted her still-nude body into his arms and twirled her around.

He set her down and pressed his forehead to hers. "Really?" he said again.

"Really," she whispered. "El, I'm about eight weeks. I got pregnant the first time we made love. Before I went off birth control."

This time all he could do was open his mouth; no words came out.

"I guess we're getting a baby for Christmas after all!" she said. "Merry Christmas, El."

**A/N: Liv's pregnant! They're gonna have a baby! Now I realize it's highly unlikely she would have become pregnant their first time & while on birth control, let alone after only two months of trying. But hey, this is my story, which, sadly, is soon coming to an end. I may write a sequel if there is enough demand. I wanna thank the reviewer who ends reviews with "El/Liv FOREVERRRRRR." Your support means more to me than you'll know! In the last few chapters: surprises, Valentine's Day, and more surprises. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. MM**

*****Anyone seen "The Souler Opposite"?**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 "The Adjustments"

**Elliot Stabler's apartment**

**Early hours, Christmas Day**

"You know, when I said I wanted a baby for Christmas, I wasn't serious. I didn't mean you had to be pregnant _by_ Christmas!" Elliot said as he cradled her face in his large hands. They were standing at the foot of his bed, still naked.

"Trust me, I was as surprised as you are. Happy, but surprised," Olivia replied. "Why do you think I couldn't keep my hands off you? I mean, more than usual?" She ran her hands up and down his impressive pectorals. "Wasn't Kathy . . . I mean, when she was pregnant, didn't she get more . . . you know?" She looked sheepish.

He laughed. "Liv, we worked sex crimes. You can say it: horny. I guess so. Truth is, I was never around enough to find out. When I was, I was either too tired to do anything or she was too mad at me to let me touch her." He looked at her intently. "So you're saying we're gonna have even _more_ sex?" he asked with a lift of his eyebrows.

As she pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him, she leaned forward. "What do _you _think?" she whispered before thrusting her tongue in his mouth.

When he came up for air, he gulped. "No argument here, but I think I better up my vitamin intake," he said before rolling them over and enjoying an early Christmas present together.

Afterwards, they lay on their sides, facing each other.

"I can't believe it. We're going to have a baby. You're going to be a mother," he said softly as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"It's still so unreal to me too. I had just about given up hope of ever having children. Then you came back into my life. I had always hoped it'd be with you." She stroked his face and hair.

"Really? I know how much you wanted children of your own, and I wanted so much to be able to be the one to do that for you." His voice lowered. "But I couldn't. Liv, I'm so sorry. If I'd not gone to Kathy that night, maybe we . . . . "

She placed her fingers over his lips. "Shh. Then you'd never have had Eli. Nothing would have happened between us as long as one of us still worked in SVU. What matters is we're together now and I have our child growing inside me. Come mid-July, we'll meet him or her."

He kissed her reverently. "I'm still sorry. I guess I hoped maybe you'd find someone and have a child with him."

She smirked. "No you didn't."

"Yes I did! Even if it couldn't be me, I always wanted you to be happy," he insisted.

She took his face in her hands. "El, what made you think I was happy? Why do you think my relationships never lasted?"

"You really want me to answer that?"

She smiled and rubbed his strong biceps. "No. Suffice it to say it's because they weren't _you_. No one could measure up. Besides, you scared off the ones I didn't."

He pulled back a little. "Which ones? And how exactly did I do that?"

"Relax, El. I'm not upset, and it's in the past. But do the names Kurt Moss and Dean Porter ring a bell? Whenever you got involved, my relationships ended. And don't even try to deny that you were a jealous prick around Porter, especially during the Terrie Barnes & Manuel Rojas drug smuggling case."

He sat up and rubbed his neck. "Liv, can we not talk about Dean Porter, particularly while we're naked and in bed?" He had never liked Porter and any tolerance he had had for the FBI agent had gone out the window when he had put Olivia's life in danger. He didn't want to think about it, about how close he had come to losing her when Rojas put his gun to her head. He also didn't like how close Olivia and Dean had obviously been.

Olivia realized she'd hit a sore spot. Perhaps his jealousy ran deeper than she had realized. "El, you do know it was over with him a long time ago. That case ended it, actually. I haven't seen or spoken to him since then." She placed a hand on his shoulder.

He glanced at her. "Really? Nothing at all?"

She tilted her head and gave him a reassuring smile. "Really. El, I know you didn't like him and not just because he was FBI, but nothing's ever gonna happen with him again. You were right; he was a prick."

He sighed then grinned and raised his arm up, which she slid under so she could rest her head on his chest. "I was right, huh?"

She punched him gently. "Don't let it go to your head."

They lay in silence for a few minutes. Elliot was so quiet that Olivia thought he had gone to sleep. Then he spoke.

"Mid-July, huh?" he mused.

"July 15, to be specific." She inspected her flat abdomen and wondered how long it'd remain that way.

"When did you find out?"

"You remember about three weeks ago how I got sick and I said it was the spicy Thai food we had? Well, truth is I was nauseated for several days. So I finally made an appointment after taking a home test that was positive. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure, and by then it was close to Christmas and I thought that'd be the perfect time to tell you." She snuggled closer to his warmth.

"Wow. You've managed to keep it a secret that long?" He thought for a moment. "Eli will be so excited to have a baby brother or sister."

She sat up. "El, I'd rather not tell anyone yet, not even your kids. Can we keep this between us for a while? Just until we get past the first trimester and are sure everything's okay?"

"Whatever you desire, sweetheart." Elliot tucked her hair back and kissed her softly. "When is your next appointment? I'd like to go."

"Oh, it's not for another couple weeks, and unless I'm having problems, the next ultrasound shouldn't be until 18-20 weeks, when we can find out the sex of the baby."

"Up to you, but just know I want to be there, and for once I have a job where I can be there." He looked at the alarm clock. "We should get some sleep, but we need to start thinking about your job, things like desk duty and maternity leave." He pulled her into his arms and turned them on their sides, loving the way she shifted back until she was flush against him.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "El, I'm pregnant, not invalid. I'll be fine."

He wouldn't hear it. "I'm sure you will be, but it's a dangerous job and you're carrying my child. It's my job to protect you both. Now, Mommy, let's get some sleep before Eli gets here!"

She was very tired or she would have put up more of a fight about adjusting her work hours and duties. Instead, she nestled into his arms and dreamt of the day when it'd be their son or daughter waking them up to discover what Santa had brought that night.

**Later that morning . . . **

As she and Elliot sat on the couch, him drinking coffee and her drinking tea and watching Eli rip into his gifts, Olivia reflected on how much her life had changed in just a few short months. She was finally with her soul mate, she had a built-in family with his kids, and now they were expecting one of their own. Life as she knew it would change even more over the next several months, but she was content and wouldn't have it any other way. She struggled to imagine how it could get any better.

The doorbell rang. It was Elliot's older children. Soon the apartment was filled with chatter and the smell of baked ham. Eli nearly wore Dickie out showing him all his new toys. Then he remembered that more people equals more presents.

"Can we open more gifts now, Daddy? Please?" His big blue eyes pled with his father.

Elliot looked at Olivia then at each of his children. "Oh, I don't know, Eli. Kids, what do you think?" He winked at Maureen.

"Hmmm. Eli, why don't we sit around and talk first?" She squatted down next to her baby brother.

Eli pouted, but he tried his best not to let his disappointment show. "OK."

When everyone started laughing, Eli looked around in disbelief then jumped up and shouted gleefully. Maureen handed out the gifts they had all brought, asking that they let Eli open his first. Once he had done so and he was happily distracted with them, Maureen placed a flat box on her father's lap.

"What's this? Maureen, you didn't have to get us anything," Elliot said, to which Olivia nodded.

Maureen looked around at her husband and siblings. "Actually, it's kind of for everyone, but I've already given them their part." She nodded to them, and on her cue they all removed their button-down shirts, which Elliot and Olivia hadn't noticed they were wearing until now. Each of them had on a white T-shirt with colorful lettering. Depending on the wearer, the shirts read "World's Greatest Father/Aunt/Uncle."

Kathleen took the shirt Maureen tossed her. "There's even one for Eli," she said and went to put it on her brother.

Elliot and Olivia stared at each other in shock.

"Dad, open the box," Dickie prompted.

Inside were two T-shirts: "World's Greatest Grandfather" and "World's Greatest Grandmother" and a sonogram.

Maureen hugged them. "I'm pregnant! I'm due June 12! Dad? Liv? Aren't you going to say anything?"

Elliot looked at Olivia and asked the question in their wordless way of communicating that not even they fully understood. She shook her head, and he patted her knee and nodded.

He stood and hugged his daughter then shook his son-in-law's hand. "Congratulations, honey, Steve. I'm so happy! Wow, I'm gonna be a grandpa!" Once the words were said, their implication set in and Elliot had to sit down. His kids chattered excitedly about their future niece or nephew while he and Olivia sat deep in thought. He leaned forward, chin resting on his hands, and she rubbed his back. _No, never a dull moment with the Stabler clan_, she thought.

That night in bed, Elliot wrapped his arms around Olivia as she spooned against him. "So, how do you feel about becoming a grandmother before becoming a mother?" he murmured into her hair.

She didn't answer right away. Truth was, she wasn't sure. "I don't know. It's all happening so fast. I mean, I'm happy, but I was so focused on being a mother that I never even considered being a grandmother!" She looked back at him. "What about you? What do you think about having a child and a grandchild a month apart?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm still processing it. I'll tell you one thing, I'm praying now for God to give me the energy! Don't get me wrong; I _want_ to have this baby, but they're a lot of work, and there will be two around! I mean, one of them will be Maureen's, but you know we'll babysit and visit and all."

Olivia sighed. "Yeah. A lot of work."

"Speaking of work . . . "

"Elliot, can we please talk about it later? It's late and we've had an eventful day. Okay?" She softened her words with a squeeze of his arms around her waist.

He kissed her below her ear. "Of course, babe. We should get rest now while we can!" He chuckled.

She swatted him then turned her head for a lingering kiss before falling asleep in his arms.

**Viand Café, 2130 Broadway Avenue**

**Tuesday, January 15, 2012 **

Elliot and Olivia huddled close together in their booth, gazing at the latest sonogram of their growing child. Her OB/GYN at the Columbia Avenue Women's Health clinic******* had wanted to do another ultrasound given Olivia's age and obstetrical history. She was almost 12 weeks along, all her lab tests from the previous visit were normal, and the baby was healthy and the pregnancy progressing normally.

Elliot watched Olivia as she stared at the picture. He felt his heart flood with love for her and with happiness that her dream was coming true. He felt even more protective of her than ever.

"How are you feeling, Mommy?" he asked.

She looked up at him, eyes shining. _Pregnant women really do have a glow about them,_ he thought.

"Wonderful. Really! The nausea is all but gone, and so far I don't show any signs of the problems that can occur with pregnancy at my age. I still can't believe it," she said as she turned her eyes back to the sonogram. "This is our child."

He kissed the top of her head. "Our child," he breathed. "I'm a fool for waiting so long for this."

She leaned on his shoulder. "Yes, you are, but the past is the past. This—" she held up the picture, "is our future and what we should focus on now."

He kissed her. "You're right, as usual. Are you taking all the vitamins and eating lots of foods with folic acid?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Yes, Doctor. El, I'm a big girl. I can handle that part." She took out a brochure her OB had given her. "But I do need your opinion on whether I should have this 'Quad Marker screening test.' It tests the blood for evidence of Down syndrome and other defects caused by duplicate chromosomes," she said as she read the brochure to him.

Elliot looked over her shoulder and read with her. "I've never heard of this. Kathy had an amniocentesis with Eli."

"Well, if this blood test shows any abnormalities, Dr. Martins may order an amnio, but I'd rather just try the blood work first. It carries less risk and is less invasive," Olivia replied.

"Whatever you think is best, sweetheart." He rubbed her back.

"It's settled, then. I'll call Dr. Martins and have it set up for my next appointment. Because my pregnancy is high risk, she wants to see me every three weeks and do ultrasounds more often."

"That makes me feel better." Elliot glanced at his watch. "We should probably get going and head to the 1-6. Are you nervous about telling Cragen? I mean, telling the kids over the weekend was good practice, right?"

She put a finger against her chin. "Am I nervous? Gee, let me think. YES!" she said with a wry chuckle.

As they stood to go, he helped her into her coat and then wrapped his arms around her. "I'll be right there with you."

"It's not just telling him or the team. It's what I know is coming soon: desk duty. And before you say it—" she held up a hand—"I know it's what you want too and you'll worry less about me that way." She sighed.

He put his hand on the small of her back and guided her out into the winter air. He pulled her scarf more snugly around her face. "Liv, I'll never _not_ worry about you, but yes, I'd worry less about you _and_ our child if you were not in the field. But even at the station, a lot can happen." They both recalled how many incidents had happened in the precinct itself, including the event that led to Elliot's retirement as an SVU detective.

"Elliot, are you saying you want me to leave SVU?" Olivia stopped walking and turned to face him.

He scratched his chin then put his hands in his pockets. "I'd like you to consider it, yeah."

Olivia stared at him, speechless. She started to walk away.

He caught up to her and grabbed her by the elbow. "Liv! Wait." He spun her and put his hands on either arm, looking deep into her eyes, which were welling with tears. "Aw, baby." He pulled her to him. "I know how much SVU is your life, but so much has changed. You're going to be a mother."

She looked up from his chest, where she had buried her face. "So, what? That means I can't be a cop and should stay at home barefoot and pregnant?"

He sighed. "No, of course not. But you of all people know how dangerous being an NYPD detective is. Baby, I know you can take care of yourself, but it's the perps and skels I don't trust. It's our baby I'm worried about."

Olivia softened a little. She loved Elliot for how protective he was and how he defended what was most dear to him. She realized her lack of relationship experience was showing itself. "You're right. We're a team now, and I need to consider your concerns and wishes too. I'm still so new at this. You'll have to be patient with me." She smoothed her gloved hands over his lapels. "Can we talk about this later? I just wanna tell Cragen and get it over with."

They started walking again, his arm wrapped around her waist. "Thank you, baby. Yes, we're in this together, which leads me to something else I wanted to talk to you about. But we can talk about it later too."

"What is it, El?" she asked.

Elliot stopped and took Olivia's hand. "I think we ought to look for a house and move in together."

Olivia stood, open-mouthed, trying to come up with reasons against such an idea, but she found that she couldn't.

"Yes," she said simply.

It was his turn to be shocked. He didn't think it'd be that easy. "Yes? Really?"

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, not caring they were in the middle of the sidewalk on the streets of Manhattan. "Yes, really. I mean, we're together all the time at your place or mine, we're having a baby, we're partners for better or for worse."

Elliot laughed then nuzzled her nose. "Hey, those were my lines." He sighed happily. "I'm glad we agree on something!"

"FOR ONCE!" they said at the same time and fell into a fit of laughter.

**Manhattan SVU, 16****th**** Precinct**

Don Cragen beamed at the couple in love. He had started to think he'd never see this day, but now he felt a bit like he was going to become a grandfather.

He came around his desk and hugged them both. "Congratulations, you two. Like I told Elliot when he came to me for advice on your relationship, it's about damn time!"

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other, smiled, and squeezed their joined hands. "Yes, Captain, it is," Olivia replied.

Cragen sat on the edge of his desk. "I hate to bring this up, but I have to. Liv, you know I'm going to need to put you on desk duty soon."

"Elliot and I have discussed it, and I'm going to wait until I see my doctor again in three weeks and find out when she thinks I should step back from the field." Olivia looked down. Elliot rubbed her back. He hated that such a step was necessary, but it was for her safety and that of their baby.

Cragen nodded. "Agreed. But as of now, I don't want you going out alone, and one of the other detectives will interrogate violent suspects. It is not up for discussion, so save it," he said sternly while holding up a hand.

Olivia didn't catch it, but Elliot gave Cragen a wink, which Cragen acknowledged with a barely perceptible nod. If Olivia noticed it, she didn't let on.

They stood up. "Well, time to tell the team," Olivia said.

Cragen smiled. "I think you know they'll be more than supportive and happy for you. A piece of advice or an order, however you want to take it: Let them watch your back, especially now."

She nodded and left his office, Elliot behind her.

The rest of the squad was delighted with news of Olivia's pregnancy. Munch made a joke about the "Stabler Super Sperm"*******. Fin hugged them both and warned them to expect their child to be spoiled by "Uncle Fin." Amanda and Nick promised Elliot—when Olivia wasn't in earshot—to keep the love of his life and their unborn child safe.

Olivia walked over to Elliot and whispered to him. He nodded, and she turned to her colleagues and cleared her throat. "As if that isn't news enough, we have something else to announce. El, you tell them."

Elliot rubbed his chin and couldn't help sticking his chest out a little. "Not only am I going to be a father again, I'm going to be a grandpa. Maureen is pregnant."

There were exclamations of surprise and excitement followed by another round of congratulations. Munch shook Elliot's hand.

"Stabler, you always were a glutton for punishment," he quipped.

**Elliot Stabler's apartment**

That night as they lay in bed, Olivia thought about their discussion after lunch. She knew Elliot was right on both issues, but one of them she just was not yet ready to do. She looked up at him from her position, draped across his chest.

"El? You awake?"

"Mmm."

"I'll take that as a yes. El, about what we discussed today . . . "

His eyes opened and caught hers. "Yeah?"

"Can we go looking for houses this weekend?"

"I'd love that." He stroked her hair, sensing there was more.

She put her head back on his chest, unable to face him. "El, I can't leave SVU, not right now, BUT—I'm not promising anything—after the baby is born, I will consider it."

He pulled her more snugly against him. "That's all I ask, baby. Good night, Liv."

"Good night, babe."

**A/N: The story is going to move a bit faster from here (at least that's the plan), and there are still quite a few surprises coming up in the last few chapters. Happy New Year, dear readers! MM**

*****Fictional name.**

*****Thanks to PaisleyMae for this term.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 "The Planning"

The next few weeks flew by. Elliot and Olivia looked at several houses in different neighborhoods of Queens. They finally agreed on one in the Laurelton section on 136th Road. It was close to JFK and two beltways, so getting into Manhattan wouldn't require driving through several residential Queens neighborhoods. Although they had originally figured they'd get a three-bedroom home, this one had four, along with three bathrooms, which would be handy when all the kids were over for a visit. Eli and the baby would have their own rooms, and the fourth bedroom would double as a guest room and office. Olivia liked that it had a very open floor plan too and was a newer construction. It even had a gated backyard and a large finished basement.

Standing in what would be their bedroom, Olivia had to stop and pinch herself as it all began to become real for her: She was finally going to have a family of her own. As she thought back from her fatherless childhood to learning she had a brother to becoming pregnant with Elliot's baby, she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her waist.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he murmured in her ear as he gently caressed her rounded belly.

Olivia pressed into him and leaned her head back on his chest, clasping her hands over his. "I was just thinking how for so long it was just my mother and me, then when she died I had no one."

"Hey, you've always had me," Elliot corrected as he hugged her closer to his body.

She looked up at him, raising a hand to caress his face. "Yes, El, you've always been there for me—"

"Semper Fi," they both said.

She smiled and continued. "But I mean family, like you with Kathy and your kids. Yes, I have a brother and even a niece and nephew, and for a time I had Calvin, but it's not the same. I've still always been _alone_. But now . . . " She stopped, emotion stealing her voice.

Elliot turned her to face him, cradling her face and wiping her tears with his thumbs. "Olivia, baby. I love you so much. I have loved you for so long. It killed me to see you alone and I couldn't do anything about it, at least as far as _this _goes"—he waved his hand back and forth between them—"but I did my best to look out for you and show you that you could always count on me."

Olivia leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on his lips. "Yes, you did," she whispered. "And I will _never_ forget that. But now we're truly together and I'm about to have my very own family for the first time. It's a lot to take in. I'm just afraid it's too good to be true. That . . . that one day I'll wake up and it'll all be taken away." She dabbed at her eyes.

Elliot bent slightly so that they were eye to eye. He placed his hands on either side of her head and looked intently at her. "Liv, listen to me: That's _not_ gonna happen. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you or to our family. We're permanent. Tell me you believe that. Tell me you trust me."

His eyes were shining and so full of sincerity and need that it nearly broke Olivia's heart. Another section of the wall that had shielded her tender heart was knocked down by his words and his love for her. In reply she simply threw her arms around his neck and crashed her lips into his, hoping that he would feel all her gratitude, trust, and love for him in that one kiss.

…..

**Thursday, February 7, 2013**

At Olivia's 15-week prenatal visit, Dr. Martins thought that her blood pressure was a little elevated, so she advised her to avoid stress as much as possible. This caused Elliot and Olivia to look at each other and laugh. Dr. Martins warned her that if it continued to elevate, she would be at high risk for preeclampsia and would be put on bed rest. She highly recommended Olivia go immediately on desk duty and on maternity leave at 28 to 30 weeks. Olivia wasn't happy to hear this, but she reasoned it was better than the alternative and agreed to follow Dr. Martins' advice and take it easy. She took the Quad Marker screening test and would get the results in a couple weeks, but the doctor was confident that both mother and baby were doing fine and the pregnancy was progressing well.

**Olivia Benson's apartment**

That evening Olivia sat on her couch—at Elliot's insistence—while he packed up the last of her belongings. They had already moved his things into their new house and put both apartments on the market. Hers sold quickly, but his was not getting any serious offers, which concerned them even though their loan for the house had been approved and they both had savings. He offered to sell the motorcycle, which she resisted, not wanting him to give it up. When he reasoned that it was winter and he wouldn't do much riding anyway once the baby was born, she reluctantly agreed. Besides, he had told her, he could get another one later, "with a sidecar for the baby." That quip earned him a punch in the ribs.

"That's the last box," Elliot said with a grunt as he dropped a heavy box by the door. "Liv, do you think you have enough shoes?" he groused as he wiped his sweaty forehead.

"El, a woman _never_ has enough shoes," she quipped as he approached the couch and leaned down to kiss her before plopping down next to her with a heavy sigh.

"I love you!" she said coyly. She leaned back against the arm of the couch and put her swollen feet on Elliot's lap. He began to massage them, eliciting a moan from her.

"I love you too, and if you don't stop moaning like that I'm going to have to take you right here on the couch!" Elliot said with a sexy grin.

Olivia's eyes rolled back in her head. "Oh, this is almost better than sex," she sighed.

His hands stopped. She opened one eye, peering at him. "Why'd you stop?"

"Better than sex?"

She grinned. "I said '_almost_'!" she protested. "Nothing could be better than sex with you, hot stuff," she purred.

He laughed. "Nice save."

Olivia sat up and climbed onto his lap as best she could despite her pregnant state. "Ew, you're sweaty," she stated, noting his stained tee shirt. "But it's manly. Kinda sexy."

Elliot ran his hands up her back. He kissed her deeply. "Kinda? Boy, you're just on fire with the compliments tonight, Liv." His blue eyes twinkled. "So, how'd it go telling Cap and the squad about Dr. Martins ordering you to be put on desk duty?"

Olivia turned in his lap so that she was facing sideways. He supported her back with one arm and held her hand with the other.

"They understood. Frankly, I think they were relieved, like I know _you_ were," she said, pointing her finger at his chest for emphasis.

He shrugged. "Can you blame me?"

Olivia sighed. "No, I guess not. It's just I hate being fussed over. Everyone's been so protective of me. Even Munch has been fixing me tea and quoting from What to Expect When You're Expecting."

Elliot laughed and rubbed her back. "Honey, they're just looking out for you. Besides," he said in a low voice as he pushed her gently onto her back on the couch, "you might as well get used to being spoiled." He kissed her, toying with her lips. "Once the baby is here, you won't mind so much!"

He eased himself next to her and attached his lips to her neck. His right hand supported her neck while his left cupped her swollen breasts. She cried out in ecstasy when his fingers passed over her nipples, and he wasn't even under her clothes yet. When he slid his long fingers into her pants and reached her wetness, it took only a few strokes and she was undone. She bucked and writhed as her orgasm hit.

Elliot chuckled against her neck. "I still can't get over how ramped up women's libidos get during pregnancy." He raised his head. "Not that I'm complaining!" He kissed her and linked his tongue with hers. He rested his chin on her chest, a satisfied smile playing upon his mouth.

"What about you, El?" Olivia asked once she had calmed down.

"What about me?" he said softly, wondering how she managed to become more beautiful to him with each passing day. He trailed a finger down her nose.

"You didn't . . . get yours," she replied as she reached down and cupped the bulge in the front of his jeans.

Elliot smiled. "Don't worry about it." He glanced at his watch. "Besides, we should get going. I'll run the last of the boxes down to the car, then we'll go home, okay?" He stood up and helped her to sit up.

"Home," she said dreamily. Then a wave of sadness hit her as she looked around her empty apartment save for the heavy furniture, which movers would pick up later, and a few boxes.

He pulled her up and enfolded her in his arms. "Baby, I know it's hard to leave the memories behind, but we'll make lots of new ones in _our_ home." He ran a hand through her wavy locks.

She looked up at him, took a deep breath, and let it out with a small shrug of her shoulders. "I'm ready, El. Let's go home."

….

**Friday, February 8, 2013**

The next day, after he dropped Olivia off at the precinct, Elliot didn't go to work as he had told Olivia he was going to. Instead, having taken a personal day, he spent the day in the city. He spent the morning searching in several boutiques. _It has to be perfect_, he thought. Finally, after a couple hours and a lot of scrutiny, he found what he was looking for. Elliot gave the merchant some specifications and made arrangements to pick up his purchase a few days later. Pleased with the success of his mission, he headed to his next stop.

**Le Pain Quotidien, 50 West 72****nd**** Street**

Elliot scanned the shop and spotted his redheaded brunch date. He walked over to her table, where she was sipping an iced chamomile mint tea. When she noticed him approaching, she stood and embraced him.

"Elliot Stabler. It's been too long. Time has been good to you, my friend," she said as she gave him an admiring once-over.

He stepped back to take a look at her and whistled. "Looks like it's been treating you well, too. Thanks for meeting me, Casey."

Casey Novak motioned to her table, and they sat. A server appeared, and they both ordered quiche: vegetarian for Casey and quiche Lorraine for Elliot, who also ordered an iced tea.

"So, you said on the phone you had some big news and a favor. Let's hear it," Casey said as she leaned forward on her elbows.

Elliot chuckled. "You always were to the point." He scratched his chin and paused, a happy grin spreading across his face as he stared off into space.

Casey snapped her fingers in front of him. "Earth to Stabler. Wow, this must be huge. I've never known you to take a trip to La La Land like that, and you call me out of the blue and ask me to meet you. So spill it."

Elliot's tea arrived; he thanked the server and took a drink before taking a deep breath. "You're right, it's pretty big. I'm just going to be to the point too: Olivia and I have been dating for four months, and we're expecting a baby."

It was Elliot's turn to try to get Casey's attention. She sat open-mouthed and wide-eyed for several seconds. Then she found her voice. " .WAY! Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack," he answered.

She shook her head, laughing. "We had a pool going at the courthouse on whether you two would ever get together. It took longer than I thought, but now I'm going to have to find some folks and have them pay up!"

"You too, huh?" Elliot leaned back in his chair. "Seems everyone had us pegged. So you placed a bet in our favor?"

Casey snorted. "Yeah, but I didn't think it'd take you _this_ long! I had figured you two would be going at it after Kathy left you. Well, the first time, I mean. I take it you and she are _finito_."

Elliot filled her in on his divorce and the paternity and custody situation with Eli. He also told her about his job and how he and Olivia had just bought a house.

"Liv confronted Kathy? Chick always did have balls of steel," Casey muttered.

Their food arrived, and they each ate a few bites in silence.

"So how far along is Liv?" Casey finally asked.

Elliot cleared his throat. "Four months," he said quickly then took another bite.

Casey coughed. "You've been dating four months _and_ she's four months pregnant?" It was her turn to whistle. "I tell ya, Elliot, you don't go into anything half-assed, do ya?"

This elicited a laugh from Elliot. "Well, in our defense, we _have_ known each other nearly 14 years, and like you said, this was a long time coming."

The ADA tilted her head to the side, pursed her lips, and shrugged. "Good point. So how do your kids feel about all this?"

"Well, actually, they couldn't be happier, especially Maureen. She's pregnant too! Due in June."

Casey pounded the table. "Nuh uh! Seriously? So you're gonna be a granddad _and_ have a sixth child one month apart? I hope you're stocking up on sleep, like, NOW."

He laughed. "Trust me. I'm trying to!"

They caught each other up on their respective colleagues, former and current, as they finished their quiche and ordered raspberry and apple-almond tarts.

"So what's the favor?" Casey asked then took a bite of her raspberry confection. Her eyes rolled back and she gave a thumbs up sign.

"Well, you've probably heard about the big NYPD/NYC Criminal Court bash next week on Valentine's Day," Elliot began.

She nodded. "Yep. I'm going. Are you and Liv going?"

Elliot nodded as well and shared his plan with his friend and former SVU colleague. Her eyes grew wide and she stomped her feet in excitement. "So what do you want me to do?" she gushed.

"I'd like you to drop by our house tonight—here's the address—and act like you heard about us from someone else and wanted to come congratulate us. Do some catching up then I'd like you to offer to take Olivia shopping for a dress for the party. Make sure it is a red dress."

"Red dress. Got it. Oh, this is SO exciting! El, I am so happy for you two. What time should I come?" Casey was bouncing in her seat.

Elliot's heart swelled. He was relieved that Casey seemed to hold no hard feelings toward him or toward Olivia, who had told him about the words she and Casey exchanged after his departure. He was confident Liv was over it and would be glad to see their former colleague.

As they finished their dessert and settled their bill, Elliot told Casey when to come over and then gave her detailed directions to their house.

Just outside the bakery, they hugged once more before parting ways. Elliot felt as if his feet didn't touch the pavement as he strolled and considered his morning purchase and his plan. He had two more stops to make before meeting Olivia at the station: one involved picking up a tuxedo for the Valentine's Day function, and the other was to meet someone to ask him a very important question.

…..

**Benson-Stabler home, 136****th**** Road, Queens**

Elliot and Olivia had just finished dinner and were cleaning up in their open kitchen, when the doorbell rang.

"Liv, honey, would you mind getting that? My hands are full," Elliot said as he proceeded to lift a heavy pot of leftover soup to pour it into a smaller container. As she went to the front door, he couldn't help but grin as he peered into the front room to watch what transpired.

Olivia opened the door and for a moment was too shocked to say anything. Casey smiled wildly and hunched up her shoulders expectantly, waiting for Olivia to speak.

"CASEY NOVAK? What—what are you doing here? I mean, come here, you!" Olivia held out her arms and the two women hugged.

Elliot released the breath he'd been holding. It appeared Olivia held no grudge, either.

Olivia motioned toward the kitchen area after Casey had stepped inside.

"Elliot! Look who's here!" she called out.

Elliot exited the kitchen and approached Casey and hugged her. "Casey! What a surprise. It's great to see you!"

"Yeah, well, I heard it through the grapevine that you two finally got together and that another Stabler baby is on the way! Casey looked around the room then at them then at Olivia's belly. "I see it's all true!"

Olivia smiled as she smoothed one hand over her stomach and with the other hand took hold of Elliot's which had been resting on her shoulder. "Hard to believe, isn't it? I sometimes still think I'm dreaming." She tilted her head in the direction of the kitchen. "Can I fix you something to drink, Casey?"

Casey followed them and leaned on the island that doubled as a table. "Water is fine."

Olivia handed her a glass of water and then went to stand next to Elliot, sliding her arm around his waist. "So how did you find us? We just moved here."

Casey winked. "I'm a lawyer, remember? I have ways of finding out." She took a sip, casting a quick glance at Elliot, who winked also. "So when are you due?"

"If all goes well, some time in the middle of July. I'm already on desk duty because my BP was a little elevated."

Casey nodded thoughtfully. "That sounds like a good idea. How's everybody doing at SVU? I heard about the big shakeup last spring with Captain Cragen."

Sadness flitted across Olivia's features as she remembered that trying time. "Everyone's fine. Fin hasn't killed Munch yet, who is two steps from retiring. Same with Cragen."

"You ever thought of becoming captain, Liv?" Casey asked.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. Elliot drew in his breath slowly. "I don't know. I mean, yeah, maybe, but now with me about to have a baby . . . " Her voice trailed off.

Casey sensed she had hit a sensitive subject and decided not to pursue it. She changed the subject.

"Hey, are you guys going to the Valentine's Day party next week?"

Olivia started to waffle, but Elliot cut in. "Sure we are. Aren't we, Liv?" he said as he squeezed her shoulder and looked down into her eyes. She was confused by what she saw in them as well as by his response, but she didn't protest.

She turned to Casey. "Well, I guess we are! As long as there are places to sit so I can rest these swollen feet!"

They shared a laugh. "Hey Liv, I'm going shopping tomorrow for my dress. Why don't you come with me and we'll get you the perfect one?" Casey asked excitedly, hoping she wasn't coming on too strong.

Olivia pretended to be miffed. "And how do you know I don't already have the perfect dress, Casey?"

"Because you're pregnant and I doubt you've got anything formal in your closet that will fit over that baby bump!" she teased.

"Got me there!" Olivia looked at Elliot, who shrugged casually.

"Why don't you go, Liv? I'll have Eli. We can have some father-son time and you ladies can have a girls' day out," Elliot suggested.

Olivia still looked doubtful.

"Come on, Liv! It'll be fun. I promise we won't be out too long and we can stop and rest as often as you need to. What do you say?" Casey implored.

"Oh all right. I _do_ need to get a dress, plus I could use some more maternity clothes. Elliot, what time are you leaving to get Eli?" Olivia asked.

He rubbed his chin as he thought. "I'll leave around 9:00. I can drop you off in Manhattan on the way."

Olivia turned back to Casey. "Sound good to you?"

"Perfect!" replied the redhead. She glanced at her watch. "Well, I have to take off, but we can catch up more tomorrow, okay?" she said as she stood up to leave.

Olivia frowned. "Leaving already? Well, okay. I'll see you in the morning. It was great to see you again, Casey. Thank you for coming by."

They hugged again, then Elliot walked Casey out to her car.

"How'd I do?" Casey asked once they were sure Olivia couldn't hear them from the doorway.

Elliot grinned. "Just fine. Remember, her dress needs to be red," he said as he hugged her goodbye.

Casey got in her car and stuck her head out the window. "I can't wait to see this play out, Elliot. I never pegged you for such a romantic."

"Well, there's a certain lady who brings out the romantic in me." He chuckled as he slapped his hand on the car. "See ya tomorrow, Casey. Thanks for doing this. Bye."

Olivia ran her hand up his back as they went back into the house. "What was that all about?"

Elliot smiled inwardly. "Oh, just hashing out where to drop you off tomorrow morning." He kissed her cheek. "Hey, there's a chick flick marathon on TV. What do you say we go dig into a carton of ice cream and watch it?"

"Can I have green olives on my half?"

Elliot made a face. "Pregnant women and their weird cravings. Anything you like, sweetheart, except that you're gonna use a separate bowl!" She punched his shoulder and they went to enjoy their quiet evening together.

….

The next day, Olivia and Casey sat in a booth at an Upper West Side coffee shop. Olivia was exhausted and her feet more than a little swollen, but she was happy. Their trip had been successful They went over their purchases.

"This red dress you helped me pick out _is_ beautiful, Casey, but I'm gonna look like a fat cow in it! I should have gotten black. It hides everything!" Olivia fussed.

Casey put away her phone. While Olivia had been searching through her shopping bags, she had surreptitiously texted Elliot: "_Mission accomplished._"

"Nonsense! You looked great in it today, and you'll be stunning Thursday night with the jewelry we got and your hair done up like I showed you."

Olivia smiled at her friend. "Thank you for today. I admit it will be nice to have an adults' night out. And until now, I never really liked Valentine's Day."

Casey reached across the table and took Olivia's hand. "I'm so happy for you and Elliot. You two were meant to be together."

Olivia sighed. "I never thought it would happen. I mean, we couldn't do anything while we were partners, plus he was married. Then he disappeared for nearly two years."

Casey nodded sadly, remembering how broken Olivia had been after Elliot's sudden departure. "Look, Liv, about what I said to you. . . "

Olivia held up a hand and shook her head. "Casey, that was a long time ago. I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm good. _We're_ good."

Casey smiled. "Good. I'm glad." She looked at her watch. "Well, we should get going to where we're meeting Elliot and Eli. I can't wait to see the little guy!"

As they stood, Olivia staggered a bit and slumped back to her seat. She put her hands to her head.

"Olivia! What's wrong?" Casey dropped her bags and rushed to Olivia's side.

Olivia waved her off. "It's nothing. I'm fine. Just suddenly a little woozy. That's all."

Casey wasn't convinced. She got out her phone. "I'm calling El."

Olivia reached out and placed her hand on Casey's arm. "Please don't. Really, I'm fine. I feel better already. I just stood up too quickly. Please don't mention it to Elliot."

Against her better judgment, Casey agreed. "OK, but if it happens again, I'm calling a bus."

"Agreed. Now, let's go meet up with my Stabler boys."

When Casey wasn't looking, Olivia rubbed her forehead. She hoped it wouldn't come back on her that she hadn't told Casey about her severe headache.

**A/N: Is Olivia okay? Will her pregnancy advance without further problems? Up next, this and one very special Valentine's Day. Thank you for reading, and please take a moment to review, good or bad. Until I started writing, I didn't realize how much reviews mean to the author. Happy 2013! MM **


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 "The Partners"

**A/N: I was gonna go a different way with things (still might), but I revamped my plans for now for my faithful reviews Sayuri2012 and Amanda4Meloni. ;-) Bear with me; it's a long one, but I think you'll enjoy the ending.**

**Columbia Avenue Women's Health Clinic, Manhattan, Dr. Martins' office**

**Monday, February 11, 2013**

Dr. Martins wrapped her stethoscope around her neck and tapped a few keys on her laptop before turning to Olivia and Elliot.

"Olivia, your blood pressure is still a little elevated at 142/85. I want you to try to reduce your stress as much as possible. We need to keep your BP down to reduce your risk for developing preeclampsia and avoid the need for medication."

Elliot cleared his throat. "Doctor, we were planning on going to a party on Thursday. Can she still go?"

"As long as you take it easy before then and don't do the tango at the party, I think you'll be okay," the middle-aged woman answered. She glanced at Olivia's chart on the computer. "Olivia, your blood glucose came back 133, which is too high. Have you been more hungry and/or thirsty than normal? Going to the bathroom more frequently?"

Olivia thought for a moment. "Yes, but I figured that was all related to being pregnant. So do you think what happened Saturday was because I could be diabetic?"

Dr. Martins nodded. "It could be. Is there a history of diabetes in your family?"

Olivia looked at Elliot then looked down. "Well, I didn't fill that section out in my chart because I really don't know. I didn't know my father, and I don't know if my mother's side had diabetes."

"Hm. Well, just to be sure, I want you to come back for a glucose tolerance test. Our nutritionist will set you up with a 2200-calorie diet, and just continue doing whatever exercise you're doing but don't overdo it." Dr. Martins turned to Elliot. "You'll see to it that she is compliant, Mr. Stabler?" She smiled.

Elliot put his arm around Olivia. "I most certainly will. I'll also make sure _she_ tells me about any symptoms and I don't have to find them out from friends." His tone was stern, but the twinkle in his eyes betrayed him. He silently thanked God that Casey had taken him aside Saturday and told him what happened while Olivia was distracted with Eli.

Dr. Martins looked again at the laptop. "We usually don't get results back so quickly, but all the results on your Quad Marker screening came back negative for neural tube or other defects and for Down syndrome. So that's some good news."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Dr. Martins. I will try to take it easy and will do whatever I need to do to for the diabetes. I'll see you in three weeks for my next scheduled appointment?"

Dr. Martins looked at the chart and nodded. "Yes, that's right. We'll do another ultrasound, and if you like, we can probably determine the baby's gender." She peered at them through her bifocals.

Elliot shrugged at Olivia's questioning glance. "I never knew for any of my other kids. It's up to you, babe."

Olivia needed time to think about it and talk about baby names with Elliot. "We'll talk it over and let you know when I come back," she told the doctor.

"All right then," Dr. Martins said as she extended her hand to each of them. "Take good care of her, and I'll see you in a couple days for the glucose tolerance test and in three weeks for a checkup. Have a good day." She left the exam room.

Elliot helped Olivia get dressed. "Liv, I know we talked about this over the weekend, but please don't scare me like that again. Promise me you'll tell me whenever something like that happens again."

Olivia sighed. She knew he was right. She had to start thinking for the both of them—well, all _three_ of them—now. She'd been on her own for so long that it was a hard transition to make, but she knew Elliot would be patient with her, as he had been. She cupped his cheek. "I promise."

…

The next few days passed without incident. Olivia took the glucose tolerance test and was found not to be diabetic. Still, the close call rattled her, and she was very careful to follow her doctor's orders. She didn't even mind that Elliot became even more protective than ever. She was beginning to love the feeling of someone fussing over her. It reminded her she was no longer alone.

**Thursday, February 14, 2013**

**Benson-Stabler Residence**

Olivia's eyes fluttered open. She glanced at the alarm clock: 9:30. She started to throw the covers off in a panic, then she remembered she had taken the day off. Elliot had insisted on it, since they were going to the party tonight and she was to take it as easy as possible. His recent behavior puzzled her. He never liked police functions before.

As she sat up and stretched, the bedroom door opened and in came Elliot with a tray. He set it down over her lap and placed his lips on hers for several seconds. "Happy Valentine's Day, gorgeous. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"Only about every day, but who's counting?" Olivia examined the tray. "Oh El. Breakfast in bed. And there's a rose and a card. How sweet. Thank you!" She took his chin in her hand and kissed him.

Elliot shifted closer to her on the bed. "I'm giving your gift to you tonight, so for now it's just a card."

Olivia read it and sniffled. "El, I love you so much too. These last four months have been the happiest I've ever been as well. Yes, we're only just beginning." She reddened. "I'm sorry I didn't get you a card. You know I'm not a card person."

"Hey! It's okay. I don't need a card to know that you love me." He gazed at her for so long that she put down her fork, feeling self-conscious.

"What? Is there something in my teeth?" She patted her hair and made a quick swipe at her nose just in case.

Elliot laughed then caressed her cheek tenderly. "No, my love. I was just sitting her thinking that I'm the luckiest son of a bitch in the world."

She smiled, tilted her head, and kissed his hand. "Yes, you are!" she said with a snort.

Elliot grabbed the tray and prepared to walk away. "Well, if that's how you're gonna be . . . ." He set the tray back down and tousled her hair. "Brat. My beautiful, sexy, smart, strong brat."

Olivia finished her tea. "Watch it, or you won't get this 'brat's' Valentine's Day present to you."

Elliot perked up and began looking around the room. "Oh? Where is it?"

Olivia made a zipping motion across her lips.

"Is it . . . _here_?" Elliot lifted the blankets, eliciting a giggle from Olivia.

He rubbed his chin, thinking. "Is it . . . _here_?" he said as he looked behind her pillow.

She shook her head and winked.

A knowing look came over Elliot's face. He held up his index finger in victory. "I know where it is! It's . . . HERE!" he said and dove under her nightgown.

Olivia could no longer keep quiet. "Ohhhh! It's not . . . THERE! Right there! Oh Elllllll."

He lifted his head and raised her gown up higher then placed a kiss on her stomach. "Happy Valentine's Day, little one. Daddy loves you."

They stayed like this for a while. Finally Olivia made movements as if to get up. Elliot stopped her.

"No, no. You're taking it easy today, remember? We have a big night ahead," he said as he gently pushed her back into bed.

Olivia wouldn't hear it. "El! I _am_ going to take it easy. I don't have to stay in bed all day to do that!" She wrapped her arms around him. "I promise I'll not overdo it. I just want to give you your present."

"Liv, you didn't have to get me anything. Hey, what time will Casey be here to help you with your hair and dress?"

"3:30." Olivia opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out a flat package. She handed it to Elliot.

"Happy Valentine's Day, handsome," she purred.

Smiling, Elliot looked at her for a second then ripped off the paper. Inside was a blue-framed glass under which all his Marine Corps memorabilia was arranged against a black background. A medal saying "Semper Fi" was in the middle, and the Semper Fi medallion he'd given her was at the top, surrounded by his ribbons, patches, and a picture of him in uniform dress. He stared at it silently for several moments, hand on his chin and one finger over his mouth.

"El? Do you like it?" Olivia asked softly.

When he looked up, his eyes shone with unshed tears. "Babe, I love it. Thank you!" he whispered. He set the frame down and gently pulled her into a hug.

She looked up at him. "I'll give _you_ the rest of _your_ gift tonight," she said as she ran her hand down his chest to his crotch.

"Mmmm. I can't wait." He steered her toward the bathroom. "Meanwhile, why don't I draw you a warm bath and you soak for a few minutes. No more than 10 minutes, okay?"

"Yes, Dr. Stabler. I know." She began to remove her gown as Elliot turned on the faucets. He started to leave.

"Aren't you going to wash my back," Olivia pouted as she turned to face him. "And my front?"

Elliot felt his groin stir. It was going to be a long day.

…..

Casey arrived right at 3:30. She ran up to Olivia and they greeted each other excitedly.

Elliot watched them and chuckled. "And so begins the sounds and actions only girls understand between themselves. I'll leave you ladies to do whatever it is you need to do. I'll wait and drool over the end result when you're done."

Olivia threw a box of Kleenex at him. "You _know_ you'll drool. Now shoo."

Amidst another fit of giggles, he exited the room but not before muttering, "I feel like I'm chaperoning a sleepover for 13-year-old girls."

Olivia and Casey took their time getting ready, catching up on the latest news around the NYC judicial system and the NYPD.

"So who's your date, Casey? Anyone I know?" Olivia asked while Casey put her hair in rollers.

Casey caught her eyes in the mirror facing them and smiled. "Maybe," she said quickly and returned her attention to her task.

Olivia pulled back and turned around to face her friend. "Oh no, you don't, Casey Novak. You don't say that and then just clam up. Spill. Who is he?"

Casey sucked in her lips and shook her head. "You'll just have to wait and see."

Olivia swatted at her then turned around so Casey could finish her hair.

"There," Casey stated. "Let's work on your makeup now."

An hour later, both women's hair and makeup were flawless and both were decked in their formal dresses and matching jewelry.

"El!" Olivia shouted. "Are you ready? Come take pictures, then we should go."

Elliot stepped into the bedroom and stopped short, his breath gone. Even when she had dressed up for a date, including one with his former mentor Dick Finley, he had never seen her so dressed up nor so beautiful. Her dress was full length. The bodice gently hugged her bulging belly. The material shirred over the breasts, and two wide straps went up either side and joined around her neck. Cascading down her neck and chest was a silver chain ending in a faux diamond and ruby teardrop pendant; her earrings were matching teardrops. Her hair was pulled into an upsweep with pintucked curls and a few thick bangs over her forehead. Casey looked stunning in her shimmering green strapless floor-length gown with a heart-shaped neckline. She wore similar jewelry, except the stones were faux emeralds. Her red locks were pulled into a tight updo.

Olivia glanced at Casey. "See, I told you he'd drool."

Elliot approached them and gave each a kiss on the cheek. "You look like an angel," he whispered to Olivia, resting his forehead on hers.

"Casey, you look stunning," Elliot said.

She gave a mock courtsey. "Why, thank you, kind sir. You do look quite smashing yourself," she drawled.

Olivia nodded as she gave him an admiring look as he held out his arms and spun around to show off his black tuxedo. "Yes, El. You are incredibly dashing. I'm going to have to fight off the other women."

He wrapped his arms around her. "No worries there. I'm _all_ yours." He kissed her.

"OK, ladies, picture time."

They snapped several shots of each of them, then Elliot helped them put on their coats. He held out either arm to them. "Ladies, shall we?"

As they left, Elliot couldn't help but smirk and think he was going to be the envy of every man this evening and that indeed he may turn a few heads himself. But there was only one woman he had eyes for, only one who had his heart, and he planned tonight to never let her forget it.

…

**Hudson Theater, 145 West 44****th**** Street, Manhattan**

In the past Olivia had never gone to any of these functions, especially on Valentine's Day. Even if she had been dating someone, she never felt serious enough about any of them to bring them to such a place. As she took in the luxurious surroundings, she was glad her first time in the famed theater was with the person who meant more to her than her own life. A new feeling swept over her. For the first time in her difficult life, she felt . . . _blessed._

As they traversed the 100-foot-long lobby, her sense of enchantment continued. She admired the stained glass rotundas and etched white walls and recalled the theater's glory days; even Elvis had played here. She looked at Elliot, a huge smile on her ruby lips, and squeezed his hand. He kissed her forehead.

Suddenly Casey grabbed Olivia's free hand. "There he is. Come on."

"Who?" Olivia said as she looked back apologetically at Elliot, who just grinned.

"My date!" she squealed. She tugged harder at Olivia's hand.

"Ouch, Casey! OK, OK, I'm coming. Who is this mystery ma-?" She stopped short when she saw a very familiar face.

"Hello, baby girl. You look lovely," Fin said as he raised her hand and kissed it. He turned to Casey. "Hey you. Looking gorgeous, as always." He kissed her cheek.

Elliot approached as Olivia looked dumbfounded between Fin and Casey.

"Fin." Elliot shook his former colleague's hand. "So, you and Casey?"

The couple looked at each other and laughed. "Nah, we're tight, but we're just friends," Fin replied. He looked at Casey and raised his eyebrows. "You never know, though."

Casey smiled at him then grabbed Olivia's hand again. "Liv, let's go touch up our makeup and let the boys find us a table."

Olivia started to protest, but Elliot gave her a nod and she relented.

When the ladies were out of earshot, Elliot reached into his tuxedo jacket and handed an object to Fin.

He let out a low whistle. "Man, that's perfect."

Elliot smiled nervously. "I hope she agrees. So, you, Munch, and everyone else got your parts ready?"

Fin clapped his friend on the back. "Stabler, we got your back. Don't sweat it." He held up the object. "I'll give this to Munch. He knows his cue. Speaking of Mr. Bony Ass, there he is now."

"Salutations, dapper gentlemen," John said as he shook their hands. "Where are the fair damsels?"

"They're in the ladies' room. We're to find a table and then I'll come back and take them to it," Fin replied. He handed something to Munch, who nodded and placed it in his suit jacket pocket.

"Anyone seen Captain yet?" Elliot asked, looking around with a concerned expression.

Munch touched Elliot's arm. "Relax, Elliot. He'll be here, if he's not already in there pressing the brass' flesh." He turned toward the main theater. "Gentlemen, shall we?"

Once in the theater, they found Don Cragen, doing just as Munch had predicted. He waved to them and joined them, and they selected a table. Fin went to go find their dates.

As the evening progressed, they were joined by Melinda Warner; Amanda, who was Munch's date for the event; and Nick. Several members of the NYPD brass as well as Casey's colleagues from the legal system stopped by their table and offered their greetings. Not many of them seemed surprised about Elliot and Olivia's relationship and her pregnancy. Even Ed Tucker congratulated them.

As they finished their desserts and swapped embarrassing stories about each other, music began to play. The curtains went up on the stage, and there was a live orchestra. Murmurs of excitement spread through the revelers.

The SVU squad and its legal team were at a table near the stage. Suddenly Olivia realized she recognized the song: "We Are in Love."

"Hey! That's Harry Connick Jr.! I have this CD!" she exclaimed.

Elliot laughed. "I know. I saw it in your collection and requested it."

Olivia's mouth dropped, and her colleagues laughed as well. "You sneaky little—"

Elliot leaned forward and murmured in her ear. "Don't finish that sentence if you want to see what happens next."

As the song continued, Elliot hummed and even sang a few of the words along with the singer on stage:

_'I do.' Could it be that's the phrase you thought never would phase you well, baby? You better hold on tight, 'cuz I'm the one who's supposed to kneel down and propose. Well, all right. I might. I might._

While he sang, he stood them up and twirled her around at their table while their friends looked on. Not wanting to exhaust her, he had her sit back down. The night wasn't over yet.

When the song ended, there was the sound over the PA system as if an audio track was being started. A male voice spoke.

"Would Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler please come up on stage?"

The crowd murmured and gasps could be heard at nearby tables. Theirs, however, was strangely quiet. Olivia quickly turned to Elliot, her eyes wide. He gave her a small smile and extended his hand. "You heard him, Liv. Come on."

Too shocked to say anything, she wordlessly took his hand and followed him onto the stage. When they reached the center, the familiar strains of her favorite love song began, and he took her in his arms and began to sway to the music***:

_I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight_

_I've never seen you shine so bright. Mm hm hm hm._

_I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance,_

_Looking for a little romance given half the chance._

_I have never seen that dress you're wearing_

_Or the highlights in your hair; they catch your eyes._

_I have been blind._

_Lady in Red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek._

_There's nobody here; it's just you and me._

_It's where I wanna be._

_Well, I hardly know this beauty by my side._

_I'll never forget the way you look tonight._

As the second verse began, Elliot pressed his forehead to hers and held her hand in his and brought it to his heart. It was all he could do to keep from kissing her with all the love he had in him, right then and there in front of the entire criminal justice system of New York City. Tears filled his eyes, and when they cleared, he saw that she was crying too. He began to mouth the words:

_I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight._

_I've never seen you shine so bright; you were amazing._

_I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side_

_And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away._

_I have never had such a feeling,_

_Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight._

Elliot never took his eyes from her during the chorus, and at the end, when the singer said, "My lady in red. I love you," so did he. With the hand that had been on her back, he retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and gently dabbed at her eyes then at his own.

When the song ended, he took both her hands in his and took a step back. Since her back had been to the stairs nearest their table, Olivia had not seen what had transpired during the song. Only when she saw something out of the corner of her eye did she turn and notice that all of their colleagues and friends had joined them on stage and most of them were holding a piece of paper.

Elliot sniffled and took a deep breath. He nodded to Munch, who had a microphone and began to speak.

"Nearly 14 years ago, Olivia Benson, you came into the Manhattan Special Victims Unit and into my life and became my partner. That same year I told you that we were partners for better or for worse and that I'd always have your back. Two years ago I left the unit and the force for a time, but you never left my heart. I sent you my Marine Corps Semper Fi medal as a pledge to you, though you didn't understand it then, that I'd come back to you. I had to go through the flames of many professional and personal fires over the last two years, but today I stand before you a new man."

John handed the microphone to Fin, who read from his paper: "Olivia, you've seen me at my best and at my worst, yet you have always stood by me. You have always believed in me, even when everyone else wanted to crucify me. You embody Semper Fi, "always faithful." Even though I didn't deserve it, you let me back into your life, and these last four months with you have been better than I ever could have imagined. You're my breath. You're my life."

Fin prepared to hand the microphone to Casey, who was trying valiantly not to cry. She wasn't succeeding. Wordlessly, he handed her his handkerchief. After she dabbed her eyes, she returned it and took the mike.

Meanwhile, Elliot and Olivia never took their eyes off each other. They didn't even bother to wipe the tears that freely streamed down their cheeks. Olivia mouthed, "I love you," eliciting another small sob from Casey. Fin immediately handed her the handkerchief again, motioning for her to hang on to it. She touched his hand gratefully.

Casey took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as she looked at her paper. "Liv, we've had our ups and downs, our ins and outs, and our share of disagreements over the years. We weren't even partners for a few months. Somehow, though, we always found a way to get back in that Benson-Stabler step and maintain the highest closure rate of any NYPD partnership. We've made a lot of enemies over the years, but I choose to remember the friends, especially the ones up here on this stage with us: Captain Donald Cragen, Sergeant John Munch, Detective Odafin Tutuola, ADA Casey Novak—."

Casey couldn't help it; she had to stop and blow her nose, eliciting light laughter from everyone. She signed and continued. "Detectives Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins, Melinda Warner. There are too many to name and some have moved on or even passed on, but they are not forgotten."

Nick took the microphone and looked at the paper he shared with Amanda. "Now you have new partners, new detectives watching your back, in addition to the old ones."

"Hey, who are you calling 'old'?" Munch interjected. Those within earshot roared with laughter.

Amanda let the noise calm down before she spoke. "I couldn't ask for a better team to protect you while you do what you do best: helping victims of sex crimes and bringing those who commit them to justice. And no one knows this better than our captain, Donald Cragen."

Cragen took the microphone and approached Olivia and Elliot, standing between them. He kissed Olivia's cheek and placed his hand on Elliot's shoulder. "Many times I was told these two were too close and that I should separate them. For a few months I did, but anyone who has been in a room with these two for more than five minutes quickly understands that there is a connection between them and you can't tell where one begins and the other ends."

Don faced Elliot. "Elliot, you're like a son to me. So when you came to me a week ago and asked me that question you asked me, I felt honored. And it gives me no greater honor and pleasure now than to give you my blessing to propose to Olivia."

There was a collective gasp throughout the room. This was followed by an unidentified man in the crowd yelling, "IT'S ABOUT TIME, STABLER!", which received laughter and applause.

Don smiled, hugged Elliot, and handed him the microphone. Munch approached and handed Elliot a small burgundy velvet box. He gave him a wry smile, clapped him on the shoulder, and returned to stand next to his colleagues.

Elliot cleared his throat and bent down on one knee. Olivia's hands flew to her mouth. Fin reached in his pocket and pulled out another handkerchief and gave it to Casey.

"Liv, you have made me the happiest man alive. Tonight I, Elliot Stabler, am here to ask you to become my partner again, not as a detective or member of the NYPD, but as my wife. Olivia Marie Benson, will you marry me?"

Olivia gazed first at the ring he held up to her. It was a white gold band containing two gemstone hearts side by side, with four diamonds on the outside of either gem. Then she raised her eyes to Elliot's. Both their eyes were shimmering with tears: his mesmerizing blue ones, her expressive chocolate brown ones. One look in them and he knew their answer before she boldly announced it for everyone else's benefit:

_"YES! YES! YES!"_

Amid whooping, whistling, and applause, Elliot handed the mike to the bandleader and excitedly put the ring on Olivia's ring finger. It was a perfect fit. He wrapped his arms around her and spun her around then kissed her passionately, no longer caring what anyone thought. Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson were getting married!

**A/N: I'm sure many of you saw that coming, but I sure had fun writing it. There's been a lot of commotion in SVU fandom this past week with the last episode showing Olivia on a plane to the Bahamas, holding someone's hand. Hardcore EO shippers like me can only dream "the hand" belongs to Elliot, but if it's not him, well, there's always fanfiction! Stay tuned; more surprises to come. MM**

***Chris DeBurgh "Lady in Red." Did anyone catch the little David Haden tribute? MM


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 "The Changes"

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I've been sick and also kinda lost my EO mojo. I'm getting ready to start a 2****nd**** job and won't have as much time or energy to write, so I wanted to get this out. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. MM**

**Also, I've moved Olivia's pregnancy stage up a couple weeks. The due date remains the same, but after some research it would appear she should be further along, at least based on how they calculate due dates and how far along a woman is. So starting at this point in the story (February 14), she is 18 weeks along.**

They were all hardly off the stage and heading toward their table when Casey grabbed Olivia's hand.

"I can't take it anymore. Let me see that ring!" she gushed.

Everyone laughed, including Olivia. "Calm down, Casey. Can we sit first? My feet are killing me."

While everyone else was getting seated, Elliot placed his hand on the small of Olivia's back. "Are you feeling okay?" he murmured in her ear. She looked up at him, brought their linked hands to her mouth and kissed his, nodded.

"Finally!" Casey sighed loudly. "Oooooh, it's beautiful!" she squealed as she examined the ring from every angle. She looked up at Elliot. "What are these stones? Opal and black onyx?"

Elliot nodded. He had hoped to explain the significance of the ring to Olivia in private, but after how everyone had helped him this evening, he saw them as family and now didn't mind sharing why he chose this ring. Although he spoke for everyone to hear, his eyes were solely on Olivia, his fiancée. He picked up her hand and held it as he spoke.

"When I decided to propose, I knew I had to get a ring as unique as you are: tough but tender, compassionate but badass, independent yet resourceful. Because of the nature of your job, you would want something understated yet visible. I chose our birthstones: opal for October and black onyx for December. They're opposites, black and white, yin/yang, fire and ice, but they go together. They complement each other. And that's just how we are: Benson and Stabler. I lost my temper with the perps; you gave your heart to the victims. I see things in black and white; you see the shades of gray. You love me despite my many faults; I love you for how perfect you are."

By this time, all the women, Olivia included, were dabbing their eyes with tissues. "Oh El," she whispered as she held his hand to her cheek. "I'm not perfect, but this ring is. I love it. Thank you." She leaned forward and kissed him.

"Look on the inside," he told her. When she looked confused, he removed the ring and held it up. "The inscription."

Olivia squinted at the ring. In the dim lighting she could vaguely make out writing.

"I know it's hard to see. It's our badge numbers and 'Semper Fi'," Elliot explained as he replaced the ring on her finger.

This elicited a collective "aw" from the women.

Elliot turned his attention to the rest of their group. "I want to thank each and every one of you for agreeing to help me tonight and being part of one of the happiest moments of my life. I will not forget it. And this is a small token of my appreciation," he said as he motioned to a waiter who had just arrived with bottles of champagne.

While the champagne was being poured, Elliot turned to Olivia. "I'm sorry I didn't say all those things myself. I really didn't think I could get through it all without choking up." His tone was apologetic.

She placed a hand on his arm. "El, there is no need to be sorry. _You_ came up with those words, and I really love how you got all the most important people in my life involved in one of the happiest moments of _my_ life." They shared a prolonged closed-mouth kiss.

"Hey now, save that for after we share a toast!" Munch chided.

When the soft laughter subsided, Don stood up and raised his glass, looking at the newly engaged couple with a tender smile on his face. "Elliot, do you remember what you said when I first told you that your new partner would be a woman?"

Elliot looked at Olivia and blushed. It was the same thing she had said to him on the first case they worked together after her return from Oregon. "I said, 'Why? Is she assigned to be my handler?'"

There were chuckles and knowing glances around the table. Don continued. "Trust me, son. You needed one, then and now! All kidding aside, little did I know then, but that was probably the best command decision I ever made. You two got your asses and mine in more trouble than I care to remember, but you were also the best damn pair of detectives I've ever had the honor of commanding. You got results with both perps and victims, the highest case closure rate of any partnership in the NYPD. Like I said up there, you two became so connected, so close that I almost had to separate you. In some ways, I wish I had, because maybe we'd be celebrating this moment a little sooner! Elliot, Olivia, it's been a long time coming, but you're together now, and I couldn't be happier for you both. May you have as intense and intimate a marriage partnership as your SVU one was. And may the child you're carrying be blessed enough to look more like his or her mother! Cheers!"

Amid laughter and "Cheers!", everyone raised their glass then took a sip. Olivia drank from her glass of water.

Munch and Fin each took a turn giving a toast, each one arguing that the other one owed him for losing the bet on when Elliot and Olivia would admit their love for each other.

Casey tapped on her glass with a spoon. "Let's hear from the future bride! Speech! Speech!"

When the joined her chanting, Olivia realized there was no way out of it. Slowly she stood up.

"I'll have you all know when I first learned I would be paired with Elliot Stabler, I wasn't jumping for joy either! And our first year or so together didn't do much to change my mind. At first I resented his overprotectiveness, and when he assigned a protective detail to me behind my back, I was beyond pissed that he didn't seem to think I could take care of myself." She turned to him, smiled tenderly, and took his hands in hers. "But what I saw as overprotectiveness I now see as loyalty, concern, and yes, love. Now I wouldn't have it any other way. This man has kept his promise from our first year as partners: He has always had my back. Elliot, we may not always agree, but I know your intentions are always honorable, always for the best. I can think of no man I'd rather spend my life and raise a child with than you, Elliot James Stabler. We have always been partners for better or for worse, and we always will be."

As hearty "Cheers!" arose, Olivia sat down and leaned into Elliot. "I love you, El," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead to his. In that instant, he truly couldn't see how life could get any better.

…..

**Benson-Stabler Residence, 136****th**** Road, Queens**

They barely made it in the house before Olivia pounced on Elliot, kissing him with ferocity. As she steered him toward their bedroom, she removed his bowtie and began unbuttoning his shirt. At the foot of the bed, she shucked off his shirt and tuxedo jacket together and began to work on his belt buckle. He gasped as she reached into his pants and grasped him.

"Mmmm," she purred. "All ready for me, I see." She pushed him backwards onto the bed, hiked up her dress, and began to straddle him.

He lifted his hips so she could remove his pants and boxers. "Somebody is in the mood!" he said with a chuckle.

"Like I told you this morning, this is the rest of your Valentine's Day present. Besides," she murmured as she leaned forward and sucked on his neck, "I got mine this morning, but you didn't get yours. Now shut up and fuck me, Stabler."

Elliot sat up and hiked her dress up over her hips. To his delight, he saw she wasn't wearing panties. He wrapped his arms around her and thrust his cock inside her, eliciting a long, loud shriek from her. She pushed both hands against his chest, forcing him to lie back. She slid her hands up to his broad shoulders then down his arms then grasped both his hands. Leaning on them for support, she pumped up and down on him. He lay still and watched her eyes flutter closed and her face contort in pleasure as she moved.

Olivia opened her eyes and caught his gaze. "What?" she said, slowing her movements.

"I don't know how you do it, but every time we make love, it's better than the last. And you are more beautiful than ever," he whispered.

"Oh El!" she sniffled.

Wordlessly, Elliot removed her dress and her bra. Supporting her weight in his strong arms, he gently guided them so that they were lying on their sides facing each other, their legs criss-crossing like scissors. He began thrusting as he grasped the side of her head and pressed his lips to hers. He slid his tongue into her mouth and mimicked the movement of their lower bodies. Olivia reached her hands around his body and worshipped his ass, her favorite part of his body.

He picked up the pace, which caused her to moan louder and grip his ass harder. As her climax approached, she knew her nails would leave marks, but she couldn't help it. As her orgasm washed over her, he thrust hard a few more times and cried out as he came. They stayed entwined, catching their breath, for a long moment.

Later, after hanging up their formal clothes and putting on sleepwear, they lay side by side again, facing each other. Elliot held her left hand in his, while she alternated between smiling at him and admiring her ring.

"So, Mrs. Stabler," he said.

"Slow down there, cowboy. We just got engaged. I'm not Mrs. Stabler yet."

He looked at her thoughtfully. "So when do you want to become Mrs. Stabler? I know we talked a little about this on the way home tonight, but what's stopping us from setting a date?"

She scoffed. "Only about 50 things! Not the least of which is this child still growing inside me. Your grandchild, that trip to Paris, my job."

"That's four things," he countered. "Speaking of the Paris trip, needless to say, when I bought the tickets, I didn't know we'd be expecting. We could make it our honeymoon. What do you think?

Olivia frowned. "That is a lovely idea, but I'm 18 weeks now and I know Dr. Martins isn't going to approve of me traveling overseas before the baby is born. Not that I want my first visit to Paris to be while I'm bloated and waddling like a duck, anyway."

Elliot gently caressed her cheek. "You're not _bloated_. You're pregnant. We wouldn't have to do all the tourist-y things, but you're right. The doctor probably won't go for it, and it's not the best idea to go now or in the spring, when you'll be further along."

She thought for a moment. "How about we go on our anniversary?"

Elliot furrowed his brow. "Didn't you just say we just got engaged? How can we go on our anniversary if we're not married yet?"

She looped her arms around his neck. "We will be by then. I meant the anniversary of us getting together: in October, around the time of your birthday. We could get married before we go."

As the idea sank in, a smile slowly spread over his handsome face. "A grandchild in June, a new son or a daughter in July, and you becoming my wife in October." He kissed her. "How did I get so blessed?" he said huskily.

"Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot," she teased, and they both shared a hearty laugh. She had told him shortly after they began dating how she had visited his mother. He wasn't thrilled at first, but he told her it all worked out in the end and he appreciated how she was always there for him and his family.

Olivia was silent for a moment, and Elliot knew something was worrying her. "What is it, honey?"

She looked up at him, biting on her thumbnail. "We have SO much to do between now and then! Baby stuff, wedding stuff, Paris stuff!" She began to breathe faster.

Elliot pulled her into his arms. "Shh. Relax. I'm here; we'll get it all done. We can do as little or as much as you want. Just don't worry, okay?"

"Mkay," she muttered into his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "We should get some sleep, but first, when is your next OB appointment?"

"In two weeks, on the 28th." She raised her head. "Do you want to find out what the sex is?"

He shrugged. "I don't care either way. All my children were surprises. What do you want to do?"

"Part of me wants to know, but another part wants to be surprised too. So I guess, if it's okay with you, we'll just wait and find out? Baby items are so gender neutral these days anyway."

He laughed and pulled her closer. "Babe, I told you either way is fine with me. So, we wait."

"We wait," she echoed. She paused then added, "We should still pick out names, though."

He settled deeper into the bed. "Tomorrow, Liv. We have time." He kissed her. "Good night. I love you."

"I love you too."

…

**Saturday, February 16, 2013**

**Babies "R" Us, College Point, NY**

"Oh that is _cute_!" Olivia exclaimed when she saw the newborn gown Maureen was holding up.

The young blond smiled at her future stepmother as she put several in her shopping cart.

Olivia looked through the pile. "Why are you buying two of each pattern? You've got about 10 here. Isn't that a lot for one baby?"

"Well, actually . . . ." Maureen grinned sheepishly.

Olivia's eyes widened. She grabbed the woman's shoulders. "No! Really? You're having—"

"Twins! Yes, I am! Two girls." She rubbed her belly.

Olivia hugged her. "Have you told your father? Oh, he's going to faint!"

"Actually, I was thinking of keeping it as a surprise, maybe like a Father's Day gift, since that's about the time they'll be due," Maureen said.

Olivia cocked her head to the side and stared at Elliot's oldest daughter. "Um, sweetie, I don't think that's such a good idea. Your dad has a _lot_ going on right now, and maybe such a surprise will be a little too much for him. I can tell him, if you prefer."

Maureen shook her head. "No, you're right. With your baby and the wedding and all, it's a lot all at once. Let me tell him. I won't wait; I promise."

Olivia put her arm around the young woman. "Come on. Let's check out the furniture section. Your father and I will pay for the crib—_cribs_. Call it an early shower present. Speaking of . . . ."

Maureen's expression grew wistful. "About that. Um . . . . "

"Sweetie, what is it? You can tell me," Olivia prodded.

"Well, it's just that Mom has already planned a shower for me, and Kathleen and Elizabeth are helping. I'm sorry."

Olivia pursed her lips into an understanding smile. "Say no more. I was just thinking we could have one together. We still could. Who says you can't have two showers, especially when you're having twins? We could tell your father then. My friend Casey wants to throw my shower; I'm sure she won't mind planning one for both of us."

Maureen brightened, no longer worried that Olivia was upset over Kathy's involvement. "Sure, that sounds great. Ooh, how about this crib! It's adorable!"

"Great. It's settled. We'll do it probably in April or May. Now, let's go pay for all this baby stuff and arrange for delivery. Elliot is going to flip when he sees all I got!" Olivia chuckled nervously.

Maureen placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder. "He's used to it, Liv. And since it's your first, I don't think he'd say anything anyway!"

**Benson-Stabler residence**

"Good God, Liv! Did you leave anything on the shelves?" Elliot exclaimed when he saw all the bags and boxes filling up the car and the trunk.

"I guess now is not a good time to tell you there are more things that will be delivered next week?" she replied meekly.

He gave her a blank stare as he stood with his arms loaded with baby items. He shook his head and went into the house.

Olivia rummaged through the remaining items for something small she could carry. As she picked up a box, Elliot came running out and grabbed it from her.

"I knew you'd do that. Here, let me take this stuff inside. You go rest. I'm sure you're worn out from buying the whole store." Elliot steered her into the house.

Olivia began to cry. "Elliot, I'm sss—sorry! I just got there and got overwhelmed. I didn't realize one little baby would need so much!"

Elliot took her in his arms. "Babe, I'm not angry. I was just teasing you. We _do_ need to watch our spending, but you did fine. This _will_ be the most equipped baby in Queens, I gotta admit." He looked down at her so she could see the laughter in his eyes. She finally believed him and smiled.

"There now. Much better! Come on. Let me fix you some tea then we'll figure out where to put everything. Sound good, hm?" He rubbed her arms up and down. She nodded.

Later that evening, Olivia felt a little lightheaded and just barely made it to the couch before the dizziness overtook her. This did not go unnoticed by Elliot.

"LIV! What happened? What's going on?" He hovered over her, inspecting her up and down.

She put her arm over her forehead. "I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy, that's all."

Elliot frowned. "You're not fine. You overdid it today, and that was just shopping. Liv, I think it's time we talk about it."

She turned her face toward him. "About what?"

"About you leaving SVU."

….

**A/N: Is Elliot really asking Olivia to leave Special Vicitms? Will she agree? What do you think—is it time for her to leave the unit? I have a couple ideas, but leave a review and tell me what you think she should do if she agrees to leave SVU. MM**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 "The Decision"

Olivia tried to sit up, but another wave of vertigo rendered her incapable. Frustrated with the dizziness, the timing of it, and Elliot, she sighed loudly. She slowly turned her head toward Elliot, who was kneeling next to the couch.

"El! You really want me to leave SVU, my life for almost 15 years?"

"Liv, I know you love SVU. I was once part of it, remember? My top priority, however, is your health and safety and that of our child. You understand that, don't you?" He took her hands, his blue eyes filled with concern and love.

Olivia's expression softened a bit. "Yes, El, I do. And your protectiveness is one of the things I love about you, but I think you're being overly protective. I can do my job. I'm good at it. Being pregnant doesn't change that."

Elliot brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. "Honey, I know you're an excellent cop. That's not the question. It's just that the job is so dangerous and stressful, and now you have someone else to think about. Well, _two_ someones. Doesn't what I want count, Liv?"

She tried to sit up again. When her head did not spin in protest, she came to a sitting position. Elliot joined her on the couch. He continued to hold her hands with one hand and placed the other one on her shoulder.

Olivia tilted her head to the side. "Of course your wants and needs matter. El, we've talked about this, and I'm already on desk duty. The most dangerous thing I face these days is a paper cut!"

Elliot's jaw tensed. "Not funny, Liv. Look, I know you're probably bored out of your mind and hating staying behind while the others go out in the field. Hell, I've been there. But we both know that even the squad room is not a safe place." He knew he didn't have to mention the many incidents where attacks and even deaths had occurred in the nerve center of their precinct, not the least of which was the one that caused Elliot to turn in his papers and hang up his detective shield.

Olivia lowered her head and sighed again. "Trust me, I know," she said quietly as she squeezed his hand. She looked up, locking her gaze on his. "But El, there's danger everywhere. You can't protect me from it all."

Elliot inhaled deeply then rubbed the back of his neck, a sign of his frustration. "You're right, I can't, but like I said, it's my job to do what I can to make sure you and our child are safe. And these spells have been getting more frequent. Dr. Martin said your BP hasn't gone down and if this keeps happening, you need to avoid stress. I think it's time you go on leave." He sat up, stiffening his back, ready for a fight.

He didn't have to wait long. "Elliot! I'm not even six months along! What am I going to do for the next three-plus months?" Olivia tried to stand up, but another wave of dizziness knocked her back down onto Elliot's lap. His arms flew up to steady her.

"There, you see? Liv, you're not the first woman to need to put her activities on hold because of pregnancy."

Olivia pushed against his chest. "You condescending son of a bitch! I'm _not_ invalid! And my JOB is _not_ an ACTIVITY."

Elliot tried to pull her back to him, but she freed herself from his grip and stood up. The resulting vertigo made her vision fuzzy and she found it difficult to steady herself, but she was damned if she was going to let it show and prove him right . . . even though she knew he was. If she was honest with herself and him, she would admit she had been reflecting on her future as an SVU detective. However, right now her pride and anger got the better of her. She had been independent her entire life and had no one to rely on but herself for making such decisions. Olivia knew Elliot had valid concerns and she needed to be open to his wishes; after all, they were going to be married. Still, old habits were hard to break, and if there was one trait Olivia had, it was stubbornness. With her pregnancy, she had it in spades.

"Liv, where are you going?" Elliot stood up to follow her.

"To make myself some tea," she called over her shoulder. As she turned her head forward again, everything went black and she stumbled.

Elliot ran to her and caught her before she fell. He lifted her up. Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her. They stood like that for a moment, both panting from the exertion and the emotion.

"Now do you see why I'm so concerned? Liv, I love you _so _much," he whispered huskily against her ear. "If anything were to happen to you, to our baby, I—" He couldn't finish. He simply held her tighter and pressed his face against the side of her head.

Olivia closed her eyes; tears streamed down her cheeks. _I can be such a stubborn idiot, _she thought. _He's only acting out of love, and here I am championing women's rights. But God, I don't want to leave SVU!_

She turned around in his arms, buried her head against his shoulder, and sobbed. He didn't say anything; he just held her, stroking her hair and her back until she calmed. He led her back to the couch and eased her onto it.

"I'll make you some tea, Honey," he said as he brushed her hair off her forehead.

She sniffled. "Oh, just a little bit of sugar, no honey," she said.

His sudden burst of laughter confused her. He leaned forward and nuzzled her nose. "Silly. I was calling _you_ Honey, Honey." He pressed a chaste kiss on her lips, which curved into a smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Be nice to me, or you ain't getting no sugar, Honey."

"Touché," he replied. He fixed her tea and helped her sit up on the couch.

"Thank you, babe," she said with a grateful look as she cradled the hot drink before taking a cautious sip.

Olivia closed her eyes and smiled. "Mm. Perfect. You always know just the way I like it."

Elliot waited until she looked at him again. "You _know_ I do," he said as he wiggled his eyebrows. He was relieved when she laughed.

She set her mug down and took one of his hands between hers. As she did, she caught sight of her engagement ring, remembering what he had said about it. "El, like you said, we are yin/yang, fire and ice. We're going to clash. We're Benson and Stabler, after all," she said with a lopsided grin. He returned the smile and squeezed her hands.

"But," she continued, "we're going to have to come to an agreement on the important things. This is one of them. And—write this down—you're right . . . . "

He gasped in mock disbelief, which earned him a chest slap. He feigned injury.

"El, I'm serious. You're right; maybe it is time for me to consider leaving the unit—at least _temporarily_," she stressed.

Elliot brought his free hand and closed it over hers. "Liv, I know you and realize that took a lot for you to admit. It means a lot to me. I really think it's time you look into a different job, one less dangerous, cuz let's face it, having a child changes _everything_. But I'll take what I can get. You're really okay with taking a leave now?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes. I'll talk to the captain Monday. I'm sure he'll understand. However, he may need some time to make necessary adjustments. Do I have your blessing to stay a couple more weeks?"

Elliot scratched his chin. He wasn't happy about it, but he wasn't going to push his good fortune either. "I guess I can live with that."

She touched his face. "Thank you, El. I can't leave just like that. I need time to adjust, to say goodbye. It's just two weeks. I'll be fine."

Elliot, having worked with Cragen, Fin, and Munch and having met Rollins and Amaro on a few occasions, knew she was in good hands. Still, those two weeks couldn't pass soon enough for him.

…

**Manhattan 16****th**** Precinct, SVU**

**Monday, February 18, 2013**

Olivia sat in her captain's office, silent. When she had said she needed to talk to him, Don Cragen knew what it'd be about. Unknown to Olivia, Elliot had called him and told him of his and Olivia's weekend discussion. He wanted to be sure Don was in his corner should Olivia change her mind about taking a leave.

"He wants me to leave SVU," Olivia finally said, looking down at her hands fidgeting on her lap.

"Can you honestly say that surprises you? This is Elliot we're talking about here," Don replied quietly.

"No," she admitted. When she looked up, her eyes were full of tears. "But Captain, this . . . SVU is . . . I—I don't know what else to do. It's what I'm good at."

Don got up from behind his desk and sat on the edge of it facing her. "Liv, you're a damn good cop. No one, not me and especially not Elliot, is questioning that. You're my best detective. Yes, I'd hate to lose you. But it's not about me, and it's no longer just about you, is it?"

"That's what he said." Olivia stood up and walked to the door that led into the squad room. Looking through the blinds, she saw the last 15 years of her life: joining SVU; becoming Elliot's partner; taking statements from victims, witnesses, and suspects; the late nights; the endless reports; learning the truth about her mother's rape and that she had a brother; the day Elliot left SVU. Truth be known, that was the day she left too. She hadn't been the same since. She was Elliot's partner; _that_'s who she was.

"And I still am," she said softly.

"Pardon?" Don said.

Olivia turned around to face her captain. In many ways, he was like the father she never had. She would miss him the most.

"Captain, I know my life is going to change dramatically with this baby," she began as she ran her hands over her belly. "I mean, it already has. In the last four months, Elliot has come back into my life, we're having a baby, and we're getting married. The one thing I've always wanted, I finally have: a family."

Don gave her a small smile. "It sounds like your decision is clear."

Olivia nodded slowly. "Yes. Yes, Captain, it is. I'm going to leave SVU, at least until after the baby is born. The time off will give me a lot of time to think about what to do after that."

Don took a step closer and placed a hand on her arm. "You know, Liv, you've always been great with the victims, helping them through the worst time of their lives. Something to think about," he said as he patted her arm and returned to his chair. He pulled out paperwork and began to write.

"So when shall we have your farewell party?" he asked, pen poised.

"I told Elliot no more than two more weeks. I didn't want to leave you short."

"Leave the worrying to me. That's why I'm the captain," Don replied with a grin. "So, March 1?"

Olivia inhaled deeply. "Sounds about right. Listen, uh, do you mind if I'm the one to tell the others? I think it should come from me," she said as she pointed over her shoulder.

Don nodded. "Not a problem. If you need anything at all, you know where to find me."

"Thank you, Captain." Olivia's eyes shone with fresh tears.

Don gave her a tender look. "Like I told your fiancé, call me Don."

Olivia winced. "I don't know. That'll take some getting used to. Besides," she said with her hand on the door knob, "you're still my captain for two more weeks."

Don watched through his glass door as Olivia approached the other detectives and told them the news. He registered the initial shocked expressions and observed them turn to sad ones as they each hugged their beloved colleague and friend. Fin hovered the longest, which didn't surprise Don. They'd known each other almost since the beginning and had a tight bond. Fin's protectiveness of Olivia nearly rivaled that of Elliot's. Her absence would be deeply felt throughout the 1-6 but most notably in this bullpen.

**Benson-Stabler Residence, 136****th**** Road, Queens**

That night in bed, Elliot held Olivia while she cried. He hated to see her upset, but he understood the reason and knew she needed to express her feelings. He rubbed her back, resting his chin on her head.

"Ooh!" she cried suddenly.

"Hon, what is it?" Concern furrowed his brow.

Olivia rolled onto her back and placed both hands on her abdomen. "Oh!" she exclaimed again. She took one of his hands and placed it on her belly.

Soon he felt it: a kick against his hand. The baby—their baby—was moving!

A huge grin plastered across his face, he looked at Olivia. Her eyes were still wet with tears, but now they were tears of joy.

"The baby's kicking! El, feel that! It's moving!" she whispered in awe.

Having experienced this with each of his five children, this was not new to Elliot, but he couldn't help but be caught up in Olivia's wonder and enthusiasm. This was her first baby, and he wanted to experience it fully with her.

"Why isn't he or she sleeping? It's midnight!" Olivia asked.

Elliot laughed. "Get used to it, sweetheart," he said as he caressed her cheek. "This is the most active times for babies, and since you're still, you'll feel it more. It'll increase as the pregnancy advances."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Oh great! You mean I'll have sleepless nights even _before _the baby is born?"

"Afraid so."

"Well, if _I'm_ not sleeping, _you're_ not sleeping," she huffed.

He laughed again. "Honey, you'll get used to it. Besides, one of us needs good sleep. No sense both of us being insomniac zombies."

Olivia smacked his arm. "Why is it all fun for the man and all work for the woman?"

He nuzzled her neck. "Oh come on. You had as much fun making this baby as I did. We can have a little fun now." A large hand slid up to one of her breasts and cupped it.

"El. El. Stop. El." She moaned despite her protests.

He raised his head but kept squeezing her breast. "Hmmm?"

"The baby," she whispered. "Won't he or she . . . you know, _feel_ us? I mean, you said the baby is awake. Kinda creeps me out."

He rolled onto his side and leaned on his elbow. "Liv, honey, the baby doesn't know the difference. We can have sex right up until the end of the pregnancy. It won't hurt the baby either. In fact, near the due date, orgasm could even trigger labor."

Olivia's eyes widened. "Oh, there is no way Daddy's poking his 'head' in to say hi right before the birth."

Elliot threw his head back and laughed. "You know, for a sex detective, you sure don't know much about this part."

"Well, you can't really blame me. I mean, I've never been pregnant before! Give me a break, El." She crossed her arms.

Elliot stroked her arm. "I'm sorry, babe. Oh, hey, almost slipped my mind. Maureen called me today. She wants to meet me for lunch Wednesday. Do you know what it might be about?"

Olivia was silent too long. When she started to reply, he cut her off.

"You know something, don't you, Liv? What is it? Tell me. Is she okay?"

"Oh no, El, she's fine. Don't worry. It's just I promised her she would be the one to tell you," Olivia replied.

"Liv, if it involves my daughter, I want to know. What's going on?" Elliot persisted.

Olivia groaned. She supposed this was one of those moments where her loyalty to her future husband took precedence.

"El, I promised her I wouldn't tell you, so you've got to pretend to be surprised. They're having twins."

His reaction wasn't what she expected.

"Oh shit."

Olivia scoffed. "Classy, Grandpa."

He turned to face her, placing a hand on either arm. "Liv, twins run in the family."

She looked back at him blankly. "Yeah? So?"

"So, I have a set of twins, Maureen is having twins, and for all we know twins run in _your_ family." He waited for it to register.

"OH SHIT."

He nodded. "So, when's your next ultrasound?"

….

**Mercy General Hospital cafeteria**

**Wednesday, February 20, 2013**

Elliot hugged his very pregnant daughter. "Maureen, sweetie. You look great." He leaned down and spoke to her belly.

"Hello in there. This is your grandpa. I love you bo-, uh, bunches." He hoped Maureen hadn't caught on or seen his cheeks flush.

She did give him a strange look. "Are you okay, Dad? You getting enough sleep?"

Elliot took both their trays and followed Maureen to a table.

"I'm fine, honey. Just fine." He looked around. "Steven couldn't get away to join us?"

Maureen opened her pint of milk. "He said he'd try, but no promises. So, how's Olivia?"

Elliot told her about the dizzy spells brought on by her elevated blood pressure and how they had decided she would leave SVU, at least until after the baby was born.

Maureen frowned. "I'm sure that wasn't an easy decision."

Elliot shook his head then stabbed his Salisbury steak. "That's an understatement," he quipped before shoving the meat in his mouth.

"So, Dad. I wanted to meet with you because I have some news. I wanted to wait for Steven, but he said to go ahead."

Elliot finished chewing quickly. "Is everything okay? Are the babies all right?" He slapped his hand to his forehead.

Maureen's face fell. "She told you!"

Elliot reached across the table and took his hand. "Honey, honey, please don't be upset with her. I asked her if she knew anything and made her tell me. Blame me. I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"It's just I wanted to tell you." Maureen pushed the vegetables around on her plate.

Elliot brightened. "Hey! She didn't tell me what they are! You can tell me that part."

Maureen smiled, a mirror image of her father's. "That's true. Congratulations, Grandpa: you're going to have two granddaughters."

Elliot ran around the table and hugged his eldest daughter. "Honey, that's wonderful! I'm so happy!"

"Thanks Dad. We are too. They're doing great. They compete with each other at night to see who can keep Mommy awake the longest," Maureen said with a laugh.

Back in his seat, Elliot nodded. "Our baby kicked for the first time a couple nights ago. Liv wasn't too thrilled to learn that's when he or she will be most active."

"So do you know yet if it's a boy or a girl?" Maureen took a bite of her spinach salad.

Elliot shook his head. "Not yet. We've decided to wait and be surprised. Her next appointment is next week. I love Dickie and Lizzie and I'm thrilled for you and Steven, but I really don't think I can handle another set of twins."

Maureen patted her father's hand. "It'll be okay, Dad. You won't care, as long as the baby or babies are healthy."

He exhaled heavily. "When did my little girl get all grown up?"

"Dad!"

He took their empty trays to the proper receptacle and then wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they left the cafeteria. "You'll understand what I mean one day."

…..

**Columbia Avenue Women's Health Clinic, Manhattan, Dr. Martins' office**

**Thursday, February 28, 2013**

The ultrasound machine whirred and beeped as Dr. Martins passed the transducer over Olivia's belly.

"Everything is looking good, Olivia. Congrats on the engagement, by the way. When's the big day?" Dr. Martins peered over her glasses at the couple.

"October," they both answered.

The doctor chuckled. "Waiting until after the little one makes an appearance, eh? You sure you don't want to find out if it's a boy or a girl? I could tell you right now."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. Olivia shook her head.

"Uh no, we still want to wait. But, uh, can you . . . I mean, are you able to tell us if there is more than one baby?" Elliot asked.

Dr. Martins smiled. She flipped a couple switches on the machine, and soon a whooshing sound could be heard. "Just one heartbeat and just one baby. See?" She moved the transducer around so they could see different angles of their baby.

"Oh El. Look! Our baby." She squeezed his hand.

He kissed her gently. "Our baby," he whispered. "Doc, can we get pictures?"

"Sure thing. My secretary will have them ready for you at checkout. Olivia, you've made a wise decision to stop working. Just keep an eye on your blood pressure, and if the spells increase or worsen, give me a call right away. I'll see you in a few weeks."

On the drive home, Olivia reached over and took Elliot's hand. "Thank you."

He looked at her and smiled. "For what?" he asked, returning his eyes to the road.

"For everything. Just . . . being you. I love you, El."

He squeezed her hand. "I love you too, babe."

"Hey, you're still coming to the party Friday, right? Technically the father doesn't go to the baby shower, but it's a farewell party too. Casey insists you be there."

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," he said and brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

**A/N: Next up, Olivia's SVU baby shower/farewell party and a surprise or two before Baby Bensler makes his or her entrance in the world. Thank you for reading and please leave a review and tell me how I'm doing. I appreciate everyone's input! MM**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 "The Last"

**En route to Manhattan 16****th**** Precinct, SVU**

**Friday, March 1, 2013**

Elliot had taken the day off from his job so that he could go to Olivia's baby shower/farewell party at the 1-6. Several days prior, she had mentioned having a joint shower for Maureen, but in the interim it had been decided that Maureen would have her shower given by Kathy and by her sisters. Before the babies were born, they would have a family gathering at Elliot and Olivia's house and exchange baby gifts.

On the way to the precinct, Olivia had hardly said two words. She simply gazed out the window, her chin resting against her hand. Occasionally he could hear a sniffle. He couldn't bear to see the silent tears streaming down her cheeks, knowing his part in the reason for her sadness. It also brought back deeply buried emotions for him about his own last day with the SVU. Certainly, the circumstances were different, but he was all too familiar with the grief she was feeling. He began to think perhaps it had not been a good idea to combine her baby shower with her farewell party. Then again, it might cheer her up a bit, and the same people would have been at both parties anyway. The SVU was not made up of just her colleagues or even friends; they were her family.

Near the precinct Elliot parked the car and shut off the engine. He turned to Olivia, who was still facing the side window. She seemed unaware that they had arrived. When Elliot gently placed a hand on her shoulder, she even flinched. Still, she did not look at him but instead focused on her lap. He waited for her to say something, but she simply stared down at her hands. Suddenly they covered her face and something between a wail and a sob escaped her.

"Oh God, baby! Come here!" Elliot managed with a voice thick with emotion. He undid her seatbelt before pulling her roughly into his arms. Olivia threw her arms around his neck and sobbed loudly. He simply rocked her back and forth, his own tears wetting her hair and shoulder. After several minutes, she stopped crying but continued to rest her head on his shoulder. He smoothed her hair and rubbed her back.

Finally she straightened and pulled back. Elliot sniffed loudly. He cupped her cheeks in either hand, wiping away the remnants of her tears with his thumbs. He tucked her hair behind her ears and offered a sad smile. He thought to himself how beautiful she still was even with a tear-stained face and red eyes and nose. He'd never seen her mocha-colored eyes shine more brightly; they were almost as black as the onyx of her engagement ring.

"Feeling better now?" he asked softly.

Olivia nodded and wiped her nose. "I must be a sight." She pulled down the visor and inspected herself in the attached mirror. She frowned and wiped at her eyes and finger-combed her hair.

"Liv, you're gorgeous, as always. Everyone knows this is going to be an emotional day and that tears are normal." Elliot hoped his tone conveyed the conviction he felt.

She turned to him and gave him a small smile and patted his leg. "I know," she whispered. She turned to look in the back seat, where there were multiple bags and packages, gifts she had brought for her SVU family.

Elliot followed her gaze. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll get those later. I'll go in with you first and get you settled, okay?"

Olivia nodded and got out of the car. She waited for Elliot to join her on the sidewalk. He held his arm out, bent at the elbow.

"Ready?" His blue eyes communicated the full meaning of the one-word question: "I am your partner, then, now, and forever. I will not let you go through this alone."

She took his arm, set her jaw, and nodded. "Ready."

**Special Victims Unit**

Despite nearly 20 years on the force, Olivia was still surprised at how quickly word traveled through the precinct. From the moment she and Elliot entered the building, almost everyone they passed stopped them and congratulated them on the baby and their engagement and wished Olivia well in her "future endeavors."

By the time they got to the floor where the SVU was located, Olivia was grumpy. "They act like I'm never coming back or I'm dying!"

Elliot suppressed a grin. He cleared his throat and placed his hand on her back, guiding her through the busy corridors. "People don't always know what to say, so they say awkward things."

They stopped outside the doors to the squad room. Olivia took a deep breath as she rubbed her belly. As if it sensed her apprehension, the baby gave a hard kick, causing Olivia to flinch.

Elliot's brow knitted in concern. "You okay, Liv? You can do this." He placed a hand on her belly and was rewarded with a kick.

"Well, well. It would seem Baby Stabler is ready to get this party started!" he exclaimed with a chuckle.

Olivia couldn't help but smile. Elliot took her hands and leaned in and kissed her briefly. "You'll get through this. I'll be right there with you."

…..

Casey had gone all out setting up the breakroom with baby-themed decorations and items. Just seeing that made Olivia stop short in the doorway. She put her hand to her mouth and suppressed a sob, but she couldn't stop the tears. Elliot stood behind her, hands protectively on either of her arms, rubbing them up and down. They proceeded to the table in the center of the room.

Everyone except Nick and Amanda, who were out working a case, was present. Captain Cragen informed Olivia and Elliot they would be in as soon as they could. Elliot steered Olivia over to Casey then leaned over and spoke quietly to her. She nodded and patted his hand that was on her shoulder. He squeezed it then left the room to retrieve the packages from the car.

Casey poured Olivia a glass of punch and handed it to her. "So how ya holding up?" she asked with a sympathetic smile.

Olivia rolled her eyes and sniffled. "About like you'd expect. Casey, I can't believe it. Did you ever think . . . " Her voice trailed off.

Casey looked thoughtful. "That you'd get together with Elliot and make lots of Stabler babies with that super sperm of his? Hell yes. That you'd leave SVU? Never. Liv, it's just temporary." She rubbed Olivia's arm. "I mean, you can come back when the baby is old enough, right?"

Olivia looked around the room at her colleagues eating, drinking, chatting, smiling, laughing . . . and soon they'd be doing so without her. Life would go on . . . for everyone. Would there be room for her when she came back? Did she _want_ to come back? Sure, right now she did, but like Elliot said, having a child changes everything. She sighed deeply and looked at Casey for a long moment.

"Sure I can," she said with a small smile. She took a sip of punch, hoping Casey believed her more than she believed herself. She straightened. "Let's get this party started, shall we? Elliot will be back in a moment with gifts for everyone, but that doesn't mean I can't start opening mine, right?"

Casey laughed and took Olivia's punch, setting it down on the table. She hooked their arms together and led Olivia to the center of the room. "Nice try. We're gonna play some games first." She sat Olivia down in a chair that was surrounded by other chairs in a half-circle. "Actually, I do need Elliot for the games, so maybe you could open a couple gifts."

A few sets of sleepers and baby bottles later, Elliot returned. "Hey, you started without me? This is my child too!" He leaned down and kissed Olivia.

She stared him down. "When _you_ are the one to carry the baby for 9 months and then give birth, then _you_ can have all these perks like not waiting to open gifts." She looked behind him at the table. "Thanks for bring all that in, El. Would you mind passing them out? You know who gets what."

Elliot considered a response, but once he saw every woman in the room glaring at him with their arms crossed over their chests, he thought better of it. He flashed his best Stabler grin. "Yes, dear."

Elliot carefully inspected each gift before handing them to the appropriate person. When he got to Amaro and Rollins, he looked around the room and then questioningly at Olivia when he did not see them. He held up the packages and shook them back and forth.

"They're working a case. Give them to the Captain; if they aren't back before the party ends, he can give them to them," Olivia said with a wave of her hand in Cragen's direction.

The gifts passed out, Elliot stood behind Olivia's chair and massaged her shoulders. Casey put two fingers in her mouth and whistled.

"OK, listen up. You'll open your gifts one by one, and Liv's gonna tell you about them as you do," she said loudly. She turned toward Olivia and motioned toward her as if to say she had the floor.

Olivia didn't speak right away, instead gazing down at her belly and almost absently caressing it. When she finally raised her head, the tears were flowing freely. Elliot squatted beside her and took hold of one of her hands.

"Do you want me to do it?" he asked softly as he squeezed her shoulder with his other hand.

She smiled gratefully but shook her head slightly and wiped her eyes. "Thanks, El. I can do it." Elliot squeezed her hand in response then regained his place behind her.

"I realize it's customary for the expectant mother to receive gifts versus giving them. However, this is not your typical baby shower," she started.

"Since when do we ever do anything the typical way?" Munch interjected, earning a round of laughter.

"Got a point there, John," Olivia replied. She drew a long, shaky breath and paused for so long that everyone wondered if she would be able to continue.

Elliot cleared his throat and stepped forward. Taking Olivia's hand and gazing at her for a moment, he then looked around the room slowly, making sure to capture everyone's eyes. Finally, emotion got to him as well and he lowered his head for a moment, quickly wiping at his eyes. He cleared his throat again.

"As you all know, this is not just a baby shower but a sort of farewell party for Liv. We've both talked it over extensively—and butted heads more than once, as you can imagine—but we ultimately decided it was best for her to leave SVU, at least for now, and go on maternity leave. I've not been here for two years, but we're family here and always will be. So you know how hard this decision was for Liv and for me. While we look forward to the birth of our child, we realize it changes everything and so I ask that you please keep us in your thoughts as we continue to discuss the future and what that means for Liv and SVU."

Elliot turned to Olivia to gauge her emotions. She was still teary-eyed but seemed to be holding up. He raised his eyebrows, asking a question only she understood. She nodded, and he stepped back.

"Elliot has given you each a gift from us. Go ahead and open them, and while you do I will tell you what we got Amaro and Rollins. When I first met Nick, he told me he doesn't eat donuts. I asked him how I could trust a cop who doesn't eat donuts. So, we got him a box of assorted donuts from Dunkin' Donuts along with a gift card." Olivia smiled and waited for the chuckles to subside and watched in amusement the facial expressions as each person uncovered their gift.

"Since Amanda is from GEORG-ia," she said with a Southern twang, "we got her a basket of peaches and some peach-scented toiletries: scented candle, hand cream, body lotion, shower gel, and shampoo. You'll smell her coming a mile away."

"Hey, how come the newbies get all the edibles?" Munch complained. Fin punched him and shook his head, a warning look in his eyes.

Olivia reached up and took Elliot's hand, and he helped her stand. He guided her over to Fin, who seemed to have shed a few tears, but his tough guy image would deny it if confronted. Olivia knew the truth, however, that Fin was a softie on the inside. She took his hands in hers, and he had to momentarily look away as he tried not to sniffle.

"Odafin Tutuola, you have a rough exterior, but inside you have a heart of gold. This is why we got you this teddy bear holding a gold heart. You've always been like a brother to me. You've always watched over me, given me solid advice, and told me point-blank when I was wrong. So it's only fitting that you are this baby's uncle and we got you a mug and shirt that say—" She tapped on his arm, indicating for him to show everyone: "World's Greatest Uncle." A chorus of "aw's" went around the room, and Fin and Olivia hugged then he and Elliot shook hands. Elliot clasped his other hand over Fin's, gripped it, and nodded. Fin nodded in return; no words were needed.

They moved to Munch. "John, over the years we've given you a lot of grief about your coffee, even giving it a name," Olivia said.

"SWILL!" shouted everyone in unison before bursting into laughter.

Munch put his hand over his heart as though this pained him. Then he broke into a rare smile while waiting for Olivia to finish.

"So, we thought we'd help improve your reputation and we got you this Keurig coffee maker and several boxes of gourmet coffee." She reached up and kissed the senior detective's cheek, which despite himself was wet with a couple tears that had escaped.

"Please, I'm getting all _verklempt_. Thank you, Liv, El." Munch lowered his voice and pointed a lanky finger toward Fin. "If Teddy over here shirks his avuncular duties, just know Uncle John is prepared to step in." He hugged Olivia and clapped Elliot on the back as they shook hands. "Congratulations , man," he told his former colleague.

Olivia and Elliot stepped over to Melinda, who was beaming at them and whose eyes were shining. She reached and gently patted Olivia's 5-months-pregnant belly. "How are you and the baby doing?" she asked.

"I'm fine. The blood pressure is down and the dizzy spells are fewer. As for this one, he or she has been kicking up a storm lately and making me wish I didn't have ribs!" Olivia laughed. "Anyway, you probably already know what your gifts signify, but humor me."

Melinda smiled and nodded. "Promised!"

"Even though your patients are usually dead by the time you see them—" Olivia began.

"She and the patient both better hope they're dead!" someone quipped.

"ANYWAY," Olivia continued, "you are still a doctor, and a doctor is a healer. You have brought closure to many, many families by helping figure out who or what killed them, and if that is not healing, I don't know what is. You've also assisted many living victims, and you even walked me through performing surgery on you! So, we have given you a framed Ulysses butterfly as a symbol of healing and hope, and these four stones with the Reiki healing symbols on them. I hope you'll think of us whenever you see them."

As they hugged, Melinda assured Olivia she would think of them often. "If you need anything at all during the rest of your pregnancy, don't hesitate to call me, you got that?" Melinda stared into Olivia's eyes until she agreed.

As Olivia met the eyes of her captain, the tears she'd managed to hold back while presenting the others their gifts now overflowed. Instinctively, Elliot's arm slipped around her and drew her close to him. He kissed the side of her head. His own eyes were wet.

"Captain, you may be confused as to why you got only a bag of licorice. Of course, we all know how much you love it, but the real gift just could not be made into something tangible. It's something we have to ask you." Olivia faltered, covering her face with her hands.

Elliot took a deep breath and rocked back on his heels before picking up where she left off. "Don, you've been our captain, our superior, our mentor, and even a father to us. Now we'd like to ask you to be our baby's godfather and if you'll do us the honor of walking Liv down the aisle and giving her away at our wedding."

Don reached into his pocket and retrieved a handkerchief, dabbing his eyes before he spoke. "Elliot, Olivia, I said just about all there is to be said about what you two mean to me and what you've meant to SVU, so I'll spare all of you. Suffice it to say I'm the one who would be honored to be the godfather and to walk Liv down the aisle."

"Thank you, Captain," Elliot and Olivia said in unison.

Don rolled his eyes. "For the last time, call me Don! But don't you dare call me Gramps!"

Olivia turned around and sought out Casey, who was loudly blowing her nose. "And last but not least, Casey Novak. Casey, we haven't forgotten you. How could we? We've had our differences over the years, but here we are and we are so happy you're back in our lives. We have an important question to ask you too, but it'll make more sense when you open your gift."

Olivia extended a small rectangular package to her friend, who searched Olivia's face for a clue then quickly ripped off the paper. She gasped and put her hand over her mouth when she saw it.

"What is it, Case? Let's see that bad boy. Hold it up," Fin demanded.

Casey, who often rode her bicycle to work, held up a small license plate. It read "GODMOTHER."

More "aw's" filled the room as Casey squeaked out, "Yes, of course!" and then hugged Olivia and Elliot heartily.

Everyone was so caught up in the excitement that it was several seconds before someone noticed the person who had just joined the party and stood in the back of the room silent and smiling at the happy couple.

"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! If it isn't Dr. George Huang!" Munch exclaimed.

George reddened a little and gave a small wave. "Hello everyone."

Olivia stopped mid-gesture and spun around when she heard the doctor's name then his voice. "George!" She approached him as fast as her pregnant body would allow, with Elliot close behind her. George met them halfway. He stuck out his hand, but Olivia wrapped him in a hug, which seemed to slightly embarrass the reserved man. Elliot, however, did take his hand and they shared a polite nod.

"Oh George, what are you doing here? I mean, I'm glad you're here, but what a nice surprise!" Olivia looked questioningly at Don, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Thank you, Olivia. I was in town for a psychiatry conference and couldn't very well pass up a visit to SVU, now could I? Besides, I had to see for myself: Benson and Stabler finally together." He spread his hands out in their direction and looked back and forth at the two of them and his smile grew a fraction larger.

"Well, we just finished giving gifts to everyone. I'm sorry; we don't have anything for you," Olivia apologized.

George waved his hand dismissively. "No worries. You didn't know I was coming. Now, don't let me interrupt the festivities. Please continue."

Casey stepped forward and motioned for everyone to draw near. "OK, people. Time for games!"

**A/N: Finally got a moment to update! I'm so sorry it's been so long. I've not been feeling well and I'm now working 2 jobs, so that's left little time to write. I hope this tides you over, but I hope to get the next chapter started tomorrow and perhaps even posted Monday if I don't have a lot of work. Thanks again for your reading and reviewing! MM**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 "The Next Step"

**A/N: I'm SO sorry it's been so long since my last update. A lot of life happened, and I kind of lost my EO mojo. I hope it's back and this chapter was worth the wait! Thank you for your patience! ~ MM**

After everyone had greeted George and he had helped himself to cake and punch, Casey again called for everyone's attention.

"OK. First, let me announce the winners of a couple contests. I must say, for the baby photo match, I'm surprised that EVERY ONE OF YOU got Fin and Melinda wrong! I don't know if Melinda should be insulted or if Fin should take it as a compliment or what, but hey." Casey shrugged and waited for the murmuring to subside. "The one who got the most correct matches was . . . Melinda!"

The doctor smiled as she moved forward to accept the prize from Casey. "What can I say? Staring at bodies all day, I get pretty good at recognizing features. Besides, Don was easy. He's just as bald today as he was back then!" Melinda winked at the captain.

"I didn't think they had cameras back then!" Munch quipped, drawing a round of laughter. Don pretended to grab the lanky man's shoulders and shake him.

Casey eyed Olivia, who was taking everything in and discreetly dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. This didn't go unnoticed by Elliot, who pulled her into his side and kissed the side of her head. Casey's heart was heavy, and she made a mental note to take Olivia for a girl's day out the following week.

She continued. "The winner of the cutest baby is—big surprise—OLIVIA!" As everyone applauded, Casey gave the prize envelope to Elliot. He handed it to Olivia, who opened it.

"A gift certificate for a manicure!" she exclaimed. "Oh, you don't know how badly I've been needing one. Thanks, Case!"

As Casey bent down to hug her friend, Fin scoffed. "What if one of us guys had been voted cutest baby?"

Casey rolled her eyes. "Come on, Fin. Was there any doubt it'd be Olivia?"

"Not in my mind," Elliot murmured as he looked down at his beloved fiancée. She squeezed his hand then leaned her head against him.

"OK. Let me announce the winner of guessing how many bullets were in the jar. Drumroll, please," Casey requested, to which Fin quickly obliged.

"JOHN MUNCH! Here ya go, John." Casey handed him a gift card.

"Starbucks. Very funny! Well, at least I finally won something. My people are proud." John waved the card in the air in a small circle as he rejoined the group. He showed his partner the card, who quickly snatched it. "If anyone deserves this, it's me for putting up with you and your coffee all these years," Fin said with a scowl.

George Huang had been quietly observing the festivities from the refreshments table near the doorway. A movement to his left caught his eye, and he turned to see two young detectives enter the room.

The Hispanic man looked at his blond partner then the crowd. "I hope we didn't miss all the fun!" he announced.

All heads turned their direction. Various voices called out, "Nick! Amanda!"

The two made their way over to Elliot and Olivia. The men shook hands while Amanda bent over and hugged Olivia. "Be sure to see Casey. She has some gifts for you from us," she said quietly, for Casey was attempting to explain the next game. Amanda nodded and touched the older woman's shoulder before dragging Nick to the refreshments table. Olivia was glad to see George step forward and introduce himself.

"OK people. Listen up. For this next game, Elliot is in the hot seat. He has to guess by feel alone which legs are the bride's legs."

A series of 'oohs' and catcalls went around the room as Casey placed a blindfold on Elliot. She enlisted Fin's help to arrange a series of chairs in a straight line at the front of the room then assisted Olivia in sitting in the last one. She gathered all the ladies, including Amanda, then grabbed Munch's elbow and winked at him. Casey held up a finger to her lips as some people snickered when Munch sat down and rolled up his pant legs, revealing hairless legs. He shrugged.

"OK Elliot. First contender right . . . here." She guided him over to the first chair where a uniformed officer sat. Elliot bent down and hesitantly reached out and touched one of her calves. Casey suppressed a giggle as she guided him to the next woman. With each person, Elliot got a little bolder and examined each leg a little more closely with his hands. By the time he got to Munch, everyone was having difficulty suppressing their laughter. Elliot recoiled a little bit as he discovered John's prominent shin. When John put his hand to his mouth and gave a falsetto giggle, the room went into an uproar. Elliot tried to take off his blindfold, but Casey prevented him.

"One more, Stabler. Go," she commanded.

As Elliot ran his hands over Olivia's legs, a mischievous grin broke out on his face. "I'd know these legs anywhere. _This_ is my bride. "

Olivia smiled and leaned forward, kissing him.

"So who was sitting right next to her?" Elliot asked as he removed his blindfold. He looked in shock at John then bent over and shook with laughter.

Munch batted his eyelashes. "Hey Loverboy." He grabbed Elliot's face and planted one on him. Everyone laughed so hard that people passing by the break room stopped and stared.

After she had wiped the tears from her eyes, Casey motioned for everyone to quiet down.

"OK. One more game, then we'll let El and Liv open the rest of their gifts. We need guys and gals for this one."

Once she had all the players chosen and assembled to her liking, Casey explained the game. "This one is simple, but I think you'll enjoy it. At least, most of us will! The guys are going to be taste testers. Gals, you're going to be feeding the guys. The object of the game is to guess the flavor of BABY FOOD!"

The men scowled in disgust while the women smirked and nodded. "Hey, El. Pay special attention. In a few months, you're going to be wearing a lot of it!" someone called out.

"Hey, I've already had five kids, remember?" Elliot retorted. "Maybe Olivia should do the tasting!" He laughed and rubbed her back as Olivia stuck her hands out on protest and shook her head vehemently.

The women had fun feeding the men, who had been blindfolded. The winner would be the last one left standing who either didn't get sick or beg off. That, to everyone's surprise, turned out to be, John, with four marriages under his belt but no children. Casey, who had been certain Elliot's experience would gain him the victory, had chosen baby formula and baby food coupons as the prize. John gallantly handed them over to Elliot.

As Casey sorted through the gifts, Dr. Huang observed Elliot and Olivia. Like nearly everyone else at the precinct, he had not been blind to the bond between the former lead detectives. He recalled how Elliot had come to him during the Gitano case, visibly conflicted over his feelings for Olivia and the choice he had made to run to her side instead of the little boy's. Although it didn't happen in the way he had expected, George had always known he'd see this day. From the moment they laid eyes on each other, these two had been destined to be together. Now Olivia faced leaving the job she loved for the man she loved, and George promised himself he would make himself available to her to help her make the difficult decision.

"OK, I think we're ready, " Casey announced, clasping her hands together. She picked up a package. "This one is from all of us." She handed it to Elliot, who shook it.

"Clothes!" he announced. "What can I say? I . . . . "

". . . Have five kids. We know!" said everyone in unison.

He smiled sheepishly then opened the box. "I think this one's for me," he said, holding up a large T-shirt that read 'Cops Love Big Busts.'

"No comment," Olivia quipped. She peeked into the box. "I guess this is for me." She held up a sweatshirt that said, 'My parents are police officers, but I'm still the boss.' She shook her head, mouthing the word "no."

Elliot grinned. "You'll see!" he teased. He picked up a light blue sleeper. The word 'Rookie' stretched across the front, and the O's were made from a pair of handcuffs.

Together they opened the gifts from their colleagues and friends including an entire baby-sized cop outfit from Captain Cragun, complete with gun belt and sewn-on badge; a tiny pair of scrubs from Melinda; a rattle in the shape of a gavel from Judge Donnelly; and a pair of Kevlar boxers from Munch for El to wear when Liv was in labor. Casey had already told Olivia that she would give them their gift later, and the rest of the team had pitched in for a gift that they would present at their wedding.

"When are the nuptials, by the way?" Nick asked.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. "We're still thinking some time in October, after the baby is a few months old," Olivia answered.

Nick clapped Elliot on the shoulder. "Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, my man." He walked off to see if there was any punch left.

Gradually the guests thinned out, congratulating the couple and heading back to their respective departments. Finally, there remained only Olivia, Elliot, Casey, and George, who stepped forward.

"How are you feeling, Olivia?" he said in his typically quiet manner.

She paused then sighed tiredly as she ran her hands over her belly. "Exhausted. We should be going," she answered as she looked up at Elliot.

George smiled politely, but his eyes belied his amusement. "Well, that's to be expected. I'm wondering how you're doing emotionally after this party. My guess is you haven't cleaned out your desk yet." He held Olivia's gaze, clearly not intending to let her avoid the conversation.

She gasped. "No, I haven't! I completely forgot about that." Fresh tears threatened to spill. George was moved but not fazed.

"It's a decisive step," he prompted.

"Yes," Olivia answered quietly as she bowed her head. Casey folded her arms and looked away, wiping away a tear. She remembered how broken her friend had been when she had had to clear out Elliot's desk. Suddenly she whipped her head back around to face them.

"You know, I think it'd help if _Elliot_ cleaned out her desk. It's only fair." Casey waited for Elliot's reaction, expecting him to set his jaw and bounce on his heels the way he did when he was getting angry but did not wish to take it out on those present.

Instead, Elliot thoughtfully rubbed his chin then nodded decisively. "You're right, Casey. It is only fair." He turned to Olivia for her response, hoping she'd realize he was offering her an out. He did not think, especially in her pregnant state, Olivia would be able to handle cleaning out her own desk, even if it was only to make room for a temporary replacement.

Olivia was torn. She didn't want to clean out her desk, but she didn't want Elliot to either. Actually, if she were honest with herself, a small part of her did want him to be the one to do it. On the other hand, if she did it herself, it could even be cathartic, a symbol of how much had changed since he had brusquely left the force and of how much she had healed from the hole his departure had left in her.

Dr. Huang had intently been gauging Olivia's reactions and could see internal struggle surface in her features. Although he had been away for a few years, he could still read her.

"I think Olivia is up to the task. Don't you, Olivia?" He turned to her, hands clasped in front of him, unsmiling but not unfriendly.

Elliot began to protest, but Olivia squeezed his hand and placed her free hand on his chest. "I do," she answered George while looking up at Elliot. His brow relaxed, just a little.

"Are you sure?" His eyes questioned hers.

Olivia nodded. She took a deep breath. "No time like the present," she said, slowly exhaling.

"I'll go with you," Elliot stated. Olivia didn't protest.

"We all will, " Casey said as she started toward the squad room. A hand held her back; it was George's.

He shook his head. "This is something they need to do together, _alone_," he said in a gentle but firm tone. Casey nodded her assent though not necessarily her understanding. While no one was as protective of Olivia as Elliot was, Casey came close. She didn't think she could bear seeing her friend crumble again.

Elliot placed his hand on Olivia's back and gazed down at her. "Ready?"

Olivia's eyes glistened, and he nearly lost his resolve. Those eyes had always been his undoing. Then she stuck her chin out and reached for his hand.

"Ready."

**A/N: Thanks again for being so patient and loyal. I will try to update more often, especially since this story is nearing its conclusion. But don't worry! I already have a sequel in mind. ~ MM**


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